10 Things You Forgot To Be Thankful For

Coffee, Millennials, Nickleback … here’s why you should be giving thanks for these seemingly random things, and more

Photo by Brocken Inaglory

1. Opposable thumbs

Behold the humble thumb, tacked on to the end of your hand like an afterthought. You may not realize how much you need that stubby meat tube but it’s exactly the thing that divides us from our greatest enemies: new world monkeys.

Gif by Timemaps via Wikimedia commons

\n2. No More Black Death

The Black Death almost took out the entire human race, which might’ve been great for the environment, but terrible for you and me, greedy bipedal rodents of the earth that we are.

Photo by Stuart Sevastos

3. Nickelback

Few things unite us as strongly as our mutual distaste for this self-serious Canadian rock band. Should the growling, buttrock renditions of Chad Kroeger and his band of cheesy hacks irritate your eardrums this year, proudly count yourself among the community of millions of anti-fans.

4. Hangnails

Hangnails are awful. But plodding through the everyday drudgery of a 9-to-5 workday can make you complacent, and a mildly painful hangnail is a throbbing reminder of our fragile humanity.

Photo by Connie Ma

5. Books (while they still exist)

You ungrateful assholes put the humble neighborhood bookstore out of business with your careless disregard for the printed word. Enjoy the cold, unrelenting glare of your Amazon Kindle as the human race continues its steady march towards extinction.

Photo by Remko van Dokkum via Flickr

\n6. All the times Gmail was down\n

What some may term a “Protestant work ethic” others may call a fucking insane amount of loyalty to a job. Sometimes it takes the Google servers failing for an hour or two to realize that it’s totally fine you didn’t answer your boss’s email within 10 minutes of when it was sent.

Photo by Igor Mukhin

\n7. Balaclavas

An underappreciated fashion accessory useful for those days you feel incapable of facing the world—which for some of us is every day.

8. Pharrell

For showing us eternal life is possible.

Photo by Julius Schorzman

9. A simple goddamn cup of coffee

When did it get so expensive to get caffeinated? Even a humble drip coffee at a trendy local cafe can set you back five bucks, which is five dollars less you can spend on sleeping pills and other useful drugs. But you don’t need a beard and a flannel apron to brew a basic cup of Folger’s.

10. Millennials

Your millennial-bashing makes you sound like an old codger. One day, drones will be dropping pizzas at your doorstep and you’ll be able to teleport to the bathroom during Super Bowl commercial breaks, and you’ll have some irresponsible, narcissistic millennial to thank for it.

Photo by Josh Couch on Unsplash

Christopher Columbus, Alexander Hamilton, William Shakespeare, and Sir Walter Scott are getting company. Statues of the famous men are scattered across Central Park in New York City, along with 19 others. But they'll finally be joined by a few women.

Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Sojourner Truth are the subjects of a new statue that will be on display along The Mall, a walkway that runs through the park from 66th to 72nd street. It will be dedicated in August of next year, which is fittingly the 100-year anniversary of the 19th Amendment that granted women the right to vote.

Currently, just 3% of statues in New York City are dedicated to women. Out of 150 statues of historical figures across the city, only five statues are of historical women, including Joan of Arc, Golda Meir, Gertrude Stein, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Harriet Tubman.

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Historically, we have waited until something is near the complete point of collapse, then fought and clawed to bring the species numbers back up. But oftentimes we wait so long that it's too late. Creatures vanish from the Earth altogether. They go extinct. And even though I don't think for a single second that we should downplay the severity of extinction, if we can flip this on its head and show that every once in a while a species we have given up on is actually still out there, hanging on by a thread against all odds, that is a story that deserves to be told. A tragic story of loss becomes one about an animal that deserves a shot at preservation and a message of hope the world deserves to hear.

As a wildlife biologist and tracker who has dedicated his life to the pursuit of animals I believe have been wrongfully deemed extinct, I spend most of my time in super remote corners of the Earth, hoping to find some shred of evidence that these incredible creatures are still out there. And to be frank, I'm pretty damn good at it!

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The Planet

For more than 20 years. Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) has served the citizens of Maine in the U.S. Senate. For most of that time, she has enjoyed a hard-fought reputation as a moderate Republican who methodically builds bridges and consensus in an era of political polarization. To millions of political observers, she exemplified the best of post-partisan leadership, finding a "third way" through the static of ideological tribalism.

However, all of that has changed since the election of Donald Trump in 2016. Voters in Maine, particularly those who lean left, have run out of patience with Collins and her seeming refusal to stand up to Trump. That frustration peaked with the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.

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NHM Vienna/Hans Reschreiter

Wealth inequality has been a hot topic of discussion as of late, but it's something that's occurred all throughout history. Class structure is a complicated issue, especially when you consider that haves and have nots have been in existence for over 4,000 years.

A study published in Science took a look at over 100 late Neolithic and early Bronze Age skeletons found in a burial site in southern Germany. The study "shed light on the complexity of social status, inheritance rules, and mobility during the Bronze Age." Partly by looking at their teeth and the artifacts they were buried with, researchers were able to discover that wealth inequality existed almost 4,000 years ago. "Our results reveal that individual households lasting several generations consisted of a high-status core family and unrelated low-status individuals, a social organization accompanied by patrilocality and female exogamy, and the stability of this system over 700 years," the study said.

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via / Flickr and Dimitri Rodriguez / Flickr

Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign looks to be getting a huge big shot in the arm after it's faced some difficulties over the past few weeks.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a leading voice in the Democratic parties progressive, Democratic Socialist wing, is expected to endorse Sanders' campaign at the "Bernie's Back" rally in Queens, New York this Saturday.

Fellow member of "the Squad," Ilhan Omar, endorsed him on Wednesday.

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