Women reveal 10 reasons why they choose to remain single

Choosing a partner to grow old with is like a social norm but many women are opting to skip relationships and are focusing on building their lives.

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Neha B.

Aug 27, 2024

By Neha B.

August 27, 2024

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Photo credit: Photo by Keira Burton; Right: Photo by Vlada Karpovich – Cover Image Source: Left: Pexels

Choosing to be with someone in a romantic relationship is solely a matter of how one feels about themselves and their life. Choosing a partner just because your parents like them, or just because it would look good to society, would be the wrong way to go ahead. Given all these factors, many women are opting to skip relationships altogether and instead focus on building their lives. In April 2022, Reddit user u/crypticweirdo9105 brought this matter to attention in a post in the r/AskWomen group, asking women why they chose to remain single and how their experience has been. Comments followed from hundreds of women who opened up about their feelings and struggles of being single.

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Andra Furtado

Being single is a struggle, yes even today. Looking at the rising number of powerful women, it might seem that the world has shifted much in terms of its patriarchal thinking. However, deep within the innards of society, the reality remains as bad as it has always been. When a woman chooses to stay single, she is seen as someone undeserving of any love and affection. But these women are constantly defying the odds by prioritizing their own lives over the life of someone who might dictate what they should do and what they shouldn’t. Here is a list of the top ten reasons why women choose to remain single:

1. Dating apps are overwhelming

“I’m “actively” choosing to be single because I don’t want to go on dating apps. I tried them in the past and they were so overwhelming. My anxiety went through the roof trying to juggle conversations and dodging “creepy” messages.” – u/doodlebug365

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Olly

2. Bad experience with previous relationships

“I let myself love someone that didn’t love me back the way they should. My life has been ok but really depressing, not feeling like there is something to live for but I know there is I know it will take time.” – u/desperate9832 “Three years ago, my boyfriend and I broke up and it nearly killed me. I took about 6 months to heal and started dating again. The next relationship didn’t work out, and I realized I liked being by myself. I don’t know that I’ll ever remarry or date again. If I do, the standards are really high. I’m very content in my life and in myself and I don’t want to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone.” – u/krlhan11

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3. Haven’t found the perfect match

“I don’t mind being single. It’s not the end of the world. I like my peace and quiet. But I will always be open to having that special someone in my life. I just haven’t found that person yet.” – u/joeymami2015 “I wanted to be whole as a person. I don’t want to depend my happiness on someone else. I don’t want to rush into relationships just for the sake I’m not alone. When I’ve found the person that I want to get vulnerable with; hopefully he will just add up in my life and world.” – u/sakispice “The thing is that I have become very comfortable being with myself, I feel whole. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get lonely. But unless I find someone that will add to my life and make my comfort even more comfortable, I don’t see a point. I never liked the idea of finding a person that completes you, metaphorically speaking princess looking for a prince. I am a queen looking for a king lol.” – u/sparkletempt

Representative Image Source: Pexels | KD Bishop Photography

4. Can’t trust men

“I have a lot of relationship and dating trauma I have to work through before I begin the process of ever trusting a man intimately again.” – u/pixelpixxy “The reason is the current state/condition/attitude of men. They want a traditional dynamic but with modern advantages. So they want a subservient woman who will do all the household things and basically be their mom, and still hold down a full time job and be the adult in the relationship. It’s much more peaceful and less frustrating being single.” – u/laminatedbean

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5. Freedom and peace without worry

“Life is peaceful and I don’t get told sweet chocolate-covered lies.” – u/lisavela “I get to focus on myself without the constant worry of not being enough for somebody or being too much. peaceful.” – u/lace_coffin

6. Focused on career goals

“I was in an abusive relationship for 19 years. It did much damage that I’m trying to heal from but more than anything, it held me back from achieving my professional goals. Now that I’m free, I’m focused on my goals and I won’t be distracted until I’m done.” – u/infactinfarctinfart

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Moose Photos

7. Independence is too sweet to share

“I never consciously made that decision – I’m just too selfish to be willing to adapt to being in that kind of relationship.” – u/mindingmine “It’s worth it to be on my own because I am finally giving my love to the one person that deserves it the most: me.” – u/crochetandkittens

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8. Self-love is a priority

“Since I decided to be single I have achieved so many goals, my career has launched and I bought my first house on my own! From now on I am very careful about who I allow in my life, I don’t settle for less because I don’t need to. Being emotionally and financially independent is the most important thing in life, for women and men. Partnerships are important but taking care of yourself first should always be a priority.” – u/immediate_expert6742

Representative Image Source: Pexels | NGQAH 83

9. Relationships are messy and superficial

“Relationships seem to be so superficial now, no deep connection and love anymore.” – u/bluedelights “The idea of a relationship still feels like giving someone control over my life. And I can’t do that. Plus, I’ve been having fun just doing what I want, and participating in the hook-up scene.” – u/clutterc0re

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10. Life is great without anyone

“I’d like to know if I have a reason that I just haven’t discovered yet. To me, I just don’t feel any desire to seek anyone out. No feelings or fear of loneliness giving that push I guess. Life is great. I see my friends when I do crave some interaction. Having my dog around is always joyful too.” – u/important_coconut_39 “I’m just a lot happier this way in general. I’ve noticed I’m a lot more creative when I’m not in a relationship and I find it fun.” – u/bigbootyomoletlover “I truly enjoy my single life!” – u/meskeptical

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Photo credit: Focus Pixel Art/Moment via Getty Images – At times, feeling personally grateful to someone can feel like a big ask – but there are other forms of gratitude.

Ethics, Ideas

How to be grateful to someone – even when you really don’t want to

A change in perspective can make gratitude easier.

Good Partner

7/17/2026

Mark Schroeder

There are few greater feelings than the sense of heartfelt gratitude to another human being who has done you a solid. Sincere thanks and reciprocation are part of the glue that binds us in human relationships.

But sometimes you’re just not feeling it. You know that you have benefited from what someone has done for you, but you don’t really feel grateful to them for doing it. Most teenagers go through this period with their parents. Maybe you take your partner or colleague for granted.

For me, 14 years ago, it was my mother-in-law. She had upended her life to move from South Dakota to California to live with my wife and me to assist with childcare after our daughter was born; no other source of childcare fit with our demanding work schedules and my commute. She made a huge sacrifice that transformed our lives, but there were moments when I really struggled to feel grateful.

Since that time, I’ve come to devote much of my research as a philosopher to studying how the way that we interpret each other as people shapes our relationships. That work has helped me to understand why I struggled to be grateful – and taught me a little bit about how to do better.

Personal gratitude

I’ve found that the hardest part of feeling grateful to someone is the “to” part. It is one thing to be impersonally grateful that something happened and another thing to be personally grateful to someone for doing it. These are not the same.

Both forms of gratitude require seeing something as a benefit. And they both require a humble recognition of how easily things could have been otherwise. When the rain ends a drought, an atheist can feel grateful that the tomatoes will survive. But the atheist isn’t grateful “to” anyone for the rain.

Priests offer prayers to Varuna, the Hindu god of rain, as they stand in the Osman Sagar on the outskirts of Hyderabad, India, on July 16, 2013. AP Photo/Mahesh Kumar A

Personal gratitude requires more than impersonal gratitude. It is an example of what the philosopher Peter Strawson calls a “participant” attitude: an attitude that we have toward people, but not toward things. And a large theme in my work is that participant attitudes such as gratitude involve giving someone credit for what the attitude responds to.

But which benefits we give people credit for is complicated. As philosophers such as Tony Manela have argued, actions motivated primarily by money, self-interest or insecurity don’t merit personal gratitude, even when they benefit you. Actions motivated by love, generosity or concern, on the other hand – or other “pro-social” motives – do.

Sometimes people fail to feel gratitude because they take someone for granted, not noticing how easily they could have done otherwise. This wasn’t my problem with my mother-in-law. It was obvious that she didn’t have to move across the country to live with us.

But it was hard to avoid noticing that she had always wanted to live in California. Sometimes it is hard to feel grateful because of how we interpret someone’s motives. They could have done otherwise, but we don’t think their action was really “about us.”

Bad motives are easy to find

Sometimes ungenerous motives can help people to be generous. Your child’s kindergarten teacher isn’t a volunteer. They may be a naturally generous person – but still, they probably wouldn’t be working with your child on spelling, arithmetic and handling adversity if they weren’t getting a paycheck.

It’s still appropriate to be grateful to them. Their financial incentive to show up for work enables their generosity, rather than competing with it.

Your child’s teacher might be generous, but their job enables them to act on that generosity every day. svetikd/E+ via Getty Images

Elementary school teachers are not alone. After all, people’s decisions are often driven by many factors: some that merit gratitude and others that don’t. So if you go looking for selfish motives, you are bound to find some.

Take your partner, for example. They do something that benefits you: buying you flowers, filling your tank with gas or finally taking their turn to wash the dishes. They are partly motivated by generosity, love or communal spirit. But, as in any close relationship, sometimes they may be hoping to get something out of it: reciprocation, maybe, or getting you off their back.

It matters which of these you interpret as their “true” motive: Seeing it one way opens you up to gratitude, while the other precludes it.

What are ‘true’ motives?

The distinction between someone’s “true” motive and the other motives that enable it looks like the distinction between causes and enabling conditions. For example, when you drop a wine glass, the fragility of the glass enables the drop to cause the break, but it isn’t itself a cause of the break – the drop is.

In the case of the falling glass, there’s a clear, objective answer to what caused the break and what merely enabled it. But I believe that relating to people is deeply different than understanding physical things.

The key question in whether to be grateful to someone isn’t about which motives count as “causes.” It is about which cause we need to bring into focus in order to see the other person more clearly for who they are.

See it their way

In other words, it’s at least partly a matter of perspective. If someone does you a favor, but you know they’re hoping for something in return, you can see that as their “true” motive. But you don’t have to see it that way. Instead, you could see that motive as the condition they need for their generosity to thrive.

Shifting perspectives isn’t easy. When you’re doubting someone’s motives, their lack of generosity can feel obvious. But it helps to remember that people tend to believe they’re acting generously. If you want to respond with gratitude, try seeing them as they see themselves.

What if that doesn’t work?

Well, the next best thing to being grateful to someone is being grateful for them. Starting there is a good way to remind yourself of why you value this relations

This article originally appeared on The Conversation. You can read it here.

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Photo credit: Canva – Uncomfortable man gets questions women often face during a job interview.

Ideas, Impact

Men were stunned when asked the same types of career questions women regularly face

Questions many women recognize instantly.

Mark Wales

5/28/2026

“How much do you think your looks helped you get promoted to your position?” Unfortunately for many women, this isn’t a shocking question. Interviews, performance reviews, and typical professional interactions can reveal a double standard and workplace bias.

In a social-experiment-style reel by lifestyle creator @bol.lifestyle, these questions were instead asked of men. Their discomfort and disbelief reveal why the standards women face regarding credibility are impossible to ignore.

An experiment to reveal a double standard

In the video, men are placed in an interview-style setup and asked a series of questions. Hearing these skewed questions for the first time, their expressions shift quickly from curious to confused and uncomfortable.

Host: Have you ever been asked to just smile and look pretty or smile and say nothing in a meeting with a customer?

One man appears somewhat shocked and uncomfortable. He quickly responds, almost dismissive at even being asked the question, “No.”

Host: Do you think that your looks helped you getting promoted or moving up to your current position?

Another man reflects and appears unable to answer the question.

Host: Looking so good. By the way, I do love the shoes. Are these designer or your particular brand that you really like?

A third man awkwardly smiles and vents some air, almost as if the ridiculous question doesn’t feel fitting at all. He doesn’t answer.

Host: Do your hormones sometimes get in the way?

A fourth man responds, “Hormones?” He awkwardly laughs and adds, “I don’t, I don’t know.”

Host: Do you sometimes wonder whether you’ve been chosen for this position because you’re a man?

Man 2 responds definitively, “No, not because I was a man.”

Host: How do you handle in your job being assertive without being perceived as aggressive or bitchy?

Man 1 tilts his head back and reflects on the question. “That’s uh, that’s a question that I find it very hard to relate to.” He then adds, “Because it’s not a situation I’ve been in.”

Many microphones are held in front of a man.
Photo credit Canva

Real questions women face

After this first series of questions, the video presents titles claiming: These were real questions asked to our female leaders throughout their careers.

The host goes on to ask the men how they feel about this particular line of questioning. Their response is predictable.

“It really, really, really feels uncomfortable. And I also feel it in my body,” said Man 3.

“When hearing these things still happen, it makes me also feel that, hey, maybe I am more privileged than I thought I was,” added Man 1.

At the end of the interview, the men seemed a little upset and surprised by the double standard. They collectively hoped for change, and some suggested they themselves were responsible for helping things get better.

A man writes the word “change.”
Photo credit Canva

People advocate for change

People seemed to really respond to the video. With over 6,000 comments, there was a consensus confirming the experience and advocating for change.

“Men, our male privilege is real. How we use it is up to us, and hopefully we use it to protect and improve the experience of the women in our workplace.”

“If you have sons, please prepare them to improve the way the world treats women.”

“The man that felt it in his body… welcome to the life of a woman”

“Perhaps the greatest privilege is never having to notice your own privilege.”

“Oh my God. I have heard ALL of these questions. And more.”

“Well done. We have to show a different way and we can do it with grace! We have to do it different.”

“It’s not what we perceive , it’s what is .”

“THIS experiment should be undertaken in workplaces all over the world…”

Women and men working together.
Photo credit Canva

It’s not about finger-pointing

It can be easy to get lost in finger-pointing. Although at times the comments might feel like a pile-on, the success of the video lies in its simple setup. It takes a familiar experience and shifts the perspective so that people might hear it a little differently.

Certain assumptions or expectations can become so normalized that people, maybe mostly men, stop noticing them altogether. Is it possible for workplace conversations to be more thoughtful, fair, and aware than they have been or, in some circumstances, still are?

The intent of the video seemed less about provoking a fight. It demonstrated that some basic reflection and small shifts of awareness can lead to better experiences for everyone. There’s a familiar proverb that comes to mind: walk a mile in my shoes. These men seemed to gain some real perspective from the opportunity.

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Photo credit: WQAD News 8/YouTube – Lando sings.

Ideas, Voices

Young boy struggles through painful stutter until his singing videos change everything

“One kids courage to show up, speak up, and sing his voice free.”

Mark Wales

5/5/2026

A boy named Lando is gaining attention online after people started sharing and liking the two very different kinds of videos he creates. In one, he candidly speaks with a severe stutter. In the other, he sings smoothly, without the same pauses and repetitions that appear when he talks.

Perhaps it’s the dramatic contrast that has people liking and clicking. For whatever reason, as Lando shares on his website, #stutterfreelando, he’s created an awareness movement around stuttering “born from one kid’s courage to show up, speak up, and sing his voice free.”

The young entertainer is easy to like

Finding a young person navigating his speech difficulties so charismatically and confidently is admirable. He’s not wavering under the spotlight. He’s shining.

His family shares about their experience and the methods they’ve found helpful with his stutter on their website:

“This is a family journey. We’re one of millions of families around the world navigating stuttering to learn what works, what doesn’t, and figuring it out as we go. Some of what we share helps Lando. Some might not. We’re learning that every stutterer is different. No more hiding.”

Facing a severe stutter can be more complicated than practicing with a speech therapist.

“Traditional therapy hasn’t given us the breakthroughs we need. Therapists are trying. We are trying. But we refuse to sit quietly and hope it clicks. So we built this, a movement where our family shares what we’re learning out loud. Real strategies. Real techniques. Lando’s good days and the hard ones. Not a highlight reel. Not a gofund me. Real life.”

It feels good to join a winning team

After watching any of his videos, it’s clear why so many people keep coming back.

In one clip, Lando talks about reaching 50,000 followers on Instagram and an upcoming interview with a local news outlet. The message expressed with gratitude and happiness is simple, but it takes time for him to get there. That process draws people in.

“Congratulations on your followers, add one more”

“Great work buddy!”

“Ah Lando, I’m really enjoying your videos”

“That excitement is so cute! I love how supportive everyone has been!”

“Great job little man keep it going. You inspire a lot of people with the same problem.”

“thankyou for sharing, your super cool.”

Singing allows his words to come out in a continuous flow

The difference isn’t subtle. In speech, words can stall and be difficult to get out. In song, they move by the rhythm that reduces stops. These are some of the comments you can find on just one of his singing videos posted above:

“GOD BLESS YOU LANDO!!!!! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!!”

“The eyebrows at the end was fire.”

“You are an inspiration”

“Brilliant buddy”

“… sounding smooth.”

“Lando with the great voice!!!”

“Now … this kid has charisma!!!”

A courageous little showman

Lando’s videos stand out not just for singing or stuttering, but because both are available, openly shared, without one being hidden or edited out of view. There’s no attempt to turn it all into a single narrative of struggle or success. Instead, what people see is a boy using his voice as it is.

There is something instinctive about the way people rally around a kid like Lando. Sharing the hard parts and the moments that come more easily gives everyone a clear way to respond. Cheering him on, leaving a positive comment, or even just watching and listening allows each of us to take a small part in that effort.

It’s less about celebrating the win and more about recognizing the work and the courage to keep going. Lando is talking and singing it out loud.

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