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20 things you didn't realize you were doing because of childhood emotional abuse.

Experiencing emotional abuse growing up can have a lasting impact on an individual and we need to talk about it.

Thinkstock photo via sSplajn

It’s been said before that childhood emotional abuse is “invisible” because it doesn’t leave physical traces. But what we may not realize is experiencing emotional abuse growing up can have a lasting impact on an individual — and we need to talk about it.


Unfortunately, the effects of childhood emotional abuse don’t stay confined to childhood. Oftentimes, the effects extend into adolescence and adulthood — affecting self-image, worldview and relationships. Many people who experienced traumatic childhood experiences may even struggle with their mental health as a result.

Our partners at The Mighty wanted to know what effects childhood emotional abuse could have on a person, so they asked their mental health community to share things they didn’t realize they were doing because of emotional abuse they experienced growing up.

Here’s what they shared:

1. “Apologizing for other people’s behavior, making excuses for them or trying to build a logical reason for why they behave the way they do. I take blame for things that aren’t my fault. My parents would ridicule me and it’s left me with a severe social anxiety where I’m actually scared of people. I have an irrational fear of people staring or judging me. The worst thing for me is being embarrassed. I was bullied so much at home that being embarrassed in front of someone can eat me up inside for days, weeks, months. I have zero confidence in myself.” — Josephine J.

2. “Overthinking. I overthink everything, and analyze your every word, every movement. I have to think of all the possibilities so I am prepared because I never felt prepared when I was younger… I was always the victim. Never again.” — Julie J.

3. “I put tons of pressure on myself then fall to pieces when I cannot handle the unbearable load. I think I am supposed to be perfect even though I can’t be. I cannot deal with people verbally fighting. If they do, I will panic and get sick until I leave the situation. If too many things have gone wrong recently, I feel the need to self sabotage and will hurt myself in some way. It’s sad really.” — Shonda P.

via The home of Fixers on Flickr

4. “Downplaying my own problems/struggles because I feel the need to help and ‘fix’ everyone else, and convincing myself my problems aren’t as bad/important.” — Angela V.

5. “Bottling up everything and never really asking for help because I feel like a liability. When I talk to somebody and they interrupt me to start talking and afterwards ask me what I was busy saying, I say, ‘I can’t remember’ in order to downplay how much it actually hurt me. [It] makes me feel uninteresting because they didn’t let me finish talking in the first place… and as a result, I don’t really talk a lot in real life.. “ — Gerad S.

6. “Apologizing all the time. Being scared to do things because I feel like no matter how hard I try, I’ll get it wrong or disappoint someone.” — Laurie B.

7. “Now, as an adult, I realized a lot of my anger comes from having anger and abuse directed towards me as a child.” — Andrea V.


8. “Acting all big and tough, pretending like I don’t have a problem in the world. When I act big and tough, it almost tricks my own mind into thinking I am big and tough and that past that held my emotional abuse just never happened. But at night, I return back to reality and become extremely depressed knowing no one in the world will ever know the truth about me.” — Emily E.

9. “Flinching when people touch me or when they scream. As a kid I would hide, as an adult I just leave. I also count things. It’s a small movement like touching the tips of each finger on my right hand and blinking to coincide. Its an obsessive trait. OCD. The pattern has become consuming but it makes me feel at home.” — Kaytlyn K.

via The People Speak / Flickr

10. “[I] make fun of my own emotions, call myself names when I’m acting emotional, blame myself, constantly apologize, panic when being yelled at, get upset and cry when confronted about confrontation, keep things like emotions to myself [and] have panic attacks when I hear people arguing in screaming matches.” — Riley M.

11. “I’m so afraid of my loved ones dying. It’s turned into an obsession. I’m scared they’re all going leave me and I’m going to be alone. I push new people away before they have the opportunity to leave. I care about my close family so much that I put them all before myself. It’s mentally and physically exhausting.” — Ashley G.

12. “Always saying ‘yes,’ because if I say ‘no,’ I will feel like a bad girl. And you don’t say ‘no’ to mom and dad. If you do you will be shouted at, beaten up or even worse. Such a small thing, such a big story behind that.” — Laura V.

13. “If I make a decision, even a small decision [like] switching toothpaste brands, I panic because I don’t know if I’m making the right decision because I was conditioned to never trust myself. Everything was always up to them.” — Evita R.

14. “When people raise their voice at me, I automatically shut down. In a bad way. [I’m] full of anger most of the time because it’s a trigger.” — Ana F.

15. “Being too careful and reserved when I meet new people, which makes them think I’m either not interested or even arrogant. Or being way too active when meeting new people, so they won’t realize I’m anxious.” — Marisa N.

via Tom Edgington / Flickr

16. “I immediately cave in any confrontation. As soon as a voice is raised, I lose all sense of confidence or backbone — like I’m being backed into a corner.” — Quinn M.

17. “Over-explain myself and talk really fast because I was always talked over and ridiculed for everything I said. I also flinch when my shoulders are touched, and lose my cool when yelled at by men.” — Latasha T.

18. “Living my life being nearly unbearably lonely because I’ve found acceptance from so few and ridicule and betrayal from so many. I continue to work on accepting being lonely gracefully, but am in fact most of the time just trying to hide how lonely and hurt I am to be excluded.” — Deb K.

19. “Silence. As a kid, I learned that speaking up about how I was feeling would only lead to more pain. As an adult, I struggle to communicate my feelings because I’m always afraid I will be dismissed, attacked or ignored. Better to suffer in silence and let everyone think I’m OK than give anyone another chance to hurt me.” — Robi K.

20. “I’m terrified of authority figures. I’m always worried I’m ‘in trouble’ for just existing. I’m an adult, and a tertiary-educated professional. I don’t get ‘in trouble.’ But the minute I have to talk to a manager at work, I feel like a naughty little kid trying to avoid getting grounded.” — Sarah K.

Can you relate?

If you or a loved one is affected by domestic violence or emotional abuse and need help, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

Articles
via Thomas Ledia / Wikimedia Commons

On April 20, 1889 at the Braunau am Inn, in Upper Austria Salzburger located at Vorstadt 15, Alois and Klara Hitler brought a son into the world. They named him Adolph.

Little did they know he would grow up to be one of the greatest forces of evil the world has ever known.

The Hitlers moved out of the Braunau am Inn when Adolph was three, but the three-story butter-colored building still stands. It has been the subject of controversy for seven decades.

via Thomas Ledia / Wikimedia Commons

The building was a meeting place for Nazi loyalists in the 1930s and '40s. After World War II, the building has become an informal pilgrimage site for neo-Nazis and veterans to glorify the murderous dictator.

The building was a thorn in the side to local government and residents to say the least.

RELATED: He photographed Nazi atrocities and buried the negatives. The unearthed images are unforgettable.

For years it was owned by Gerlinde Pommer, a descendant of the original owners. The Austrian government made numerous attempts to purchase it from her, but to no avail. The building has served many purposes, a school, a library, and a makeshift museum.

In 1989, a stone from the building was inscribed with:

"For Peace, Freedom

and Democracy.

Never Again Fascism.

Millions of Dead Remind [us]."

via Jo Oh / Wikimedia Commons

For three decades it was home to an organization that offered support and integration assistance for disabled people. But in 2011, the organization vacated the property because Pommer refused to bring it up to code.

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In 2017, the fight between the government and Pommer ended with it seizing the property. Authorities said it would get a "thorough architectural remodeling is necessary to permanently prevent the recognition and the symbolism of the building."

Now, the government intends to turn it into a police station which will surely deter any neo-Nazis from hanging around the building.

Austria has strict anti-Nazi laws that aim to prohibit any potential Nazi revival. The laws state that anyone who denies, belittles, condones or tries to justify the Nazi genocide or other Nazi crimes against humanity shall be punished with imprisonment for one year up to ten years.

In Austria the anti-Nazi laws are so strict one can go to prison for making the Nazi hand salute or saying "Heil Hitler."

"The future use of the house by the police should send an unmistakable signal that the role of this building as a memorial to the Nazis has been permanently revoked," Austria's IInterior Minister, Wolfgang Peschorn said in a statement.

The house is set to be redesigned following an international architectural competition.

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Center for American Progress Action Fund

Tonight's Democratic debate is a must-watch for followers of the 2020 election. And it's a nice distraction from the impeachment inquiry currently enveloping all of the political oxygen in America right now.

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via Mike Mozart / Flickr

Chick-fil-A is the third-largest fast food chain in America, behind McDonald's and Starbucks, raking in over $10 billion a year.

But for years, the company has faced boycotts for supporting anti-LGBT charities, including the Salvation Army, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and the Paul Anderson Youth Home.

The Salvation Army faced criticism after a leader in the organization implied that gay people "deserve to die" and the company also came under fire after refusing to offer same-sex couples health insurance. But the organization swears it's evolving on such issues.

via Thomas Hawk / Flickr

The Fellowship of Christian Athletes explicitly announced it was anti gay marriage in a recent "Statement of Faith."

God instituted marriage between one man and one woman as the foundation of the family and the basic structure of human society. For this reason, we believe that marriage is exclusively the union of one man and one woman.

The Paul Anderson Youth Home teaches boys that homosexuality is wrong and that same-sex marriage is "rage against Jesus Christ and His values."

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In 2012, Chick-fil-A's CEO, Dan Cathy, made anti same-sex marriage comments on a radio broadcast:

I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, "We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage". I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.

But the chicken giant has now decided to change it's says its charitable donation strategy because it's bad for business...Not because being homophobic is wrong.

The company recently lost several bids to provide concessions in U.S. airports. A pop-up shop in England was told it would not be renewed after eight days following LGBTQ protests.

Chick-fil-A also has plans to expand to Boston, Massachusetts where its mayor, Thomas Menino, pledged to ban the restaurant from the city.

via Wikimedia Commons

"There's no question we know that, as we go into new markets, we need to be clear about who we are," Chick-fil-A President and Chief Operating Officer Tim Tassopoulos told Bisnow. "There are lots of articles and newscasts about Chick-fil-A, and we thought we needed to be clear about our message."

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Instead, the Chick-fil-A Foundation plans to give $9 million to organizations that support education and fight homelessness. Which is commendable regardless of the company's troubled past.

"If Chick-Fil-A is serious about their pledge to stop holding hands with divisive anti-LGBTQ activists, then further transparency is needed regarding their deep ties to organizations like Focus on the Family, which exist purely to harm LGBTQ people and families," Drew Anderson, GLAAD's director of campaigns and rapid response, said in a statement.

Chick-fil-A's decision to back down from contributing to anti-LGBT charities shows the power that people have to fight back against companies by hitting them where it really hurts — the pocket book.

The question remains: If you previously avoided Chick-fil-A because it supported anti-LGBT organizations, is it now OK to eat there? Especially when Popeye's chicken sandwich is so good people will kill for it?

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via Gage Skidmore / Flickr and nrkbeta / flickr

The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) dropped a bombshell on Tuesday, announcing it had over 900 emails that White House aide Stephen Miller sent to former Breitbart writer and editor Katie McHugh.

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