Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean we completely lose our sense of competition altogether. So whether there’s a certain gift you’re just dying to have or if you don’t care, but just want to make sure that yours is better than everyone else’s, you can own the “competition” at your white elephant gift exchange by leveraging some simple game theory principles.
Here are the steps as laid out by Ben Casselman at the statistics-focused site FiveThirtyEight:
As each gift is opened, mentally assign it a value (perhaps a dollar value or a 1-to-5 ranking);
When it’s your turn, average the value of all the opened gifts (whether or not they’re available for stealing);
If there is a stealable gift “worth” at least as much as the average, steal it! Otherwise, open a gift. (Depending on the rules you’re playing by, not every gift might be available for stealing.)
This might seem like pretty basic stuff, but what it does is force you to treat each transaction individually and incrementally. You don’t need to trade for the gift you want. You just need to work your way towards that gift by continuously trading up. By “trading up,” we mean getting a gift that’s more desirable to the group at large, not just to you. So if you’ve already got a FitBit, that shouldn’t dissuade you from trading your Desperate Housewives tell-all book for the FitBit.
If it helps, you can actually assign arbitrary cash values to the gifts as well, though if you bust out a notepad and calculator, you might get some funky looks from the office party-planning comittee.
Oh, and if all the gifts are terrible (which they will be) you can always just relax, make fun of all the gifts being swapped, and let your competitive juices simmer down because, hey...holidays.
But we all know that won’t happen, so learn your game theory.
Just remember that no matter how clever you think you are, there’s always someone trying to be quicker (or at least way more macabre):
Parents of young children get more time with them if they work from home.Photo credit: Canva
Juicy subject matter
Giphy from The Blacklist.
We could start a rumor.
Grieving couple comforting each other
This response to someone grieving a friend might be the best internet comment ever
When someone is hit with the sudden loss of a friend or loved one, words rarely feel like enough. Yet, more than a decade ago, a wise Redditor named GSnow shared thoughts so profound they still bring comfort to grieving hearts today.
Originally posted around 2011, the now-famous reply was rediscovered when Upvoted, an official Reddit publication, featured it again to remind everyone of its enduring truth. It began as a simple plea for help: “My friend just died. I don't know what to do.”
What followed was a piece of writing that many consider one of the internet’s best comments of all time. It remains shared across social media, grief forums, and personal messages to this day because its honesty and metaphor speak to the raw reality of loss and the slow, irregular path toward healing.
Below is GSnow’s full reply, unchanged, in all its gentle, wave-crashing beauty:
Why this advice still matters
Mental health professionals and grief counselors often describe bereavement in stages or phases, but GSnow’s “wave theory” gives an image more relatable for many. Rather than a linear process, grief surges and retreats—sometimes triggered by a song, a place, or a simple morning cup of coffee.
In recent years, this metaphor has found renewed relevance. Communities on Reddit, TikTok, and grief support groups frequently reshare it to help explain the unpredictable nature of mourning.
Many readers say this analogy helps them feel less alone, giving them permission to ride each wave of grief rather than fight it.
Finding comfort in shared wisdom
Since this comment first surfaced, countless people have posted their own stories underneath it, thanking GSnow and passing the words to others facing fresh heartbreak. It’s proof that sometimes, the internet can feel like a global support group—strangers linked by shared loss and hope.
For those searching for more support today, organizations like The Dougy Center, GriefShare, and local bereavement groups offer compassionate resources. If you or someone you know is struggling with intense grief, please reach out to mental health professionals who can help navigate these deep waters.
When grief comes crashing like the ocean, remember these words—and hang on. There is life between the waves.
This article originally appeared four years ago.