Culture

A Valentine's Day Gift Guide For Your Woke Significant Other

by Andre Grant

February 14, 2017

Billionaire real-estate magnate Donald Trump is now our president. It’s hardly been a month since his inauguration, and yet he’s already begun tearing at the fabric of democracy through executive actions and firing everyone who doesn’t agree with him. We’re all onto him, though. We’re studying up. We the people are organizing resistance. Because of this, you are what the internet would call, “woke.”

That moniker, bestowed upon you by friends and lovers, can be a gift and a curse. It means you look at people quizzically at parties when they begin to discuss race relations, police violence, and foreign policy. You’re constantly questioning the information you’re given—especially information about power structures and how to tear them down. In this real-life version of the zombie apocalypse, you’re right there on the front lines. But just because you’ve taken it upon yourself to save democracy and educate the masses, doesn’t mean you don’t need a little love too.

You need something a little different than heart-shaped candy and flowers. So this Valentine’s day gift guide is just for you and the ones who really love you.

A secret bunker

The entrance to your brand new luxury bunker.

Nothing says love like a converted missile silo. In fact, there are companies (like 20th Century Castles, LLC) that will do all the renovations for you.

Edward Peden and his wife Dianna Ricke-Peden have been working on dreamy nuclear fallout shelters like the one you’ll be purchasing since 1995, so they’re more than capable of finding you and your woke loved one your very own underground survival base. The super-rich are already freaking out, so this may be a better investment than you think.

A tote bag with a message

The stop telling women to smile tote bag

For the woman in your life that is over gender binaries and is sick and tired of having to deal with the nonsensical boxes patriarchy places them in, there’s this tote from artist Tatyana Fazlalizadeh. Street harassment is endemic in patriarchal societies like ours, and it’s debilitating. So as you’re whispering sweet nothings into your partner’s ear, why not give them a gift that can bluntly tell the men who might catcall them to stop telling them to smile

Organic Wines

Organic wines are intensely vetted.

If you’re looking for ethics from your wine, then Natura may the company for you. Their agricultural practices are based on principles of promoting biodiversity and purity in their wines. They claim to cultivate grapes of only the highest quality, resulting in a richer, denser wine-drinking experience. Natura has vegan varietals, as well.

But they’ve also got competition. The USDA’s organic certification program is intense. Wines marked certified must have naturally occurring sulfites under 100ppm, and any products used in the wine, like yeast, must also be certified organic. Brands like Lapostolle, Hall Wines, and Domaine Carneros are also considered very good on the organic scale.

NAJA Lingerie

The co-owners of NAJA.

Lingerie has a diversity issue. Catalina Girald and Gina Rodriguez are setting out to change all that. Their lingerie is sustainable, ethically produced, and eye-catching. Not only that, but they also provide employment opportunities to disenfranchised women in Colombia through their Underwear For Hope program.

They also use a digital dying program that cuts their water loss significantly, and they use fabrics made from recycled plastic bottles in some of their pieces.

“Protest” by Indira Cesarine

"Protest" by feminist painter Indira Cesarine

The Women’s March on Washington and its sister marches galvanized the entire nation to peaceful protest. The protests took the strength and pride of women all over the world and boiled it down into action. As such, it’s become the most successful single-day protest in American history. 

How about giving the one you love something to remember it by? Indira Cesarine’s “Protest” may be pricey, but in remembering what could be a watershed moment in American history, it could be worth every penny to the one you love. 

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A Valentine's Day Gift Guide For Your Woke Significant Other