Illustrator Yao Xiao thinks people are overly apologetic when they should be thankful instead. “A few friends of mine would always say ‘thank you for hanging out with me’ and I couldn’t figure out why it was so nice to hear it,” she told A Plus. “When I thanked people, it brought to light the fact that we just did something together—and that realization made us both happier.”

An apology is a show of humility by one, but a well-placed “thank you” uplifts everyone. “To me it is not about correcting behavior,” Xiao says. “It is about taking an extra step when you are capable. I know that when I say ‘sorry I’m taking up so much of your time,’ I just want to hear someone say ‘it’s okay, and I like spending time with you.’ It comes from the same place, and people understand it.”

Cartoons courtesy of Instagram