Facebook community groups can have a nasty underbelly.
You haven’t TRULY lived at the crossroads of technology and community until you’ve joined a neighborhood Facebook group. In the best of times, these groups serve as great organizing tools for neighbors looking to connect with each other, demand better living conditions, and spread info about housing availability.
However, the obnoxious underbelly of these groups involves lots of petty complaints, entitled neighbors, and sometimes expressions of paranoia or racist profiling.
In a more absurd marriage between petty complaint and entitlement, an (anonymous) member of a neighborhood group posted a lengthy complaint about the acorns littering the block only to quickly get roasted.
I advise you to fully settle in so you can enjoy this beautiful piece of work.
This post in my neighborhood FB group is getting absolutely destroyed pic.twitter.com/8i0wAGP0qO— Alex ACORNover (@alex_cono) October 9, 2018\n
Since this post reads more as an Onion column written to mock yuppies than an actual complaint, the original poster was quickly dragged to shreds.
People were quick to point out how the problem could be easily solved if the “competitive barefoot runner” compromised their values enough to wear shoes while running.
Many of the neighbors were blissfully previously unaware of the existence of “competitive barefoot runners,” because they presumably have lives and real problems to worry about.
To make matters even better, the distressed barefoot runner reported the ENTIRE neighborhood group for cyberbullying. If “Portlandia” hasn’t adopted this into an episode yet, they are truly missing out.
HE REPORTED THE ENTIRE "I LOVE NE MINNEAPOLIS" GROUP TO THE CITY FOR CYBERBULLYING LOL pic.twitter.com/dJVOAavxCC— Alex ACORNover (@alex_cono) October 9, 2018\n
Given all the acorn talk, one neighbor helpfully shared a delicious recipe the barefoot runner can hopefully adopt into his lifestyle.
special bonus comment pic.twitter.com/lT6jwQtZSG— Alex ACORNover (@alex_cono) October 9, 2018\n
But wait, there’s more!
This isn’t the first time he’s posted something absurd enough to gain notoriety in his community. When he first moved to the area, this man also posted about COMPETITIVE UNICYCLING.
I have just learned that this guy has already gained notoriety in our neighborhood group for this previous post pic.twitter.com/TNky8MRroc— Alex ACORNover (@alex_cono) October 9, 2018\n
Needless to say, this whole absurd ordeal has brought pure joy and bliss to the internet as a whole.
"sounds like we forced your foot, actually" made it all extremely worth it.— Erik the tear-gassed asylum seeker (@EDoggTheRed) October 10, 2018\n
Thank you, Alex, for the joy you have brought to so many who so desperately need it.— Jenny Gattone (@TheWriteJennyG) October 10, 2018\n
As an AVID and PROFESSIONAL commenter on FB I have to say...the use of “Kindly Move Along” after a ridiculous rant is like a giant well placed Bow on a Christmas gift.— Ching Ching (@ChynnaTown11) October 10, 2018\n
"If you are a casual unicyclist kindly move along" - I feel like unicycling is something you either are really into or not. 'Casual' hardly seems like an appropriate adjective. Also I have never met any sort of unicyclist.— Erik the tear-gassed asylum seeker (@EDoggTheRed) October 10, 2018\n