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The GOOD Report Card: Samantha Bee Skewers Trump, Woody Allen Scares Everyone

A weekly roundup of who’s making the world awesome—and who’s part of the problem

Welcome to the inaugural GOOD Report Card. Each week, we run down the list of who’s GOOD, who’s Not So Good, and who’s straight up Part of the Problem. Here’s this week’s roundup:

GOOD

Samantha Bee sub-tweets Donald Trump


Fortunately we do not live in a vacuum where only Donald Trump is allowed to commemorate the surprising victory of a Mexican army over European military forces. (No, it is not Mexico’s Independence Day.) We’ve also got Samantha Bee, who “responded” to Trump’s taco salad post with a tweet of herself hunched over a dish of inauthentic Mexican cuisine. Stick around, Sam Bee. We’re going to need you this election season.

The Russo Brothers tease an early appearance of Captain Marvel

Image courtesy of Marvel

In an event this week at the Smithsonian Institute, the directing duo Anthony and Joseph Russo—better known as the Russo brothers, who are spearheading the Marvel Cinematic Universe—accidentally spilled some exciting news about the next major Marvel movie, Avengers: Infinity War, when they said the words “Captain Marvel.” A sharp fan quickly asked, “Did you just confirm Captain Marvel?” prompting the Russo’s to backpedal and say they meant “Captain Barvel.” Captain Barvel of course does not exist, which means super fans are likely to see the ass-kicking lady hero Captain Marvel before her solo movie debut in 2019. That will be the MCU’s first female-lead movie, despite the fact that it will be the 21st in the cinematic ultra-universe. Thanks for the oopsie, Russos!

Not So Good

Elizabeth Warren basically sub-tweeting the presidential election

In what seems like forever ago, Warren broke a million liberal Democrat hearts when she explained, in Meghan Trainor fashion, to stop asking her to run for president because the answer is: NO. She’s since gone from presidential hopeful to the Republican’s worst Twitter troll, calling out Ted Cruz and eviscerating Donald Trump with her machine gun-like spray of 140 characters. Then this week, she took her anti-Trump ray gun to Facebook. It sure is satisfying to follow her stream of pointed commentary, but at a certain point, it’s still just complaining on Twitter like the rest of us. Real impact would’ve been taking all this rage to the debate stage. Her social media critiques are a glaring reminder that the she should’ve run for president.

Creators of Xena: Warrior Princess reveal why Xena never had a gay plotline

In the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, the creative core of the series Xena assembled for an oral history of the show. LGBT Xena fans have long felt shortchanged by the fact that the Warrior Princess and her bard, Gabrielle, never hooked up despite so much chemistry between their characters. And co-creator Rob Tapert gave a pretty much terrible explanation for why:

“There was Ares [Kevin Smith], God of War, who we loved. We did not want to give up the hold that character had over Xena and the enjoyment we had with telling stories of Xena and Ares. So as much as we liked that Xena and Gabrielle were two people who were the best of friends, and perhaps intimate friends, we never wanted to give up Ares.”

Really?! “We just loved the guy!” was the best you could do in the face of “Why didn’t you make an historic statement with this beloved TV character?” Later on in the article things get a little better when Tapert puts additional blame on The Man for interfering, explaining that Universal Television didn’t want Xena to be perceived as a “lesbian show.” We’ll give you close-minded 1990s sensibilities, Tapert, but “We loved the male hero too much!” isn’t a good enough excuse for not stepping up to the creative plate.

Part of the Problem

Donald Trump’s Cinco de Mayo tweet

In what we expect will be a recurring theme in the GOOD Report Card at least until November, Donald Trump is a Part of the Problem this week for his ill-advised Cinco de Mayo tweet. The good and the bad of Trump tweeting about how his enjoyment of taco salad indicates his love of “Hispanics” is that A) It’s pretty racist but B) This is him trying not to be. Better luck next week, Trump. We’ll be waiting for you.

Woody Allen talking about his wife Soon-Yi

Woody Allen claims he doesn’t read articles about himself—a shame because it appears he could use some perspective. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the 80-year-old director talks about his 45-year-old wife Soon-Yi in the same patronizing tone one might use to talk about a child—creepily reminding us that, yes, he helped raise her from age 9 to 21. When asked how Soon-Yi has changed Allen over the course of their 20-year marriage, he said: "She had a very, very difficult upbringing in Korea: She was an orphan on the streets, living out of trash cans and starving as a 6-year-old.” Allen added, “I've been able to really make her life better. I provided her with enormous opportunities, and she has sparked to them." In case you forgot, the original question was about how she changed him.

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