Ja Rule and Kanye's Online Pick-Me-Ups

The internet is a pretty depressing place—news headlines feature the latest global aggressions, and carefully curated social media profiles make you feel like you’re simply not doing enough. But fear not, there are still indulgent corners of the web that offer refuge from the gloom and doom. In these cases, sanctuary comes in the form of hip-hop.

Thanks to the utter genius of self-described “RAP/INTERNET FIEND” Rhys Hillman, Please Help Me Ja Rule will offer up a scientifically-selected Ja tune to fit your mental and emotional state based on your answers to two revealing questions:

1. HOW THUG ARE YOU FEELING?

2. HOW EMOTIONAL ARE YOU FEELING?

A swift decision of “LIKE JA RULE IN 2001 (PAIN IS LOVE ERA)” and “I’M TRYNA SERENADE MY BABY MUMMA” and Ja blesses me with a little Ashanti and a lot of Fat Joe, with a grainy YouTube video of the classic “What’s Luv?” Just don’t act tough and pick “I DON’T GET EMOTIONAL, BRO” because Ja Rule will put you in your place. Real thugs have feelings.

If Ja Rule and a dose of early 2000s nostalgia just isn’t doing it for you, but you’re looking for a narcissistic kick to get you out of bed in the morning, USA Today’s Kanye West Self-Confidence Generator might be more up your alley. This gem tosses you choice ‘Ye quotes that will restore your faith in your own superiority.

Whatever your pleasure, whenever the web's getting you down, rest assured that you now have two viable, if unexpected, forms of escape in Ja Rule (right, Dave Chappelle?) and Kanye, proving once again that the internet works in mysterious ways.