GOOD

Minor League Team Announces ‘Alternative Facts Night,’ Pretending They Won Last Year’s Title

If the President can do it, the Erie SeaWolves can as well

 Penn Collins
03.14.17

Minor league baseball games are infamous for concocting all sorts of gimmicks to capture attention and increase attendance. Since nothing gets eyeballs right now like political coverage, the Erie SeaWolves have announced an “Alternative Facts Night” at their ballpark.

The evening’s activities will celebrate the Erie SeaWolves winning the 2016 Eastern League title—which they didn’t—and include a giveaway of 1,000 replica championship rings to the first fans admitted.

Here’s the tweet announcing the charmingly dishonest affair:

The team also prepared a lengthy press release that highlights the events of the evening and touches on what an alternative fact actually is, should anyone be confused.

A fact is defined “as a thing that is indisputably the case.” On Alternative Facts Night, the SeaWolves will celebrate facts that the team knows to be true—even if some media outlets may dispute them. The first 1,000 fans in attendance will receive a 2016 replica championship ring celebrating the SeaWolves’ 2016 Eastern League title. While it was a tough decision to decide which championship to honor, the team will celebrate its most recent one.

“Alternative Facts have become a part of popular culture in 2017,” SeaWolves Team President Greg Coleman said. “We plan to interject truthful hyperbole into all aspects of the game on this night from our giveaway to the between innings fun. It’s going to be huge.”

SeaWolves fans are tremendous fans, the best fans. No one has better fans, and a complete and total sellout is expected on this night. While the capacity of UPMC Park is 6,000, 1.2 million fans are expected to attend.

The SeaWolves’ opponent on this night may dispute the team’s 2016 title run. Very unfair. It is up to the fans, who are tremendous fans by the way, to decide.

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