There is a furniture speed record, and it's been taken by a dinner table traveling at 113.8 miles per hour.
File this under pointless-but-cool: Perry Watkins, a sales director from Wingrave, England, recently won the world's fastest furniture speed record with a dining table mounted on a car.
According to Popular Science, the previous record holder, a sofa, had traveled at 92 miles per hour. Watkins, who "already held the records for building both the world's smallest and lowest street-legal cars," chose a dining table for his attempt "because he thought it would be easier to mount on a small, fast car."
Traveling at 113.8 miles per hour, the dining table car (called "Fast Food") took the record easily, but, says Popular Science, "it was the trimmings that really wowed onlookers."
Watkins bolted real dishware to the table, as well as a variety of authentic-looking foods, including gravy made of fiberglass resin. [...] The chicken is quasi-functional: Before kicking in, the nitrous systems purges excess air through a tube leading to the fake fowl. 'A six-foot plume of white smoke comes out of the chicken's backside,' Watkins says.