The Time When Elizabeth Warren Tweetstormed Ted Cruz Into Oblivion

The sad GOP presidential hopeful is sad because campaigning is too hard

Normally when people on the Internet say “So-and-so destroyed so-and-so!” they’re being wildly hyperbolic. But yesterday on Twitter, Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts absolutely body bagged fellow senator and presidential hopeful Ted Cruz. He got merc’d. Eviscerated. And Warren took him down with pure, cold facts.

It started on Monday when Cruz sent out a campaign e mail enumerating all the sacrifices entailed in running for the highest office in the land (or at least tripping your way through the process of trying to run for the highest office in the land). “The constant attacks never stop,” he redundantly wrote. “Time with my family is non-existent,” he lamented, as though he didn’t choose to run but was forced to like some Manchurian candidate. But, through it all, he assured his “friends” that he is “willing to make the sacrifices despite – the high cost…”

Well, Senator Warren apparently saw this tear-soaked tissue and decided it was time to clap back with the following string of tweets:

Don’t hurt him, Elizabeth!

Someone ring the damn bell! She’s going to kill him!

And then in the 12th round she delivered the final punch:

Ding ding ding ding ding! The winner by knockout, from the blue corner, is Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massechusetts. We suspect Ted Cruz is somewhere recovering from his inuries today. It’s too bad the Cruz family has to see him this way. But you totally had this one coming.