Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: Donald Trump took to Twitter to blast a media outlet for having the nerve to be critical of something he’s associated with.
More specifically, he fired off this tweet, which adheres to his boilerplate “I’ve been wronged!” outrage template after Vanity Fair had the nerve to suggest that his Trump Grill, located in Trump Tower, wasn’t a very good restaurant.
Cutting right to the chase, they not-so-subtly suggest it could be the worst restaurant in America. I know this because the magazine titled the piece by Tina Nguyen “TRUMP GRILL COULD BE THE WORST RESTAURANT IN AMERICA.”
Without referencing the slam, President-elect Trump decided the highest and best use of his time was to fire off a typically mean tweet using his now-trademark angry-toddler-grammar:
Vanity Fair has a history of lampooning Trump, but it’s pretty clear given the timing that their write-up of the Trump Grill, home to the most famous taco bowl in the entire universe, was the impetus for the social media outburst. Unfortunately for Trump, the traffic and attention he drove to VF with that tweet caused them to enjoy a record-high subscription rate over the past 24 hours.
As the title suggests, the whole piece is a knock on Trump’s fine dining/steakhouse mishmash, but below are out eight favorite digs at the establishment, any one of which could have elicited the Trump nastygram he dispatched earlier this week.
“…flaccid, gray Szechuan dumplings with their flaccid, gray innards…”
Well, at least they’re consistent with color and texture, which is more than can be said for the adherence to how the restaurant’s name is actually spelled:
“…Trump Grill (which is occasionally spelled Grille on various pieces of signage)…”
Or the use of capitalization throughout the menu:
“The menu itself would like to impress diners with how important it is, randomly capitalizing fancy words like ‘Prosciutto’ and ‘Julienned’.”
The author of the write-up wasn’t a big fan of the wall art either.
“The restaurant features a stingy number of French-ish paintings that look as though they were bought from Home Goods.”
Nor the hamburger that was delivered to her table:
“Presumably, Trump’s Great America tastes like an M.S.G.-flavored kitchen sponge lodged between two other sponges.”
Perhaps this is an experience that Tina Nguyen can just drink her way through? Not at Trump Grill, it would seem:
“…the cocktails seemed to be concocted by a college freshman experimenting in their dorm room.”
Though it isn’t original to the VF article, the piece does reference Robert Sietsema of Eater, who suggested that the restaurant was best “for timid people with digestive problems.”
Finally, in regards to the filet mignon, a favorite of Don Jr., she writes, “The plate must have tilted during its journey from the kitchen to the table, as the steak slumped to the side over the potatoes like a dead body inside a T-boned minivan.”
The article doesn’t manage to quantify the review of the Trump Grill in terms of stars, but “zero” feels like the right number of stars Tina Nguyen would bestow upon it – and it’s looking like the whole world is in agreement.
The entire Vanity Fair article can be read in its entirety on their site.
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