In December 2018, doctors told Olivia Saxelby and Jamie Lee that their five-year-old boy, Oscar Saxelby-Lee, had only three months to live. He was diagnosed with T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia, a rare and aggressive cancer that causes the bone marrow to release immature white blood cells. Doctors cautioned that Oscar immediately required a “stem cell transplant” to survive. Pitmaston Primary School in Worcester, where Oscar studied, came forward to organize a stem cell donation drive. On the due date, event organizers were stunned as a whopping 4,855 people showed up at the venue, reported The New York Times.
Representative Image Source: A group of people following social distancing guidelines waiting in the street to enter a busy restaurant. (Getty Images)
“What a fantastic turnout for our little warrior and those in need of a stem cell transplant,” Jamie, Oscar’s father, wrote on Facebook. “This gives us more and more hope in finding a match for our Ozzy Bear.” Describing the scene of the event, Sue Bladen, the school’s business manager, told The New York Times, “People queued around the block, in the pouring rain, and nobody moaned about it. The spirit we had here was absolutely incredible, the generosity of people.”
Learning how so many people had stepped up for Oscar’s cause, Jamie and Olivia took a short leave from Birmingham Children’s Hospital, where Oscar was hospitalized, and visited the school to thank the donors in the crowd. He was first admitted to the hospital as soon as his blood test reports turned out to be abnormal with a platelet count of just 14. After this, the boy had to go through a rigorous protocol of intense chemotherapy to terminate the leukemia blasts in his blood, as mentioned on the crowdfunding page that Oscar’s school created to help raise for his treatment. Till now, over 720 supporters have donated a sum totaling £23,890 ($31,952).
Like the fundraising campaign, the stem cell donation drive was also organized by the school. “We decided we would do whatever it takes to find a donor for Oscar,” Sue told The New York Times. The school then partnered with DKMS, an international nonprofit organization focused on finding donors for blood cancer patients to organize this event. “Anyone aged 17 to 55 was eligible to come in and register as a donor,” said Sue. Over 200 volunteers registered their names to contribute their services to the event.
And even after the record-breaking donor drive was over, registrations didn’t stop coming. “Incredible to hear that another 1,000 people registered with DKMS online last weekend,” which raised the total number to 5,800, Kate Wilcock, the head teacher at Pitmaston Primary, said on X.
A few months later, Sue posted an update on the crowdfunding page, “Amazing news today - Oscar has a match and is now awaiting a stem cell transplant. Oscar has a long way to go but is now on the next stage of his journey.” But soon after, the happy update was followed by heartbreaking news. “The heartbreaking news that there is no further curative treatment for Oscar available on the NHS means that we have no other choice but to desperately and urgently seek your help once again to save Oscar. Oscar desperately needs in the region of £500,000 ($668,000) to access treatment in Singapore.” She appealed to people to donate money via Virgin Money.
Although the page features no further update, BBC reported in June 2023 that Oscar became cancer-free more than two years earlier. After the support of thousands of people, his parents were able to raise more than £700,000 ($935,000) to help him with his treatment. The little boy is now a grown-up and also a big brother.
Ultrasound of human baby.Image via 
IVF animated process.Image via 
A couple speaks with a fertility professional.Image via 
Love, Mom.Photo from Heidi Johnson 
A teen boy having a hard time. 
Hands hold a digital representation of the brain.Image via 
Mother and daughter work a puzzle.Image via 
Man and woman connect under the sunshine.Image via 
The obituary paints a comic, if bleak, picture. 
A Facebook post about the obituary.
Why do some folks use social media but don't engage?
Psychologist says people who never comment on social media share these 5 positive traits
For over 20 years, social media has developed into a staple in many people’s day-to-day lives. Whether it’s to keep in communication with friends and family, following the thoughts of celebrities, or watching cat videos while sipping your morning coffee, there seem to be two types of social media users: commenters and lurkers.
The term “lurker” sounds equally mysterious and insidious, with some social media users writing them off as non-participants at best or voyeurs at worst. However, mindfulness expert Lachlan Brown believes these non-commenters have some very psychologically positive and healthy traits. Let’s take a look at how each one of these traits could be beneficial and see how fruitful lurking might be even though it can drive content creators crazy.
1. Cautious about vulnerability
Consciously or not, making a post online or commenting on one puts you and your words out there. It’s a statement that everyone can see, even if it’s as simple as clicking “like.” Doing so opens yourself up to judgment, with all the good, bad, and potential misinterpretation that comes with it. Non-commenters would rather not open themselves up to that.
These silent users are connected to a concept of self-protection by simply not engaging. By just scrolling past posts or just reading/watching them without commentary, they’re preventing themselves from any downsides of sharing an opinion such as rejection, misunderstanding, or embarrassment. They also have more control on how much of themselves they’re willing to reveal to the general public, and tend to be more open face-to-face or during one-on-one/one-on-few private chats or DMs. This can be seen as a healthy boundary and prevents unnecessary exposure.
Considering many comment sections, especially involving political topics, are meant to stir negative emotional responses to increase engagement, being extra mindful about where, when, and what you comment might not be a bad idea. They might not even take the engagement bait at all. Or if they see a friend of theirs post something vulnerable, they feel more motivated to engage with them personally one-on-one rather than use social media to publicly check in on them.
2. Analytical and reflective mindset
How many times have you gone onto Reddit, YouTube, or any other site and just skimmed past comments that are just different versions of “yes, and,” “no, but,” or “yes, but”? Or the ever insightful, formerly popular comment “First!” in a thread? These silent browsers lean against adding to such noise unless they have some valid and thoughtful contribution (if they bother to comment period).
These non-posters are likely wired on reflective thinking rather than their initial intuition. Not to say that all those who comment aren’t thoughtful, but many tend to react quickly and comment based on their initial feelings rather than absorbing the information, thinking it over, researching or testing their belief, and then posting it. For "lurkers," it could by their very nature to just do all of that and not post it at all, or share their thoughts and findings privately with a friend. All in all, it’s a preference of substance over speed.
3. High sense of self-awareness
Carried over from the first two listed traits, these silent social media users incorporate their concern over their vulnerability and their reflective mindset into digital self-awareness. They know what triggers responses out of them and what causes them to engage in impulsive behavior. It could be that they have engaged with a troll in the past and felt foolish. Or that they just felt sad after a post or got into an unnecessary argument that impacted them offline. By knowing themselves and seeing what’s being discussed, they choose to weigh their words carefully or just not participate at all. It’s a form of self-preservation through restraint.
4. Prefer to observe rather than perform
Some folks treat social media as information, entertainment, or a mix of both, and commenting can feel like they’re yelling at the TV, clapping alone in a movie theater when the credits roll, or yelling “That’s not true!” to a news anchor that will never hear them. But contrary to that, social media is a place where those yells, claps, and accusations can be seen and get a response. By its design, social media is considered by experts and the media as performative, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Taking all of the previously mentioned traits into account, one can see why they would prefer to “observe the play” rather than get up on the stage of Facebook or X.
On top of that, these non-commenters could be using social media differently than those who choose to fully engage with it. Using this type of navigation, there may be nothing for them to comment about. Some commenters are even vying for this for their mental health. There are articles about how to better curate your social media feeds and manipulate algorithms to create a better social media experience to avoid unnecessary conflict or mentally tiring debate.
If you go on a blocking spree on all of your accounts and just follow the posters that boost you, it could turn your social media into a nice part of your routine as you mainly engage with others face-to-face or privately. In terms of commenting, if your curated Instagram is just following cute dogs and all you have to offer for a comment is “cute dog,” you might just enjoy the picture and then move on with your day rather than join in the noise. These non-commenters aren’t in the show and they’re fine with it.
5. Less motivated by social validation
The last trait that Brown showcases is that social media users who browse without posting tend to be independent from external validation, at least online. Social media is built to grow through feedback loops such as awarding likes, shares, and reposts of your content along with notifications letting you know that a new person follows you or wants to connect. This can lead many people to connect their activity on social media with their sense of self worth, especially with adolescents who are still figuring out their place in the world and have still-developing brains.
Engaging in social media via likes, shares, comments, and posts rewards our brains by having them release dopamine, which makes us feel good and can easily become addictive. For whatever reason, non-commenters don’t rely on social media as a means to gauge their social capital or self worth. This doesn’t make them better than those who do. While some non-commenters could have healthier ways to boost their self worth or release dopamine into their systems, many get that validation from equally unhealthy sources offline. That said, many non-commenters’ silence could be a display of independence and self confidence.
Whether you frequently comment online or don’t, it’s good to understand why you do or don’t. Analyzing your habits can help you determine whether your online engagement is healthy, or needs to be tweaked. With that information, you can then create a healthy social media experience that works for you.