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These Can Be Yours

The consumer in you wants these products.

Toy X-Ray Machinehomeland securityBarring some sort of drastic change in either geopolitics or airport security, our children will grow up in a world filled with X-ray apparatus. As these machines can be scary, we should try to acclimate children early, if we want them to be able to jet set stress-free. With this toy X-ray machine, young travelers can learn to enjoy having their belongings scanned for potential security threats, all in the comfort of their own homes. Please remove your shoes before use.$30,

Nose CupsnoveltySome people, unhappy with their appearance, pay doctors to surgically alter the size and shape of their noses. Should you be at a party and suddenly start feeling like this might be a viable option, try one of these Nose Cups instead. All you have to do is hold the cup up to your face all night, and people will think you have the nose of your dreams. You just won't be able to talk, and will appear to be perpetually thirsty.$10 / 24 cups,
BeardwarefuzzyThere is some confusion about whether this item serves to keep an existing beard warm or if it's used to keep the face warm in lieu of an actual beard-a sort of beard-wig, if you will. Either way, it's a must-have for any member of the bearded or want-to-be bearded set.$53,
Tie WalletsreuseNarwhal has the "reuse" part of "reduce, reuse, and recycle" down. It takes snappy old neckties and makes them into snappy new wallets (and iPod covers and bracelets). Each item is-of course-handcrafted and one of a kind. Even if you're not the tie-wearing type, you can still, if you find yourself at a formal event, casually place your wallet on your neck and hope you fool everyone.from $18,
Minox DCC Leica M3cuteIt looks just like a Leica, but it's tiny, and it's digital. So, if size and film were what was keeping you from buying that Leica, your problems have been solved. And if price was the problem, this five-megapixel camera will be good for you as well, as it retails for far less than an actual Leica.$350,
Arkitip Issue 44retroArkitip, a Los Angeles art magazine, felt that glossy pages weren't good enough. Its latest issue-number 44-comes complete with an old-fashioned viewfinder, through which you can look at many of the prints from the issue. It's like a really primitive Flickr slide show, with retro appeal.$45,
Casio G5500a little nerdyWhile a fascination with digital watches may seem a thing of the past, you can bring them back in style with these new colorful timepieces. The best part is, digital isn't the only technology jammed into these watches: they're solar-powered, but they store energy in a battery so that they can be used inside and at night.$120,
Holy WaterblasphemyVampires are dangerous-always waiting to suck your blood. So arm yourself with these bottles of water, blessed by a wide range of holy people-from priests to rabbis to lamas. The real purpose of the water is not vampire defense, because vampires do not exist. Rather, the water is meant to promote "goodness in all things." But we're keeping it around for the vampires, just in case.$1.50/ bottle,

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