Everybody has had a special furry someone in their lives, whether it was a bear, an otter, a wolf, a giraffe…you know, a stuffed animal to keep and hold dear. While we are often taught that this is something to abandon after childhood, new studies have shown that keeping a stuffed animal close as an adult is actually really good for your mental and physical wellbeing. Plus, it turns out sleeping with a stuffed animal as an adult can not only provide comfort and help assuage trauma, it can also ease anxiety and stress.
It turns out there's a positive psychological response to having a cozy, fluffy friend that can offer a feeling of closeness. This response can be generated by traditional stuffed animals or even weighted stuffed animals, which can duplicate the feeling of being held. Stuffed animals can also help ease past childhood memories when owners care for their creatures, in turn offering the love they perhaps didn’t know as children, CNN shares. As Rolling Stone also reports, “Doctors and therapists have been using weighted teddy bears for years to help patients deal with grief and loss.”
My best friend once told me about how, on a trip home from Mexico, she found herself running for the airport gate with a mountain of Squishmallows under her arm. She has a tower of them on a couch in her apartment, but she still found a few new friends on her travels she wanted to take home. When she told the story, I remember her saying that if being an adult means you can’t buy all the Squishmallows you want, then what’s the point? I myself have lived with a giant four-foot tall bear named Randolph for over a decade. Given to me by parents, he chills nonchalantly on my couch, never paying a dime in rent. Still, there have been many times I’ve cuddled up to him when I’m sad, just to feel a hug.
Neither of us are alone. There’s also been an uptick in adults purchasing stuffed animals for themselves in the last few years as well. In an interview with CNN, sleep psychologist Dr. Jade Wu wondered if it’s part of a process where “people are seeking more comfort in the face of uncertainty,” remembering with stuffed creatures the comforts of a simpler time amidst the precariousness of current events.
The author with Randolph, a giant, four-foot Teddy bear who has lived with her for over a decade without paying rent. Elyssa Goodman
“This is one of the ways to self soothe,” Dr. Barbara Greenberg also told CNN. “We take something like an animal into our bed; it’s comforting.” Additionally, according to The School of Life, psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott surmised that “mental well being depends on…a repertoire of more gentle, forgiving and hopeful inner voices to keep going. It's this kind of indispensable, benevolent voice that the child first starts to rehearse and exercise with the help of a stuffed animal.” When stuffed animals teach us to self-soothe as children, this can become something we take throughout our lives and revisit.
So, the next time you spy a Squishmallow you want, or even a Randolph of your own, remember that as an adult it is okay to seek the comforts you sought out as a child. It’s even good for your health. The inner child is always there, and sometimes a hug from their favorite creature can help them start to feel better.
"It's this kind of indispensable, benevolent voice that the child first starts to rehearse and exercise with the help of a stuffed animal." The School of Life, www.youtube.com
Ultrasound of human baby.Image via 
IVF animated process.Image via 
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Love, Mom.Photo from Heidi Johnson 
A teen boy having a hard time. 
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The obituary paints a comic, if bleak, picture. 
A Facebook post about the obituary.
Why do some folks use social media but don't engage?
Psychologist says people who never comment on social media share these 5 positive traits
For over 20 years, social media has developed into a staple in many people’s day-to-day lives. Whether it’s to keep in communication with friends and family, following the thoughts of celebrities, or watching cat videos while sipping your morning coffee, there seem to be two types of social media users: commenters and lurkers.
The term “lurker” sounds equally mysterious and insidious, with some social media users writing them off as non-participants at best or voyeurs at worst. However, mindfulness expert Lachlan Brown believes these non-commenters have some very psychologically positive and healthy traits. Let’s take a look at how each one of these traits could be beneficial and see how fruitful lurking might be even though it can drive content creators crazy.
1. Cautious about vulnerability
Consciously or not, making a post online or commenting on one puts you and your words out there. It’s a statement that everyone can see, even if it’s as simple as clicking “like.” Doing so opens yourself up to judgment, with all the good, bad, and potential misinterpretation that comes with it. Non-commenters would rather not open themselves up to that.
These silent users are connected to a concept of self-protection by simply not engaging. By just scrolling past posts or just reading/watching them without commentary, they’re preventing themselves from any downsides of sharing an opinion such as rejection, misunderstanding, or embarrassment. They also have more control on how much of themselves they’re willing to reveal to the general public, and tend to be more open face-to-face or during one-on-one/one-on-few private chats or DMs. This can be seen as a healthy boundary and prevents unnecessary exposure.
Considering many comment sections, especially involving political topics, are meant to stir negative emotional responses to increase engagement, being extra mindful about where, when, and what you comment might not be a bad idea. They might not even take the engagement bait at all. Or if they see a friend of theirs post something vulnerable, they feel more motivated to engage with them personally one-on-one rather than use social media to publicly check in on them.
2. Analytical and reflective mindset
How many times have you gone onto Reddit, YouTube, or any other site and just skimmed past comments that are just different versions of “yes, and,” “no, but,” or “yes, but”? Or the ever insightful, formerly popular comment “First!” in a thread? These silent browsers lean against adding to such noise unless they have some valid and thoughtful contribution (if they bother to comment period).
These non-posters are likely wired on reflective thinking rather than their initial intuition. Not to say that all those who comment aren’t thoughtful, but many tend to react quickly and comment based on their initial feelings rather than absorbing the information, thinking it over, researching or testing their belief, and then posting it. For "lurkers," it could by their very nature to just do all of that and not post it at all, or share their thoughts and findings privately with a friend. All in all, it’s a preference of substance over speed.
3. High sense of self-awareness
Carried over from the first two listed traits, these silent social media users incorporate their concern over their vulnerability and their reflective mindset into digital self-awareness. They know what triggers responses out of them and what causes them to engage in impulsive behavior. It could be that they have engaged with a troll in the past and felt foolish. Or that they just felt sad after a post or got into an unnecessary argument that impacted them offline. By knowing themselves and seeing what’s being discussed, they choose to weigh their words carefully or just not participate at all. It’s a form of self-preservation through restraint.
4. Prefer to observe rather than perform
Some folks treat social media as information, entertainment, or a mix of both, and commenting can feel like they’re yelling at the TV, clapping alone in a movie theater when the credits roll, or yelling “That’s not true!” to a news anchor that will never hear them. But contrary to that, social media is a place where those yells, claps, and accusations can be seen and get a response. By its design, social media is considered by experts and the media as performative, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Taking all of the previously mentioned traits into account, one can see why they would prefer to “observe the play” rather than get up on the stage of Facebook or X.
On top of that, these non-commenters could be using social media differently than those who choose to fully engage with it. Using this type of navigation, there may be nothing for them to comment about. Some commenters are even vying for this for their mental health. There are articles about how to better curate your social media feeds and manipulate algorithms to create a better social media experience to avoid unnecessary conflict or mentally tiring debate.
If you go on a blocking spree on all of your accounts and just follow the posters that boost you, it could turn your social media into a nice part of your routine as you mainly engage with others face-to-face or privately. In terms of commenting, if your curated Instagram is just following cute dogs and all you have to offer for a comment is “cute dog,” you might just enjoy the picture and then move on with your day rather than join in the noise. These non-commenters aren’t in the show and they’re fine with it.
5. Less motivated by social validation
The last trait that Brown showcases is that social media users who browse without posting tend to be independent from external validation, at least online. Social media is built to grow through feedback loops such as awarding likes, shares, and reposts of your content along with notifications letting you know that a new person follows you or wants to connect. This can lead many people to connect their activity on social media with their sense of self worth, especially with adolescents who are still figuring out their place in the world and have still-developing brains.
Engaging in social media via likes, shares, comments, and posts rewards our brains by having them release dopamine, which makes us feel good and can easily become addictive. For whatever reason, non-commenters don’t rely on social media as a means to gauge their social capital or self worth. This doesn’t make them better than those who do. While some non-commenters could have healthier ways to boost their self worth or release dopamine into their systems, many get that validation from equally unhealthy sources offline. That said, many non-commenters’ silence could be a display of independence and self confidence.
Whether you frequently comment online or don’t, it’s good to understand why you do or don’t. Analyzing your habits can help you determine whether your online engagement is healthy, or needs to be tweaked. With that information, you can then create a healthy social media experience that works for you.