We Made A Menu To Eat Your Way Through The Final Presidential Debate
We can’t agree on everything, except these delicious food and drink ideas
You might think that Trump’s goose is cooked, but that won’t stop you from stress eating as you hate watch the third presidential debate on Wednesday, October 19 at 6 p.m. PST. Need some inspo? We’ve got you covered.
If you Wiki leeks, you’ll find that the cousin of onions and garlic is basically a superfood. What more appropriate snack could you eat as you watch the two candidates vie for the lonely spot atop a superpower?
The best thing about having Ore-Ida fries as a snack is the fact that they’re the same color as Trump’s hair, so you can pretend you’re Trump by putting them on your head and shouting inanities. The second best thing? They’re delish. If you’re into Trump’s waffling on immigration, we suggest the Waffle Fries. If you’re into Clinton’s experience, you might like the Extra Crispy Seasoned Crinkles.
Here’s a fun game: Try to figure out if you’re eating a right wing or a left wing. Chomp them all the way to the West Wing.
Taco Truck Tacos
Preferably purchased from the wall of taco trucks parked in front of Trump International Las Vegas hotel.
Stuffed Ballot Peppers
Nothing tastes better than good, old-fashioned, practically impossible voter fraud. And if you’re a Trump supporter, don’t forget to get those peppers in the oven by November 28.
A variation on a theme. Fun fact: It’s good and totally legal for postal workers to rip up Trump ballots.
Rotten Pumpkin (a.k.a. The Trumpkin)
Eating a Trumpkin might be as close as you’ll come to eating Donald Trump’s face without having to go to prison.
Being able to grab a beer with your future president has always been the barometer for an electable candidate. Take that a step further by punishing yourself with the same liquor Hillary Clinton gets bullied into drinking. Add some salt and lime and tequila shots are a bona fide snack.
Poisoned Vegan Sandwiches
Yes, leading up to Election Day, it can and will get more foolish by the day—likely by the hour. Load up on some Pret A Manger vegan sandwiches à la Pam Anderson’s visit to Julian Assange’s hideout at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. You don’t need to be a spy for the Clinton camp to eat flavorless sandwiches with an infamous hacker, but it certainly helps.
Now that you’re properly stocked up, kick your feet up and enjoy the next four years of indigestion. Here’s how to watch the debate on Wednesday.