Mixed couples are more common nowadays than ever before. But acceptance still doesn't come easily, especially from the older members of the family. In a YouTube video, this woman shared the progression of her Chinese grandma coming to terms with her boyfriend and finally accepting him. The brief clip is truly swoon-worthy. Claire and Peter are a mixed couple who upload travel vlogs. Recently, they posted a video where the woman introduces her boyfriend to her Chinese Grandma who isn't exactly pleased with her choice of a boyfriend. But that gradually changes. The couple then uploaded that cute video on their channel and the amount of acceptance the grandmother shows is inspirational.
Image Source: YouTube | Claire and Peter
Through the video, one can see that the grandmother is super disappointed for an entire week. By the third week, she gets quite friendly and accepting towards her boyfriend. Eventually, when they are leaving the grandmother keeps coming along and waving at her boyfriend and that is a different level of wholesome. For a mixed couple, getting accepted by each other's family means a lot as adjusting to a different culture and way of life can already be overwhelming. Disapproving families can greatly add to that burden. At such times, patience and initiative work wonders, the couple bears testimony to it. In another video, the woman is asking her grandfather if he approves of her boyfriend. The grandpa has a totally different take on things from the grandma. Claire asks her grandpa if he likes her boyfriend, and he says that he likes him very much and that he is very good.
Image Source: YouTube | Claire and Peter
She asks him if he would have liked him more if he was Chinese. Grandpa says, "The same." He added, "I wouldn't like him if he smoked." He explains that he doesn't like smokers. He happily says that her boyfriend likes eating Chinese food and listens to her and that was a very good thing. She also asks him if he has any trouble with her boyfriend being on YouTube. To which the grandpa replies that it was okay. He hilariously adds that if he listens to you everything is okay. He wisely adds that if she meets someone who doesn't listen then the couple would have fights more often. He also says that as she has found someone who does as she says it will be good and that she has made a very smart choice.
A YouTube user @LadeliciaDelinda commented on her grandma's video, "Your grandma has the sweetest smiles. You can tell she had plenty of love from the beginning but maybe was just holding it in! I wish my grandma was alive to have met my Salvadorian boyfriend. I also wished my tio was alive too. I'm Chinese but have family from Mexico so my Chinese mom was surprisingly very receptive to my boyfriend. Love seeing interracial couples on YouTube connect cross-culturally with family." Another user @micheledimond commented, "Aw, sweet Grandma! Just making sure he's genuine. I had my daughter's BF go on a light hike on Puget Sound just to see what I thought of him, and interact with him alone. They just had their first anniversary. He got a 'thumbs up' from our interactions and I have seen how he cares for my girl... I think he might be a keeper." It was quite endearing to see both grandparents have a different but equally heartwarming reaction to the couple's relationship.
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Pictured: A healthy practice?
Will your current friends still be with you after seven years?
Professor shares how many years a friendship must last before it'll become lifelong
Think of your best friend. How long have you known them? Growing up, children make friends and say they’ll be best friends forever. That’s where “BFF” came from, for crying out loud. But is the concept of the lifelong friend real? If so, how many years of friendship will have to bloom before a friendship goes the distance? Well, a Dutch study may have the answer to that last question.
Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst and his team in the Netherlands did extensive research on friendships and made some interesting findings in his surveys and studies. Mollenhorst found that over half of your friendships will “shed” within seven years. However, the relationships that go past the seven-year mark tend to last. This led to the prevailing theory that most friendships lasting more than seven years would endure throughout a person’s lifetime.
In Mollenhorst’s findings, lifelong friendships seem to come down to one thing: reciprocal effort. The primary reason so many friendships form and fade within seven-year cycles has much to do with a person’s ages and life stages. A lot of people lose touch with elementary and high school friends because so many leave home to attend college. Work friends change when someone gets promoted or finds a better job in a different state. Some friends get married and have children, reducing one-on-one time together, and thus a friendship fades. It’s easy to lose friends, but naturally harder to keep them when you’re no longer in proximity.
Some people on Reddit even wonder if lifelong friendships are actually real or just a romanticized thought nowadays. However, older commenters showed that lifelong friendship is still possible:
“I met my friend on the first day of kindergarten. Maybe not the very first day, but within the first week. We were texting each other stupid memes just yesterday. This year we’ll both celebrate our 58th birthdays.”
“My oldest friend and I met when she was just 5 and I was 9. Next-door neighbors. We're now both over 60 and still talk weekly and visit at least twice a year.”
“I’m 55. I’ve just spent a weekend with friends I met 24 and 32 years ago respectively. I’m also still in touch with my penpal in the States. I was 15 when we started writing to each other.”
“My friends (3 of them) go back to my college days in my 20’s that I still talk to a minimum of once a week. I'm in my early 60s now.”
“We ebb and flow. Sometimes many years will pass as we go through different things and phases. Nobody gets buttsore if we aren’t in touch all the time. In our 50s we don’t try and argue or be petty like we did before. But I love them. I don’t need a weekly lunch to know that. I could make a call right now if I needed something. Same with them.”
Maintaining a friendship for life is never guaranteed, but there are ways, psychotherapists say, that can make a friendship last. It’s not easy, but for a friendship to last, both participants need to make room for patience and place greater weight on their similarities than on the differences that may develop over time. Along with that, it’s helpful to be tolerant of large distances and gaps of time between visits, too. It’s not easy, and it requires both people involved to be equally invested to keep the friendship alive and from becoming stagnant.
As tough as it sounds, it is still possible. You may be a fortunate person who can name several friends you’ve kept for over seven years or over seventy years. But if you’re not, every new friendship you make has the same chance and potential of being lifelong.