New NRA Fairy Tales Ask: What If Hansel and Gretel Had Guns?

Children and firearms are a bad combination, no matter what the gun-rights organization would have you believe.

Screenshot from NRA Family site

Ah, fairy tales, those adorable morality stories passed down through the generations, bestowing upon us life lessons and practical instruction on how to ward off ogres, trolls, and big, bad wolves. Since many of these tales are rooted in real-life horrors, and the original versions often featured violence against kids, it’s no surprise that the NRA—famous for its tone-deaf, self-interested reactions to the shooting deaths of children—is hopping on the pumpkin carriage with a new series of gun-related fairy tales.

On the NRA Family website you can find updated versions of the classics like “Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun)” and “Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns).” The stories were created by author Amelia Hamilton, who is, according to the NRA site, a conservative blogger and author of the Growing Patriots series of children’s books,” and also—in case you were worried about her jingoistic credentials—“a lifelong writer and patriot.”

On the NRA’s Cam & Co show, Hamilton said she started with Little Red Riding Hood’s story, with her version differing from the classic in that “this time she has her shotgun and is ready.” To be fair to Hamilton, as she points out on Cam & Co, the stories are not about, say, Hansel and Gretel going Rambo on the witch—they resolve fairly peacefully, and do not portray kids killing people.

“People upset that my version of Little Red Riding Hood has everyone safe,” Hamilton wrote on Twitter. “Must prefer the high levels of violence in original.”

Of course, despite some very real consternation over the idea of kids being taught to use guns to solve their problems, the comedians of Twitter came out in force to make good mockery of the new series. “The other ducks made fun of him and called him ugly. So, he brought a gun to the pond and no one called him ugly again,” quipped University of Kansas law professor Corey Rayburn Yung, using the #NRAFairyTales hashtag.

As grimly (Grimmly?) funny as the NRA’s stupid stories may be, kids and guns are not, as Hamilton and her ilk would have you believe, a winning combination. Here is a list of kids killed or injured by gun violence in 2016 alone. And if Hansel and Gretel were traipsing around the woods with loaded guns, rather than the fun heroics of the NRA version, their outing probably would have ended a lot more like these tragic and horrifying real-life incidents involving siblings with guns. Here is just a random sampling:

5-year-old Kentucky boy fatally shoots 2-year-old sister (CNN)

3-year-old Alabama boy accidentally shoots, kills sister, 9 (CBS)

Charges against Chicago dad after 6-year-old shoots 3-year-old (CNN)

Tennessee boy finds loaded gun in mom’s purse and accidentally kills brother while waiting in parked car (Raw Story)

Teen dies in accidental shooting in SW Houston (KHOU)

‘I’m Sorry’: Mom Recounts Moment 5-Year-Old Shot and Killed Baby (NBC)

The list goes on (and on and on). In the end, this Twitter user got it right:

via Real Time with Bill Maher / YouTube and The Late Late Show with James Corden / YouTube

A controversial editorial on America's obesity epidemic and healthcare by comedian Bill Maher on his HBO show "Real Time" inspired a thoughtful, and funny, response by James Cordon. It also made for a great debate about healthcare that Americans are avoiding.

At the end of the September 6th episode of "Real Time, " Maher turned to the camera for his usual editorial and discussed how obesity is a huge part of the healthcare debate that no one is having.

"At Next Thursday's debate, one of the candidates has to say, 'The problem with our healthcare system is Americans eat shit and too much of it.' All the candidates will mention their health plans but no one will bring up the key factor: the citizens don't lift a finger to help," Maher said sternly.

Keep Reading Show less

There is no shortage of proposals from the, um, what's the word for it… huge, group of Democratic presidential candidates this year. But one may stand out from the pack as being not just bold but also necessary; during a CNN town hall about climate change Andrew Yang proposed a "green amendment" to the constitution.

Keep Reading Show less
Me Too Kit

The creator of the Me Too kit — an at home rape kit that has yet to hit the market — has come under fire as sexual assault advocates argue the kit is dangerous and misleading for women.

The kit is marketed as "the first ever at home kit for commercial use," according to the company's website. "Your experience. Your kit. Your story. Your life. Your choice. Every survivor has a story, every survivor has a voice." Customers will soon be able order one of the DIY kits in order to collect evidence "within the confines of the survivor's chosen place of safety" after an assault.

"With MeToo Kit, we are able to collect DNA samples and other tissues, which upon testing can provide the necessary time-sensitive evidence required in a court of law to identify a sexual predator's involvement with sexual assault," according to the website.

Keep Reading Show less

Villagers rejoice as they receive the first vaccines ever delivered via drone in the Congo

The area's topography makes transporting medicines a treacherous task.

Photo by Henry Sempangi Senyule

When we discuss barriers to healthcare in the developed world, affordability is commonly the biggest concern. But for some in the developing world, physical distance and topography can be the difference between life and death.

Widjifake, a hard-to-reach village in northwestern Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) with a population of 6,500, struggles with having consistent access to healthcare supplies due to the Congo River and its winding tributaries.

It can take up to three hours for vehicles carrying supplies to reach the village.

Keep Reading Show less
via Keith Boykin / Twitter

Fox News and President Trump seem like they may be headed for a breakup. "Fox is a lot different than it used to be," Trump told reporters in August after one of the network's polls found him trailing for Democrats in the 2020 election.

"There's something going on at Fox, I'll tell you right now. And I'm not happy with it," he continued.

Some Fox anchors have hit back at the president over his criticisms. "Well, first of all, Mr. President, we don't work for you," Neil Cavuto said on the air. "I don't work for you. My job is to cover you, not fawn over you or rip you, just report on you."

Keep Reading Show less