How to Cultivate Conscious Laziness
This article is part of The GOOD (and ReadyMade) Guide to Slowing Down, from GOOD Issue 18. Read more of the guide here. People talk a big...
This article is part of The GOOD (and ReadyMade) Guide to Slowing Down, from GOOD Issue 18. Read more of the guide here.People talk a big game about "spending the whole day in bed," but few realize the commitment this actually takes. Most people give up around noon, lured by the prospect of huevos rancheros. To be a true stay-in-bed-all-day connoisseur, you need to resist these urges and let pure, sweet lethargy take over. It's winter, after all-it works for bears. Here are some tips:Satin eye mask This is essential, not just for the luxe factor, but also to prevent beautiful weather from weakening your resolve. Yes, the sun is shining. But remember that, unless you live in a cave, the sun shines all the time.Books Having a stack of books next to the bed will make you feel distinguished and erudite. You're not lazy; you're savoring the pleasures of fine literature! (Even if you're actually delving the depths of a bag of salt-and-vinegar chips and New Moon.)Room service Plan on having breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed. The aforementioned frozen waffles are a low-effort and tasty breakfast, and they don't create a crumb problem the way toast does. But, for later in the day, be sure to have a few delivery options already entered in your phone and ready to dial.Nice pajamas Ladies: Ditch the worn Old Navy PJs and instead consider a pair of satin pajamas or a glam negligee with robe. Gentleman: don't slob around in your boxers and yesterday's undershirt. Dress for the occasion in a nice pair of silk or flannel pajamas. Smoking jacket optional.Hydration Since water is boring, liven it up with an ice tray full of flavored cubes (lemon, orange, maraschino, even mint). Sip this subtly flavored beverage from a goblet on your bedside table as the day drowsily marches on.Board games There's nothing more fun than a game of Boggle, Clue, Monopoly, Uno, or good old-fashioned checkers while in bed. If you don't have an opponent handy, well, that's what the internet is for.That's entertainment Be sure to have your favorite movies, streaming video site, or classy cable-drama-series DVDs all cued up. Note: It's absolutely okay if you end up watching infomercials all day.Embrace social media If you're spending all day in bed, you want other people to know about it, and be jealous. So provide frequent and descriptive Twitter and Facebook updates about your day. "Gray bird on windowsill." "Turning over now." "Tahitian Gardenia candle worth the $20."Wine or beerIf you spend all day in bed, there's really only one way to differentiate "day" from "night," and that would be booze. At 5 p.m., crack open a cold one to celebrate your achievement. Then, you've got just a few more hours to kill and it's back to bed! Good job-and sweet dreams.Zzz Being in bed doesn't mean you have to be asleep, but you should take frequent naps. Some people find it hard to wake up from a full night's rest only to immediately return to a REM state, but those peoples are quitters. To bore yourself unconscious, imagine you are 17th-century aristocrat: What would you be wearing? What would you be doing? What would the trees outside looks like? What sort of dialogue would you be…zzz.A few ground rules: Trips to the bathroom are allowed. So are trips to the front door to let in the delivery guy. Not permitted? Ab workouts, work-related web-surfing, cooking anything more ambitious than frozen waffles. Also: it helps to have a partner with you in this endeavor but it is not necessary-more covers for you.Our Good Guide to Slowing Down was a unique collaboration with our friends at ReadyMade magazine. Check out their good work at ReadyMade.com, and follow them on Twitter at @ReadyMadeTweets.Illustration by Tim Lahan