Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral sciences at Duke University, is a leading expert on human motivation and behavior. In a recent study (animated in the awesome video below, via The RSA), Ariely found that rationalization makes it easier—and more likely—for humans to be dishonest while still considering themselves decent people.
Ariely found that the level of rationalization that humans consciously (or subconsciously) employ has a dramatic effect on how often they’ll cheat—i.e., the more we rationalize, the more we cheat, even on an economic level. Ariely argues that “good people doing good work who cheat a little bit” end up doing more harm than “bigger” cheaters, especially because there are so many of them. Are you one of “them”?
Check it out:
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If humans tend to be more dishonest when they’re rationalizing, then how do you reduce this tendency to rationalize? According to Ariely, religion has already figured it out: Moral incentives and reminders, along with the opportunity to ask for forgiveness, greatly increase a human’s desire to change his or her behavior.
But how do we apply this logic to larger structures, such as banks and corporations? Invite them to mass to confess? Have them over for Yom Kippur to recite the Al Chet? Ariely argues that motivation influences reality. We all have the capacity to be bad under the right circumstances, and especially in banking, “we’ve created the right situations for people to misbehave.” So because of that, we must change the incentive structures.
Or just be a GOOD person, man.
Parents of young children get more time with them if they work from home.Photo credit: Canva
Juicy subject matter
Giphy from The Blacklist.
We could start a rumor.
Grieving couple comforting each other
This response to someone grieving a friend might be the best internet comment ever
When someone is hit with the sudden loss of a friend or loved one, words rarely feel like enough. Yet, more than a decade ago, a wise Redditor named GSnow shared thoughts so profound they still bring comfort to grieving hearts today.
Originally posted around 2011, the now-famous reply was rediscovered when Upvoted, an official Reddit publication, featured it again to remind everyone of its enduring truth. It began as a simple plea for help: “My friend just died. I don't know what to do.”
What followed was a piece of writing that many consider one of the internet’s best comments of all time. It remains shared across social media, grief forums, and personal messages to this day because its honesty and metaphor speak to the raw reality of loss and the slow, irregular path toward healing.
Below is GSnow’s full reply, unchanged, in all its gentle, wave-crashing beauty:
Why this advice still matters
Mental health professionals and grief counselors often describe bereavement in stages or phases, but GSnow’s “wave theory” gives an image more relatable for many. Rather than a linear process, grief surges and retreats—sometimes triggered by a song, a place, or a simple morning cup of coffee.
In recent years, this metaphor has found renewed relevance. Communities on Reddit, TikTok, and grief support groups frequently reshare it to help explain the unpredictable nature of mourning.
Many readers say this analogy helps them feel less alone, giving them permission to ride each wave of grief rather than fight it.
Finding comfort in shared wisdom
Since this comment first surfaced, countless people have posted their own stories underneath it, thanking GSnow and passing the words to others facing fresh heartbreak. It’s proof that sometimes, the internet can feel like a global support group—strangers linked by shared loss and hope.
For those searching for more support today, organizations like The Dougy Center, GriefShare, and local bereavement groups offer compassionate resources. If you or someone you know is struggling with intense grief, please reach out to mental health professionals who can help navigate these deep waters.
When grief comes crashing like the ocean, remember these words—and hang on. There is life between the waves.
This article originally appeared four years ago.