Single women are vouching for 'Burned Haystack' dating method to find true love

In the dating world, many women share a common frustration: the struggle to find good men. But it’s not necessarily a lack of good men—it’s more about how to find them. Despite trying dating apps and other methods, many women feel stuck. Jennie Young, a writer and professor at the University of Wisconsin, has shared a “game-changer” method. In her HuffPost piece, she introduces single women to the 'Burned Haystack' approach. Drawing from her own experience, Young described the exhausting cycle of swiping through endless matches on dating apps without real results.

“I wanted an actual partner, not just to be someone’s ‘partner in crime’ from the backseat of his Harley so we could ‘keep it casual and see what happens,’” she remarked. After worrying about multiple problems with dating, including being 50 years old, Young decided to step up the pace and ditch the monotonous dating techniques. That’s how she came across the 'Burned Haystack' method for dating. “I googled ‘How do you find a needle in a haystack?’ I was just fooling around, but when I saw the answer, I got chills. The answer — the way you find an actual needle in an actual haystack — is to burn the haystack to the ground. What you’ll be left with is the needle, because metal doesn’t burn,” she recalled.

Using that mindset, Jennie started a private Facebook page titled “The Burned Haystack Dating Method.” This page was meant to guide women in exactly what she had searched earlier: burn all the hay and help find the needle—the one. Starting with like-minded colleagues and friends, over 111,000 people have now joined Young’s group. What does the method call for? The page instructs how to narrow down the search for the right one. Women no longer have to entertain and filter through thousands of matches that are just looking for a good time, exploring, looking for a one-time thing, and so on.

People using the 'Burned Haystack' method know what they want and are committed to finding it. They pursue the serious and determined idea of being together. Moreover, the page has simple rules like approaching women with a well-written and noteworthy message rather than mundane flirtatious texts. There are no temporaries, no flings, no casual dating, just honest and upfront intentions. People use dating apps, just with a more defined perspective. The 'Burned Haystack' method calls for being more specific about finding the one and getting rid of those who don’t fit the list.

The method is simple: browse based on your criteria and “burn” or block anyone who doesn’t meet them. Blocking is key—it’s about fully removing distractions rather than just swiping past them. This narrows the search, increasing the chances of genuine matches. “We’re suddenly meeting men who are respectful and relationship-minded, and we’re going out on good dates,” Young wrote. She added, “Following the 'Burned Haystack Method' requires us to slow down, to be mindful, to be honest, and to be kind — both to the people we meet and to ourselves.”

You can follow Jennie Young on Instagram and TikTok for more content on the 'Burned Haystack Method.'