GOOD

Lordy, Seagulls, And ‘No Fuzz’: Relive All The Best Moments From Comey’s Riveting Testimony

Merriam-Webster joined the fun more than once

Chicago customers head to the bar R Public House, which opened five hours early, to watch former FBI Director James Comey testify before the Senate intelligence committee on June 8, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois.

Former FBI Director James Comey kicked off his public hearing Thursday morning by letting the Senate Intelligence Committee know he expected them to have done their homework, declining to repeat the “explosive” written testimony he released on Wednesday.


Though the Republican party insisted there was nothing of substance to be found in Comey’s statements, the internet begged to differ, capturing Comey’s sincere, apparently damning, and at times downright weird live testimony in all its glory.

“Lordy, I hope there are tapes.”

Early on, Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) pressed Comey, asking, “Why didn't you stop and say, 'Mr. President, this is wrong, I cannot discuss this with you?'”

Comey answered by saying, “I was so stunned by the conversation that I just took it in and the only thing I could think to say, because I was playing in my mind to remember every word he said, I was playing in my mind, what should my response be? That's why I very carefully chose the words. I’ve seen the tweet about tapes. Lordy, I hope there are tapes," he said.

The moment was an instant Twitter classic.

And nobody could wait until Merriam-Webster chimed in.

Which it did, in uncharacteristically nonchalant fashion.

“The media was camping at the end of my driveway at that point, and I was actually going out of town with my wife to hide, and I worried that it would be like feeding seagulls at the beach."

Members of the media had to give this one to Comey.

“I had to call my wife and break a date with her.”

By now, Comey’s January dinner with Trump—in which the then President-elect demanded his loyalty—has taken on a notorious air. Asked if Comey had in any way initiated the dinner, he immediately scoffed and again brought up his wife.

“There should be no fuzz on this whatsoever, the Russians interfered in our election during the 2016 cycle.”

The former FBI Director minced fuzzed no words when he confirmed that the Russians did, in fact, commit a hostile act by interfering with the 2016 U.S. election.

Of course, Merriam-Webster had to weigh in again.

Is James Comey Dale Cooper IRL?

With a reprise of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks back on air, starring FBI Agent Dale Cooper (known for employing his own odd turns of phrase), the comparisons ran rampant.

And we can’t forget about the hearing’s other star, John McCain.

Toward the end of the hearing, 80-year-old Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) either showed his age or a refusal to take a stand, engaging Comey in a number of strange queries.

Rachel Maddow’s description was an understatement, to say the least.

Especially when you take a look at the other Senators in attendance.

McCain apparently felt he had to address his unusual behavior, and released a press release on Thursday afternoon.

… So, how’d you do?

Though there were no smoking guns in Comey’s testimony, he addressed many of the public’s concerns about the ongoing Russia investigation—and many Twitter users appeared to keep score, going so far as to employ a #ComeyBingo hashtag.

Articles
AFP News Agency / Twitter

A study out of Belgium found that smart people are much less likely to be bigoted. The same study also found that people who are bigoted are more likely to overestimate their own intelligence.

A horrifying story out of Germany is a perfect example of this truth on full display: an anti-Semite was so dumb the was unable to open a door at the temple he tried to attack.

On Wednesday, October 9, congregants gathered at a synagogue in Humboldtstrasse, Germany for a Yom Kippur service, and an anti-Semite armed with explosives and carrying a rifle attempted to barge in through the door.

Keep Reading Show less
Communities
via Andi-Graf / Pixabay

The old saying goes something like, "Possessions don't make you happy." A more dire version is, "What you own, ends up owning you."

Are these old adages true or just the empty words of ancient party-poopers challenging you not to buy an iPhone 11? According to a new study of 968 young adults by the University of Arizona, being materialistic only brings us misery.

The study examined how engaging in pro-environmental behaviors affects the well-being of millenials. The study found two ways in which they modify their behaviors to help the environment: they either reduce what they consume or purchase green items.

Keep Reading Show less
Culture

One of the biggest obstacles to getting assault weapons banned in the United States is the amount of money they generate.

There were around 10 million guns manufactured in the U.S. in 2016 of which around 2 million were semiautomatic, assault-style weapons. According to the National Shooting Sports Foundation, the firearms industry's trade association, the U.S. industry's total economic impact in 2016 alone was $51 billion.

In 2016, the NRA gave over $50 million to buy support from lawmakers. When one considers the tens of millions of dollars spent on commerce and corruption, it's no wonder gun control advocates have an uphill battle.

That, of course, assumes that money can control just about anyone in the equation. However, there are a few brave souls who actually value human life over profit.

Keep Reading Show less
Health
via Reddit and NASA / Wikimedia Commons

Trees give us a unique glimpse into our past. An examination of tree rings can show us what the climate was like in a given year. Was it a wet winter? Were there hurricanes in the summer? Did a forest fire ravage the area?

An ancient tree in New Zealand is the first to provide evidence of the near reversal of the Earth's magnetic field over 41,000 years ago.

Over the past 83 million years there have been 183 magnetic pole reversals, a process that takes about 7,000 years to complete.

Keep Reading Show less
The Planet
via Pixabay

The final episode of "The Sopranos" made a lot of people angry because it ends with mob boss Tony Soprano and his family eating at an ice cream parlor while "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey plays in the background … and then, suddenly, the screen turns black.

Some thought the ending was a dirty trick, while others saw it as a stroke of brilliance. A popular theory is that Tony gets shot, but doesn't know it because, as his brother-in-law Bobby Baccala said, "You probably don't even hear it when it happens, right?"

So the show gives us all an idea of what it's like to die. We're here and then we're not.

Keep Reading Show less
Health