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These Can Be Yours

The consumer in you wants these products.

Lung Ashtrayironic design itemsSure, your friends who smoke are much cooler than you. But wait until you bring out your porcelain lung ashtray to remind them exactly where that smoke is going. Who's cool now?$107, findingcheska.com
Portable BBQawesomeEscape from the daily grind by replacing your briefcase with a portable grill. Small, lightweight, and easy to carry, this grill folds out to make a 1.5-square-foot cooking surface (if that's too much bulk, a smaller size is also available). It's perfect for all your emergency grilling needs.$50, iwantoneofthose.com
MaptotecartographyThese cotton tote bags are printed with simple maps of different neighborhoods in six U.S. cities (where young, hip people who use tote bags congregate). Traveling to Brooklyn? Buy one ahead of time and study up to make sure you know your Carroll Gardens from your Cobble Hill.$12, maptote.com
Smiley PerfumeodorsBased on aromatherapy research, Smiley perfume is infused with scents containing phenylethylamine and theobromine, chemicals that boost euphoria and reduce stress. Wearing this perfume will make you happy-literally.$48, happytherapy.com
Political Pet Toyspet productsIf you've ever wanted to set your dog on Michael Moore, now is your chance. Political Pet Toys offers a range of chew toys-from President Bush to Hillary Clinton-so you can express your views through your dog's vicious teeth.$13, politicalpettoys.com
Geo Postcardsinformation sharingA modern alternative to a kitschy postcard with "Cleveland" splashed across the front, Geography and Information post cards are designed to be filled in with information about your current location, from average rainfall to population density. Think how pleased your friends will be to hear about your vacation and the kind of pollution you found there.$6, geoandinfo.com
GreenDimesgreat ideasWhoever produces all the junk mail that fills your mailbox is wasting a lot of trees and water just to make a useless catalogue that goes straight into the recycling bin (or worse, the trash can). For $36 a year (a dime a day), GreenDimes will prevent unwanted junk mail from reaching your door by removing your name from junk mailing lists (a task beyond the abilities of most mortals). And just to make sure it is getting the job done, GreenDimes will plant a tree when you subscribe.$36/year, greendimes.com

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