Did you get all of that?
Those on both sides of the political aisle can agree that the White House a lot on its plate right now—very little of which pertains to progress. But that’s not going to stop the White House from deflecting negative attention by issuing an update on that Mexico-U.S. border wall that’s near and dear to the hearts of almost no one.
The Trump Administration issued an objectively ridiculous “update” to the “progress” (sorry, but this story just begs for scare-quotes) being made on the effort to construct a wall over 1,000 miles long to keep out immigrants.
Surely, seeing as how Trump hung his hat on this project during his campaign, the project is well on its way to becoming fleshed out financially, diplomatically, and logistically, right?
RIGHT?
We’ll let the update, picked up by Fox News, speak for itself.
Border wall requirements. https://t.co/AFYG0s5pCS— Fox News (@Fox News) 1489949824.0
Hmm. Those are some pretty broad strokes, I must admit. Customs and Border Protection requested two different types of proposals from contractors, one for a solid concrete wall and one with “a see-through component.” Those links both go to very formal-looking documents that consist almost entirely of boilerplate language with no further guidance or description of what the Trump administration has in mind.
It must be a tall wall that will look good to the U.S. citizens who will undoubtedly stare at it in all its isolationist majesty. And the wall must also serve the purpose of a wall, being difficult (but not impossible?) to cut through or climb. It’s almost like this hasn’t been given very much thought at all.
If you’re wondering where the creativity and ingenuity is in this plan, you might want to look for it in the tweets of critics, who took this “update” on “requirements” and had a little more fun with it.
https://t.co/k0oKM90S87— LB™? “???? ?????” (@LB™? “???? ?????”) 1489971172.0
.@FoxNews https://t.co/HCjK5lkXOH— vote for bernie sanders i have a gun (@vote for bernie sanders i have a gun) 1489958799.0
The border wall will be 30 feet high. Let me do a quick look at "the google"... ??? https://t.co/qjttk30Hiy— skullsinthestars (@skullsinthestars) 1489958513.0
@realDonaldObama @FoxNews :) https://t.co/15L7wRHcpz— YK ??? (@YK ???) 1489956912.0
@FoxNews Fixed it. https://t.co/L5FZXj0ZxK— It's Zeke! (@It's Zeke!) 1489979196.0
If you find yourself opposed to the border wall in theory or in practice, you’ll find this “update” to be very welcome indeed.