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Learning how to communicate effectively and change people’s minds rarely succeeds by forcing your opinion. People are far more likely to adopt beliefs when they feel like they came up with them. Understanding this can make parenting, leading a team, or even trying to win an argument with a friend more effective.

Chase Hughes, a former United States Navy chief and behavioral expert, told The Diary of a CEO podcast why self-persuasion is an effective strategy for influencing others. He believes it’s “maybe the most dangerous persuasion skill there is.”

Changing people’s minds

The most effective communicators influence others by offering small pieces of information that allow the other person to connect the dots themselves. Ideas we feel are our own carry far more weight in decision-making than those given to us by others. Hughes explains the simple approach behind changing people’s minds:

“I’m gonna put a LEGO right here on the table in front of you. [He points to the right of the table.] And I’m going to put another LEGO right here in front of you. [He points to the left of the table.] And I’m just going to keep having the conversation until eventually your brain is going to go, ‘Oh, I bet those things go together.’ So the idea came from you.”

Hughes further explains the pattern:

“I’m going to give you one piece of information and another piece of information, but I will never put them together for you. And the reason is that any idea that you think came from your own mind, you have no ability to resist it.”

Self-persuasion in a real-world situation

The idea Hughes refers to is called self-persuasion. This form of psychological influence stems from the fact that people are more likely to adopt new beliefs when they feel those beliefs come from within. They are far less likely to be persuaded by external pressure.

Hughes’ example of placing two LEGO bricks offers a clear visual explanation, but what would a real-life scenario look like? Hughes explains:

“Let’s say you’re watching the news and they say, ‘Local Austin woman has been reported missing. Neighbors said that earlier this day, people saw her arguing with her boyfriend. Details after the break.’ And your brain is like, ‘I know what happened.’”

In this example, it’s easy to infer that the boyfriend is likely involved in her disappearance.

Self-persuasion is effective at changing people’s minds

Self-persuasion is powerful because it creates a self-generated process. Individuals feel more personally connected, and even justified. A 2022 study found that people are more influenced when arguments align with their values and beliefs. Messages they may know little about can feel true and even self-driven when they aren’t imposed on them.

A 2022 study examined self-persuasion as an influence on social norms. When people were given options that aligned with their values, the messages felt more personal and were therefore more convincing.

Another 2022 study found that when people were asked to argue one side of a debate, they eventually came to believe that side was correct—even if they didn’t believe it at first. This form of self-persuasion can make disagreements harder to resolve because people naturally feel more confident in their own perspective.

People rarely resist their own conclusions

Self-persuasion works because it changes who is doing the persuading. Telling a child what to do is very different from a parent explaining why it matters. In business, people are more motivated when they help generate ideas than when they’re given even simple instructions.

The most effective communication isn’t about delivering perfect arguments. When people connect the dots on their own, the idea doesn’t just land—it sticks. Hughes suggests letting a person’s brain fill in the gaps. Once they do, the conclusion feels like their own. Studies show that this sense of ownership is a powerful motivator for changing minds.

Watch the full interview with Chase Hughes: