Chick-fil-A Confessional: A Way to Atone for Your Sandwich Sins
Now you can snack with an untarnished soul.
Remember how back in the 16th century the Catholic church would sell indulgences and dispensations so you could basically buy the right to sin if you had enough money? The Chick-fil-A Confessional—"the only place you can right your lightly breaded wrong"—is sort of like that, but for orthodox progressives. You simply enter the sandwiches, sides, and other things you ordered at Chick-fil-A today and hit "receive my penance." The site gives you a link to various gay rights groups, including GLAAD and the Human Rights Campaign, and a suggested donation. Now you can snack with an untarnished soul.