We all have those clothing items that turn into staples over the years.
Maybe it’s that oversized college sweatshirt or a t-shirt you’ve had for a decade that you just can’t let go of—some pieces just feel like you every time you wear them.
Last year, an Imgur user shared a photo of their mom’s favorite summer dress, which she’s worn for years. At first, it looks like a typical Hawaiian-printed garment, but if you look closely…
via Imgur | The summer dress.
Can you see the NSFW pattern among the hibiscus print?
If you’re still having trouble, look a little harder:
via Imgur | The hidden risky pose on a summer dress.
Yep, there are silhouettes of naked women all over the dress.
I have so many questions. How did nobody notice this for so long? Who the heck is this dress even made for? What horny dude got away with this design?!
Yes, on one hand, this pattern is just another reminder of how women are sexualized at every turn— even in contexts that make no sense. But, on the other hand, the naked ladies do give this dress a little extra pizazz.
Would you rock this dress, or donate it to Goodwill?
None of that was true yet when Jeanean Thomas (@JeaneanThomas) took her 6-year-old daughter Peyton to a skate park in Cambridge, Ontario, in October of 2015. But the moment that happened that afternoon has been quietly circulating the internet ever since, and it keeps finding new audiences because the thing it’s really about hasn’t changed at all.
Thomas, a firefighter, had spent months convincing Peyton that skateboarding wasn’t just for boys. “She’d only ever seen boys skateboard so she just assumed that it was a boy sport,” Thomas told Today. When they finally arrived at the park, her resolve nearly broke. It was full of teenage boys, smoking and swearing. Peyton wanted to turn around immediately.
Thomas did too, if she’s being honest. “I secretly wanted to go too,” she later wrote, “because I didn’t want to have to put on my mom voice and exchange words with you. I also didn’t want my daughter to feel like she had to be scared of anyone, or that she wasn’t entitled to that skate park just as much as you were.”
So they stayed. Peyton slipped onto the board and started falling. And then one of the boys skated over.
“I heard you say, ‘Your feet are all wrong. Can I help you?’” Thomas wrote in a letter she posted to X that night, addressed to the teenager she never got to thank in person. “You proceeded to spend almost an hour with my daughter showing her how to balance and steer and she listened to you. I even heard you tell her to stay away from the rails so that she wouldn’t get hurt.”
A young woman on roller skates flies off the ramp. Photo Credit: Canva
His friends made fun of him for it. He kept going anyway.
“I want you to know that I am proud that you are part of my community and I want to thank you for being kind to my daughter,” Thomas wrote. “She left with a sense of pride and with the confidence that she can do anything, because of you.”
The letter went viral almost immediately. It later emerged, through reporting by the Cambridge Times, that the young man wasn’t a teenager at all. His name was Ryan Carney, a 20-year-old skate coach who worked at an indoor park in nearby Kitchener. He was baffled by the attention. “If I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, and I was in a place that could be intimidating at that age, I’d want someone to help me,” he told CBC News. “That’s all I did.”
What amazes me is skaters gamers and any kind of "boys" type thing world of war craft Airsoft or paintballing it's automatically assumed as we're all going to tell women or girls to leave it 1 we don't care if you want to come to these places in fact it's opposite
The culture Peyton stepped into that afternoon was one that had actively excluded girls for decades. What Carney did, without thinking much of it, was exactly the kind of thing that changes a kid’s relationship to a sport before she’s old enough to know she was supposed to be excluded from it. The 800% participation increase didn’t come from nowhere. It came from moments like this one, scaled up, repeated, normalized.
“I just seen a little girl struggling to enjoy her time there,” Carney said. “I wanted to see her leaving wanting to skateboard again.”
Getting information through quality conversation can be enjoyable or a struggle. Figuring out solutions and fielding valuable expert opinions can be difficult to discern when the person you’re talking to (or debating with) seems suspect. Fortunately, a neuroscientist online has laid out what to look out for to see if your conversation partner is actually intellectual or just talking out of their…well, you know.
Neuroscientist turned musician/comedian Alex Riordan discussed how to spot pseudo-intellectuals and how they differentiate themselves from actual intellectuals. For Riordan, who spends ample time with his colleagues at Princeton University as well as his degree-less intellectual friends (because you don’t need to go to college to be intelligent), he’s identified three signs that helped him separate the fake-it-til-you-make-its from actually thoughtful individuals.
Riordan mentions that pseudo-intellectuals will often go out of their way to use colorful rhetoric and terms to try to talk past you and get you to talk past them. To expand on Riordan’s point, the purpose is a means to bait you into an argument by cutting you off before fully explaining your point or trying to move the conversation past your points to focus in on their own point. They may use tactics such as whataboutism, a tactic that asks, “But what about ______?” to shift the focus of the conversation from one issue to another in order to distract or deflect from initial point.
They aim to ‘win,’ not aim to understand
The folks that aim to appear smarter than they truly are don’t have any interest in coming to an understanding with their conversation. They want to win. This is common in what Riordan calls “debate bro tactics.”. Being right isn’t as important as appearing right, regardless of any logical holes or pushback that they cannot rationally defend.
Riordan briefly mentions the Dunning-Kruger effect as a way to spot if someone is talking nonsense. The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people overestimate their knowledge and/or abilities in a specific area. When they encounter a new subject, they immediately think they have a complete grasp of it and lack the self awareness to see their own limitations. Once they read an article by an actual expert that conflicts with their understanding, they reject it and assume they’re right despite their lack of education, skills, or actual knowledge.
Why smart people think they’re not smart ? The Dunning-Kruger effect is real. The more you know, the more you realise how much you don’t know – and it can make you feel like you’re falling behind, even when you’re not. Meanwhile, those with less knowledge often feel more confident because they’re unaware of what they’re missing. Classic case of small fish, big pond vs big fish, tiny puddle ? Ever felt this way? Let me know in the comments ?
If a person in a conversation demonstrates those behaviors, you may want to politely shut it down. However, even if with a person who knows what they’re talking about, conversations can get heated and people can devolve into these pseudo-intellectual behaviors. Fortunately, Riordan shared one great way he and his colleagues keep the conversation focused on understanding and respect.
Ask clarifying questions
Asking clarifying questions is a habit Riordan and his colleagues and friends practice to curb any pseudo-intellectualism and arguments that might arise from it. They do so because asking for clarification goes against all of the previously mentioned tactics of fake know-it-alls. It doesn’t claim to know everything, it’s aimed for understanding rather than “winning,” and acknowledges that you may not know everything about the subject at hand.
Asking clarifying questions, especially the right ones, shows your conversation partner that you’re curious about them and their thoughts, which encourages them to feel more connected with you. If you disagree with a person’s point and respond with a clarifying question it allows you to see where they’re coming from, find common ground, or learn something you hadn’t considered before. In some cases, answering clarifying questions helps your conversation partner to notice errors or discrepancies in their own thinking that may change their conclusions to line up with yours.
Some examples of clarifying questions include:
– What did you mean about ____?
– Could you further elaborate on that?
– I heard you say ____, am I interpreting that correctly?
– Are there specifics about ____?
– Can you break that down into detail for me?
Whether you’re conversing about politics, the universe, or what the best pizza topping is, leading with curiosity can ensure that everyone is not only enjoying the conversation, but are learning legitimate truths as well.
It can be hard to commit to the routines of exercise, housekeeping, and the other to-dos of your day-to-day life, but for many people the hardest part is the “household admin work.” This is the boring, drudging, and often bureaucratic tasks of answering emails, paying bills online, cancelling subscriptions, making appointments, etc. But what if you could make it a party?
This concept has led to a growing trend called “Admin Nights” in which people gather their friends together for snacks, drinks, and hanging out while working on administrative household tasks. Admin Nights have quickly turned the chore of household admin work into a weekly or monthly chill hangout with friends.
Admin Nights have other benefits aside from making digital decluttering more enjoyable, such as forging closer bonds with your friends.
“I love this trend because most of us wish we had more time to spend with friends, so turning administrative tasks into an opportunity to do something we long to do is a great life hack,” licensed therapist Anindita Bhaumik tells GOOD. “An admin night is a great idea for a low-cost friend hang. You can catch up with each other while checking tasks off your list.”
“It will likely spur on important updates that friends might not get around to sharing, such as the health concerns behind the appointment they’re making, how work is going, or how they’re doing financially. This can be an organic way to practice authenticity with one another and support each other,” Bhaumik added.
With the understanding you’ll need to establish some ground rules to stay on task, Admin Nights could make you more efficient in your mundane administrative tasks. Bhaumik and others state that Admin Nights are a form of “body doubling” which could ensure that you get everything done with more focus. Body doubling is a psychological hack in which most people tend to stay on task when someone else is in the same room as them, even if they don’t interact with one another. It’s partially why many work offices have open floor plans.
“The beautiful thing about body doubling is it works both ways,” said Bhaumik. “One person isn’t responsible for the other; rather, both (or the group) benefit from working on tasks together. This can even be accomplished virtually, by holding admin nights on a video call, for example.”
monthly admin date NEW YEAR edition ✨ using my NEW Admin Date Planner ✨ we set goals for the year and a support structure to help us reach those goals. 2026 is gonna be a good year ! also bagels are from Sincerely Bagel which is the best bagel I’ve had in PDX to date. I get the kimchi cheddar with scallion cream cheese ? . . . #TikTokCreatorSearchInsightsIncentive
If you want to try to host a successful Admin Night, it’s fortunately pretty simple. Shoot out texts or emails to friends you think would like this concept, figure out a date, go simple with snacks or ordering a pizza, and make sure your home has plenty of couches, blankets, etc. to keep the vibe comfy. Depending on your friend group and how they work, you may want to investigate various “Chill Music to Study To” playlists to have on while you all concentrate on your tasks.
Admin Nights could just change the game and turn boring or anxiety-ridden work into the most fun and relaxing day of your week.
