Giant Nicolas Cage Head Could Terrorize Canada This Labor Day

Graphic designer Thom Malone wants to break the Guinness Record for largest photo mosaic.

Ladies and gentlmen, Nicolas Cage

A Canadian man aims to break the Guinness World Record for the largest photo mosaic in the world, with a giant, 21,646-square meter portrait of Reddit’s “one true god,” and most tolerable Coppola, actor Nicolas Cage.

While some of us toss and turn at night worrying about our loved ones, our jobs, or say, the victims of the countless wars raging around the globe, Thom Malone of Windsor, Ontario, spends his time in bed with Cage on the brain.

“There would be nights my restless feet would dig holes into the bed sheets,” he says on the Kickstarter page for his new project. “Sleepless, left to wander the deep recesses of the mind. A question we've all asked at one point or another: ‘Do enough people truly love Nicolas Cage?’ That would be the question that would haunt me for years.”

CBC News reports that Malone, a 25-year-old graphic designer, is trying to raise $52,000 for the project, which will assemble 180,000 different photos to form a single mosaic image of Cage. And while the endeavor may seem like the troll-y, pie-in-the-sky lark of someone with too much time on their hands, Malone, who plans to unveil the mosaic on Labor Day weekend, makes some pretty good points regarding the objective value of the humongous tribute. For example:

“If aliens were to ever come to earth, they would need to know who our ambassador is,” Malone reasons. “How best to show aliens that we want peace, but also not to mess with us than with a giant mosaic made up of a million faces to create one giant Nicolas Cage face?”

The Necklace Cage

I feel safer already. Contributors to the campaign are eligible for a few pretty sweet incentives, including a mean-mugging Cage cup, and my personal favorite, the “Necklace Cage.” By donating, you can also add a personal photo to the mosaic, becoming a part of world history, Nicolas Cage history, and—for what it’s worth—Canadian history.

“I'd like to bring something to Windsor for it to be known as something other than the crappy things it's known for,” Malone told CBC.

If you’re into this kind of thing, you can donate to Malone’s project here.

Julian Meehan

Young leaders from around the world are gathering at the United Nations Headquarters in New York Saturday to address arguably the most urgent issue of our time. The Youth Climate Summit comes on the heels of an international strike spearheaded by Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old climate activist from Sweden, who arrived in New York via emissions-free sailboat earlier this month.

Translated from Swedish, "berg" means "mountain," so it may feel fated that a young woman with Viking blood in her veins and summit in her name would be at the helm. But let's go out on a limb and presume Thunberg, in keeping with most activists, would chafe at the notion of pre-ordained "destiny," and rightly so. Destiny is passive — it happens to you. It's also egomaniacal. Change, on the other hand, is active; you have to fight. And it is humble. "We need to get angry and understand what is at stake," Thunberg declared. "And then we need to transform that anger into action."

This new generation of activists' most pernicious enemy is denial. The people in charge — complacent politicians and corporation heads who grossly benefit from maintaining the status quo — are buffered from real-life consequences of climate change. But millions of people don't share that privilege. For them, climate change isn't an abstract concept, but a daily state of emergency, whether it comes in the form of "prolonged drought in sub-Saharan Africa…devastating tropical storms sweeping across Southeast Asia, the Caribbean and the Pacific…[or] heatwaves and wildfires," as Amnesty International reportsare all too real problems people are facing on a regular basis.

RELATED: Greta Thunberg urges people to turn to nature to combat climate change

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