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Timid eaters may scatter at the sight of a glob of mayo or the sound of a whizz of Sriracha. But for many lunch-lovers, sandwiches are just a means of delivering condiments to their rightful resting place. If you fall into the latter category of eater, it's possible that traditional condiment dispensers—bottles, jars, plastic packets—aren't getting the job done. Ketchup bottles require too much slapping. Mayonnaise jars involve soiling a knife. Mustard packets are entirely too small for your purposes.
In honor of sandwich week, here's a look at the extreme lengths some inventors have gone to revolutionize the condiment dispensing experience. As you frantically drizzle, dollop, smear or slather your next sandwich, consider reaching for the syringe. The Ranch syringe, that is.
Image via Ffffood
The Sriracha spray bottle: useful for dressing up bahn mi or as an alternative to pepper spray.
Image via Imgur.com
This ketchup (or mustard!) dispenser marries two uniquely American symbols: hot dogs and firearms.
Image via Kaboodle.com
You never know: This might save one minute while preparing toast in the morning.
Image via PurpleSlinky.com
Even condiments need a vacation sometimes. Not particularly practical, but cute nonetheless.
Image via TrendHunter.com
At first glance, these mayonnaise jars look like your typical coffee-and-celery-seed-flavored luxury line. What makes Empire Mayo extreme? Its decision to open up New York City's first mayonnaise-only boutique in Brooklyn. As co-owner Elizabeth Valleau told Grub Street, New York is currently in the midst of a "condiment revolution." This mayonnaise is its fearless leader.
Image via Empire Mayo
That syringe is full of Ranch dressing. Rather than make a mess of her daughter's lunchbox by pre-slathering carrot sticks in Ranch, one blogging mom says she experienced a "flash of genius" and invented this time and mess-saving solution. It also provides one of the few acceptable occasions for children to bring syringes to school.
Image via DashingBean
A flowing fountain of ketchup might be just the answer to the condiment dispensing dilemma at your next awards banquet, quinceañera or bar mitzvah.
Image via SimplyWellFed
The Australian condiment Vegemite is probably the most bad-ass condiment out there. (It's a byproduct of beer, after all.) You either love it or you can't stand it, but either way, the smell is strong enough that this is one condiment you'll want to leave a lid on.
Image via Vegemite