You Might Have To Curb Your Guacamole Consumption This Weekend

This is getting serious

Image via CC (Credit: Steven Depolo)

Whether it’s climate change, a vengeful El Nino, or just an angry God to blame, Americans must prepare for the unthinkable this Fourth of July weekend: curbing their guacamania.

In a supreme act of poetic injustice, Southern California is hardest hit. “Growers in Fallbrook, De Luz and Temecula reported record temperatures between 110 and 117 degrees, as well as 30-mile per hour winds,” the Los Angeles times lamented—“a potentially devastating combination for avocado groves planted in sandy soil where the fierce winds can wick away moisture faster than the trees can absorb it.”

Of course, guacamole fiends are now hardly confined to the West Coast. It’s all but impossible to hack it as an Instagram foodie without posting pics of the glorious green goop spooned over one kind of artisanal small bites or another.

It’s enough to make the least cool (and coolest) among us give in to a guacamole backlash. But even if your anger toward for the dip is building toward Hulk-like levels—peas? peas?!America’s avocado situation is truly no laughing matter. Competition from Mexican producers is fierce: they now control four fifths of the U.S. market. And next year’s crop is on track to be even worse than this time around. It’s not easy being green.