Adopting a child is a special moment for parents but it also comes with responsibilities as well as questions that the child may have in the future. It can be hard for the child to trust his new parents and it can be harder for parents to love him in a way that would not feel patronising. While there might be a number of negative stories about what adopted kids go through at foster homes on social media, there are also children who have found loving families. One such healthy relationship was seen in a TikTok clip posted by the account called @happiestofficial.
The video shows an adopted boy’s birthday celebration posted by his mom, with the overlay text “Watch my adopted son realize how loved he is.” The video opens with a lovely little boy and his family with a huge bowling-themed cake being presented to the child with others singing “happy birthday” in the background. The adorable golden-haired boy chuckles at the sight of the cake specifically crafted for him and it's clear that he is enjoying his birthday very much. As he blows out the candles, the rest of his loving new family cheers for him in the background.
The heartwarming video went on to amass more than 5 million likes and won over thousands of users who left comments. People praised the mom for raising the boy with love and care, while others reflected that not all adoptees are sad and miserable. @lindakamal11 commented, “Seeing these types of videos, I don’t understand why nowadays people say adoption is a horrible thing to happen to an adoptee.” @ _.e_b_o_n_y._said, “Adopted or not, this little guy realizes that you are his real parents. The ones he was always meant to be with.”
Image Source: TikTok | @hotstreakk
The video was also reshared by u//CherryBlossom0408 in the r/MadeMeSmile group, where it received over 40,000 upvotes. “Kiddo deserves a family that will love and care for him unconditionally and I'm glad he now has it. This is the sweetest and really amazing moment. Loved this,” commented u/Stylish_assembly. u/elizabeth11511 said, “It’s so heartbreaking realizing there is kids that never get to experience love like this in their life.”
Image Source: Reddit | u/forrest1777
Adoption might sound scary, but as this boy’s reaction shows, it isn’t always the same for everyone. In fact, according to NPR, extensive national data collected on adopted children and their families in the United States revealed that over 88% of adopted children are happy, emotionally sound, and in good health. “That's contrary to the negative stories that capture media attention, about adoption,” said Sharon Vandivere, a researcher for Child Trends, a nonpartisan Washington research group. The survey demonstrated that parents of the adopted children show them lots of affection, even though these children may require assistance with mental health, as they are prone to suffering from depression and other psychological conditions.
@happiestofficial You can see how much this meant to him 🥺 #adoptedson #adoption #birthday #corememories #fostermom
You can follow @happiestofficial on TikTok for more wholesome family content.
Why do some folks use social media but don't engage?
Psychologist says people who never comment on social media share these 5 positive traits
For over 20 years, social media has developed into a staple in many people’s day-to-day lives. Whether it’s to keep in communication with friends and family, following the thoughts of celebrities, or watching cat videos while sipping your morning coffee, there seem to be two types of social media users: commenters and lurkers.
The term “lurker” sounds equally mysterious and insidious, with some social media users writing them off as non-participants at best or voyeurs at worst. However, mindfulness expert Lachlan Brown believes these non-commenters have some very psychologically positive and healthy traits. Let’s take a look at how each one of these traits could be beneficial and see how fruitful lurking might be even though it can drive content creators crazy.
1. Cautious about vulnerability
Consciously or not, making a post online or commenting on one puts you and your words out there. It’s a statement that everyone can see, even if it’s as simple as clicking “like.” Doing so opens yourself up to judgment, with all the good, bad, and potential misinterpretation that comes with it. Non-commenters would rather not open themselves up to that.
These silent users are connected to a concept of self-protection by simply not engaging. By just scrolling past posts or just reading/watching them without commentary, they’re preventing themselves from any downsides of sharing an opinion such as rejection, misunderstanding, or embarrassment. They also have more control on how much of themselves they’re willing to reveal to the general public, and tend to be more open face-to-face or during one-on-one/one-on-few private chats or DMs. This can be seen as a healthy boundary and prevents unnecessary exposure.
Considering many comment sections, especially involving political topics, are meant to stir negative emotional responses to increase engagement, being extra mindful about where, when, and what you comment might not be a bad idea. They might not even take the engagement bait at all. Or if they see a friend of theirs post something vulnerable, they feel more motivated to engage with them personally one-on-one rather than use social media to publicly check in on them.
2. Analytical and reflective mindset
How many times have you gone onto Reddit, YouTube, or any other site and just skimmed past comments that are just different versions of “yes, and,” “no, but,” or “yes, but”? Or the ever insightful, formerly popular comment “First!” in a thread? These silent browsers lean against adding to such noise unless they have some valid and thoughtful contribution (if they bother to comment period).
These non-posters are likely wired on reflective thinking rather than their initial intuition. Not to say that all those who comment aren’t thoughtful, but many tend to react quickly and comment based on their initial feelings rather than absorbing the information, thinking it over, researching or testing their belief, and then posting it. For "lurkers," it could by their very nature to just do all of that and not post it at all, or share their thoughts and findings privately with a friend. All in all, it’s a preference of substance over speed.
3. High sense of self-awareness
Carried over from the first two listed traits, these silent social media users incorporate their concern over their vulnerability and their reflective mindset into digital self-awareness. They know what triggers responses out of them and what causes them to engage in impulsive behavior. It could be that they have engaged with a troll in the past and felt foolish. Or that they just felt sad after a post or got into an unnecessary argument that impacted them offline. By knowing themselves and seeing what’s being discussed, they choose to weigh their words carefully or just not participate at all. It’s a form of self-preservation through restraint.
4. Prefer to observe rather than perform
Some folks treat social media as information, entertainment, or a mix of both, and commenting can feel like they’re yelling at the TV, clapping alone in a movie theater when the credits roll, or yelling “That’s not true!” to a news anchor that will never hear them. But contrary to that, social media is a place where those yells, claps, and accusations can be seen and get a response. By its design, social media is considered by experts and the media as performative, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Taking all of the previously mentioned traits into account, one can see why they would prefer to “observe the play” rather than get up on the stage of Facebook or X.
On top of that, these non-commenters could be using social media differently than those who choose to fully engage with it. Using this type of navigation, there may be nothing for them to comment about. Some commenters are even vying for this for their mental health. There are articles about how to better curate your social media feeds and manipulate algorithms to create a better social media experience to avoid unnecessary conflict or mentally tiring debate.
If you go on a blocking spree on all of your accounts and just follow the posters that boost you, it could turn your social media into a nice part of your routine as you mainly engage with others face-to-face or privately. In terms of commenting, if your curated Instagram is just following cute dogs and all you have to offer for a comment is “cute dog,” you might just enjoy the picture and then move on with your day rather than join in the noise. These non-commenters aren’t in the show and they’re fine with it.
5. Less motivated by social validation
The last trait that Brown showcases is that social media users who browse without posting tend to be independent from external validation, at least online. Social media is built to grow through feedback loops such as awarding likes, shares, and reposts of your content along with notifications letting you know that a new person follows you or wants to connect. This can lead many people to connect their activity on social media with their sense of self worth, especially with adolescents who are still figuring out their place in the world and have still-developing brains.
Engaging in social media via likes, shares, comments, and posts rewards our brains by having them release dopamine, which makes us feel good and can easily become addictive. For whatever reason, non-commenters don’t rely on social media as a means to gauge their social capital or self worth. This doesn’t make them better than those who do. While some non-commenters could have healthier ways to boost their self worth or release dopamine into their systems, many get that validation from equally unhealthy sources offline. That said, many non-commenters’ silence could be a display of independence and self confidence.
Whether you frequently comment online or don’t, it’s good to understand why you do or don’t. Analyzing your habits can help you determine whether your online engagement is healthy, or needs to be tweaked. With that information, you can then create a healthy social media experience that works for you.