Raising The Bar For Evil Everywhere, A Politician Deemed This Ramp For Ducklings ‘A Waste’
Demonstrating that nothing in this world is deemed off-limits for those with a political agenda, Republican Representative Mark Walker of North Carolina made himself a litany of new enemies and critics by introducing himself to America as the guy who thinks ramps for ducklings are “government waste.”
A photo of the ramp, located at the Capitol Reflecting Pool, was shared by the U.S. Capitol Twitter account:
Capitol Reflecting Pool has been a popular attraction—for ducks +humans! NEW: 2 ramps to safely assist ducks in/out… https://t.co/ZuwBRySzRw— Architect of the Capitol (@Architect of the Capitol) 1494868724.0
Then, answering the question that no one asked—“Can you politicize the concept of ducklings walking up a ramp to take a bath?”—Rep. Walker weighed in with his commentary:
If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, it must be government waste. https://t.co/JKgabZ47O5— Rep. Mark Walker (@Rep. Mark Walker) 1494881798.0
Clearly, someone received their copy of Banal Wordplay for Politicians before tweeting.
Not to have one buzzkill rain on their parade (of ducks, no less!), the Capitol, not naming any names, shared a video showing the “wasteful” ramp in use.
Duckling update: Ramp in Use! https://t.co/34E6oJOkCF— Architect of the Capitol (@Architect of the Capitol) 1494963155.0
And the angels sang.
And Twitter went, predictably, batshit crazy over the whole thing.
@RepMarkWalker I for one am glad American tax dollars paid for you to get mad online about a duck ramp, Mark— Patrick Monahan (@Patrick Monahan) 1494968044.0
Imagine being this soulless prick. https://t.co/RG3CAEiGmK— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) 1494967644.0
@RepMarkWalker I'm confused, that looks like a really cheap way to offset the ecosystem disruption of the concrete structure.— Will Hertel (@Will Hertel) 1494904452.0
Those tweets represent the more general gripes. Criticisms were offered in an array of shapes and sizes, but many cited a more prominent and wasteful instance of government spending.
@RepMarkWalker Donald Trump has made 21 trips to the golf course in 16 weeks and this dumbass is talking about gove… https://t.co/ZQyRlHK1lj— Erick Fernandez (@Erick Fernandez) 1494969048.0
@darth Mar-A-Lago Trips: $3mil Flotus Security NYC: $1mil/day Duck Ramp: $30 Medicaid Cuts: $800 mil Somone good… https://t.co/Zj0Mkg424l— Jmart (@Jmart) 1494967811.0
$30 - lumber $40 - paint $120 - design $63,000,000 - Trump Golf Trips $200 - labour someone plz help me budget this… https://t.co/h16itDrnkl— Dan Editor YouTube (@Dan Editor YouTube) 1494969991.0
I’m not sure if those ducklings are classy or spectacular enough to be allowed entry to the wonderful, one of a kind Mar-a-Lago, but, regardless, the point stands: Leave the ducks and their ramp alone, sir.