The bad news: 68 people were trampled to death in a mountaintop temple in India. Rescue workers needed a cable car to reach the wounded.
Shia LaBeouf's hand was crushed in a wreck (that would never happen to Indiana Jones, Sr.).
And, worldwide HIV rates are 40% higher than we'd thought.
The possibly bad news, depending on whether you're not married and prefer the option of dying alone: A new study says marriage decreases your risk of Alzheimers and other dementia.
And, depending on whether you are utterly terrified of snakes, especially tiny ones that can permeate any wall and hide undetected in your bedsheets or plate of spaghetti: World's smallest snake discovered.
The good news [drum roll]: The art world gained a new Van Gogh by deciphering new layers in an impressionism palimpsest. There are now ten fewer things to worry about on your next vacation. And, it's only Sunday morning, and there's still an entire weekend day left to frolic in the sun. Let us recommend a little trip out to the beach at Montauk.