Trump Spokesman Wages 7-Year-War Against Ice Cream

If you watched Sean Spicer’s first appearance as White House Press Secretary you may have wondered how this guy ever got the job. Here he was in his very first day on the job repeatedly lying about inauguration attendance numbers and basically threatening the media for not covering President Trump the way he thinks they should.

It turns out, everything you need to know about Spicer can be explained through Dippin’ Dots.

The self-proclaimed “Ice Cream of The Future,” is a unique take on traditional ice cream that was a big hit in the 80’s before slipping into the more niche audience it enjoys today. It’s pretty harmless – you either like it or you don’t. And at the end of the day, it’s ice cream. Chill.

But for Sean Spicer it’s an epic, take no prisoners battle that he’s personally waged for five years. The A.V. Club did some deep digging through Spicer’s Twitter account and found that he’s repeatedly Tweeted his distaste for the creamy dessert pebbles, starting back in April 2010, when he first declared:

Who knows what triggered Spicer, but the reaction was visceral.

He took two more shots at the ice cream manufacturer that year before going dark to re-think his strategy:

Finally, in late 2015, Spicer, now spokesman for the Republican Party, returned with a vengeance. Apparently, he had been eating Dippin’ Dots again and he was not impressed:

After the story went viral, Dippin’ Dots CEO Scott Fischer had no choice but to respond, acknowledging the alternative facts flubbing elephant in the room. Writing on his company’s site, Fischer offered a truce:

“We’ve enjoyed double-digit growth in sales for the past three years. That means we’re creating jobs and opportunities. We hear that's on your agenda too. We can even afford to treat the White House and press corps to an ice cream social. What do you say? We’ll make sure there’s plenty of all your favorite flavors.”

But you do not melt Sean Spicer’s heart like a scoop of red, white and blue Dippin’ Dots. No, winter has come and he will not be moved. Rather than take them up on the offer, Spicer fired back with a maybe, just maybe, drunk Tweet about priorities: