Marriage and raising children can be fulfilling life choices for many people—but according to one behavioral science expert, the happiest and healthiest people in society might be those who skip both.
Paul Dolan, a professor at the London School of Economics, told The Guardian that his research suggests traditional ideas of happiness and success often don’t match reality—especially for women.
He summed up his findings bluntly:
“If you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”
— Paul Dolan, LSE professor
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Dolan explained that while marriage tends to benefit men by calming them down, boosting earnings, and helping them live longer, the same cannot be said for women.
“You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that, and dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children,” he added.
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While married people generally report higher happiness, Dolan says this often depends on whether their spouse is standing next to them when asked:
“When the spouse is not present: f***ing miserable,” Dolan said. “The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children.”
Dolan outlines this research in his book Happy Ever After, which draws heavily from data in the American Time Use Survey. The survey tracks how much pleasure and stress people feel doing everyday activities, comparing singles, marrieds, and those who are divorced, separated, or widowed.
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Other research has found that married women might benefit financially and emotionally—but Dolan believes those perks don’t always outweigh the stress of married life.
He also noted that single women often face stigma, not because they’re less happy but because of outdated social expectations.
“You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children—‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’ No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.”
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Dolan’s findings continue to spark debates about what success and happiness really look like—and whether choosing a partner and kids is always the best path for everyone.
This article originally appeared four years ago.
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This response to someone grieving a friend might be the best internet comment ever
When someone is hit with the sudden loss of a friend or loved one, words rarely feel like enough. Yet, more than a decade ago, a wise Redditor named GSnow shared thoughts so profound they still bring comfort to grieving hearts today.
Originally posted around 2011, the now-famous reply was rediscovered when Upvoted, an official Reddit publication, featured it again to remind everyone of its enduring truth. It began as a simple plea for help: “My friend just died. I don't know what to do.”
What followed was a piece of writing that many consider one of the internet’s best comments of all time. It remains shared across social media, grief forums, and personal messages to this day because its honesty and metaphor speak to the raw reality of loss and the slow, irregular path toward healing.
Below is GSnow’s full reply, unchanged, in all its gentle, wave-crashing beauty:
Why this advice still matters
Mental health professionals and grief counselors often describe bereavement in stages or phases, but GSnow’s “wave theory” gives an image more relatable for many. Rather than a linear process, grief surges and retreats—sometimes triggered by a song, a place, or a simple morning cup of coffee.
In recent years, this metaphor has found renewed relevance. Communities on Reddit, TikTok, and grief support groups frequently reshare it to help explain the unpredictable nature of mourning.
Many readers say this analogy helps them feel less alone, giving them permission to ride each wave of grief rather than fight it.
Finding comfort in shared wisdom
Since this comment first surfaced, countless people have posted their own stories underneath it, thanking GSnow and passing the words to others facing fresh heartbreak. It’s proof that sometimes, the internet can feel like a global support group—strangers linked by shared loss and hope.
For those searching for more support today, organizations like The Dougy Center, GriefShare, and local bereavement groups offer compassionate resources. If you or someone you know is struggling with intense grief, please reach out to mental health professionals who can help navigate these deep waters.
When grief comes crashing like the ocean, remember these words—and hang on. There is life between the waves.
This article originally appeared four years ago.