Study explains why you might love your dog more than your spouse

When you’re down and troubled, stressed and burnt-out, or wanting to share joy with someone, it’s always nice to have a companion you can share it all with. A friend who can boost you, console you without judgment, or share in your happiness without jealousy or expectation of benefiting from it. You may be thinking that this friend could be your old high school bestie, a close family member, or your spouse. But more than likely, your more favored and satisfying relationship is with your dog.

A study from Eötvös Loránd University in Hungary is showing that dog owners found their relationships with their pet as satisfying or more satisfying than their relationships with their friends, family, romantic partners, and even their children.

The researchers asked 717 dog owners to rate their relationship with their pet, child, romantic partner, closest relative, and best friend on 13 different characteristics such as reliability, satisfaction, companionship, intimacy, and power balance. The participants were also asked about how often they have fun with the individual, looked out for them, argued with them, were bothered by them, and even asked how sure they were that their relationship would last. About 80% of the dog owners surveyed had a romantic partner and around 20% had a child.

The research team found that the participants experienced significantly fewer negative interactions with their dog compared to all other relationships, and rated their pups higher for companionship and needing nurture. They also rated dogs higher than their best friends and closer relatives in terms of providing affection, reliability, and support. Romantic partners were ranked and rated higher in the area of intimacy compared to the furry friends but that's about it.

The greatest discrepancy between dogs and other relationships was power imbalance, which is normal. Dogs are heavily dependent on their owners for food, water, play, exercise, and affection throughout their entire lifespan, so it’s on the owners to provide or deny any of those things. By contrast, children are dependent on their parents but are raised to become independent adults as they grow older.

“Dogs offer a highly positive relationship with minimal conflict, strong social support, and the unique opportunity to have full control over another living being’s life,” said Professor Enikő Kubinyi, senior author of the research to The Guardian. “Dogs can be (almost) anything we want them to be.”

Owning and caring for a dog has been shown to benefit people’s lives for the most part. The Mayo Clinic says that dogs can help people live healthier lives and reduce stress. They can even help people be less depressed, lower cholesterol, and reduce the risk of heart disease.

But while the study is pointing out the satisfaction that owning a dog can bring, it’s also pointing out the limitations of relying on dogs as your top relationship. A dog is reliable because it needs to rely on you in return for everything, whereas a friend that’s reliable is reliable because they choose to be. When you’re upset and yell at a dog, they forgive quickly and don’t bring it up in the next argument like your moody teenager would. A dog can bring affection to alleviate your depression, but a loving partner puts aside their complex troubles to address yours. Most of the time, dogs mold according to you and your lifestyle to survive under your roof, but humans choose to mold their lifestyle to fit you into theirs.

This isn’t to say that your relationship with your pet isn’t valuable, but it is different and shouldn’t be used in place of human companionship. In fact, human companionship offers the same physical and mental health benefits as dog ownership and then some. In the end, a fully content life depends on the person and their personal needs, but often happens with a mix of human contact in conjunction with care for a beloved pet.