Two Shop Workers Scare Off Would-Be Robber By Attacking Him With Sex Toys

One hapless criminal found out the hard way that if you try to rob a sex shop, there’s a good chance that even if you get away, you’re going to make some headlines.

An attempted robbery in San Bernadino, California at the Lotions and Lace sex shop was thwarted when two female employees managed to scare off the armed perpetrator using...yup.

Dildos.

That’s right. Not just one. But several.

(It’s probably better if you just watch the clip.)

If you’re wondering why they weren’t more taken aback by the fact that a man was pointing a gun at them, one of the workers, “Amy,” explains to ABC7, "I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us. But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don't have time for this."

Amy’s got a sex shop to run. Just because there are vibrators and lotions everywhere doesn’t mean Lotions and Lace isn’t faced with the same problems that plague thousands of other small businesses.

As for why she made the leap from “unphased” to “angrily throwing dildos at a robber with a gun,” she says, “I was just really irritated."

Well then.

If you’re thinking either about robbing a sex store or carrying a dildo on you for self-defense, Amy’s got some info to share: "They do got some weight on them if they're hit hard enough."

The poor sap who ran out of the store can testify to exactly how much weight they “do got.”

Be careful out there, folks.