In his collection of poignant letters called “Life Beyond Measure,” Sidney Poitier famously wrote a quote that reflected the greatest inspiration behind his success. “For most human beings, even when we briefly touch up against other lives, we leave our marks on each other," it read. Before he became a Hollywood star, Poitier didn’t even know how to read. In his young years, when he was wrangling with poverty, and juggling the odd job of a dishwasher, he came across an elderly Jewish waiter who spent day after day relentlessly teaching him to grasp words and punctuation, until he finally learned to make sense of the written word. In a 2013 interview with Leslie Stahl for "CBS Sunday Morning," Poitier nearly choked up with tears while revealing the story of the Jewish man, who left an indelible mark on his life.
Image Source: Actor & director Sidney Poitier on the set of 'Lilies of the Field' for which he won the Academy Award for Best Actor, in Tuscon, Arizona. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
Poitier, who passed away in January 2022 at the age of 94, was the first Black man to ever win an Academy Award for Best Actor, for his starring role in the 1963 movie “Lilies of the Field.” In this 2013 interview, host Leslie expressed her curiosity as to why Poitier chose to become an actor in the first place when he knew that he couldn’t read and his thick Bahamian accent was no match for Hollywood. “I had no way of knowing that there is madness in what I’m trying to do,” he replied.
Leslie described that after a disastrous audition with the “American Negro Theatre,” where Poitier could barely read the script, a man extended an act of kindness. The man was the waiter at the place where Poitier worked as a dishwasher. According to Goalcoast, this was when Poitier was around 16 to 17 years old.
Image Source: 15th September 1980: Sidney Poitier, the American actor and film director. Hollywood's first real black star. (Photo by Evening Standard/Getty Images)
Poitier grew up in poverty in the Bahamas and struggled with illiteracy for much of his childhood. He only attended school for two years. He told CBS News that his father was a tomato farmer. When he was born, three months premature, his parents already had six children, and they didn’t have any hope that he’d survive. His mother consulted a soothsayer. "The lady took her hand and started speaking to my mother," he said. "'Don't worry about your son. He will survive,'" Poitier recalled. "And these were her words, she said: 'He will walk with kings.'" And the prophecy came true, "Everything she said, including walking with kings, yeah."
At the age of sixteen, he moved to New York City to pursue his dream of acting. However, as Leslie described, his inability to read scripts left him stranded as an outsider in the industry. But then, there was a turning point in his life. “One of the elderly Jewish waiters had a newspaper,” Poitier told Leslie, “and he walked over to me and he looked at me and said, ‘What’s new in the paper?’ And I looked up at this man and said to him, ‘I can’t tell you what’s up in the paper because I can’t read.’ He asked, ‘Would you like me to read with you?’ I said to him, yes, if you’d like.” Every night, Poitier recalled, the Jewish man would sit by his side, and teach him to read. This happened for weeks and weeks.
Eventually, after about six months, Poitier was finally a fluent reader, per Aish. He tried his luck one more time at the American Negro Theater and was accepted as an apprentice. But still, being a newcomer, his first job in the theater was not as an actor, but as a janitor. Then one day, a theater actor, who later became the superstar Harry Belafonte, couldn’t show up for the rehearsals for a Broadway play. That’s when Poitier got the opportunity to act in the play.
Image Source: President Barack Obama presents the Medal of Freedom to Sidney Poitier during a ceremony in the White House on August 12, 2009. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
Starting with a role with the American Negro Theatre, he went on to become one of the most accomplished actors in the industry. He starred in over 50 films. He won numerous awards, was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Yet, a regret lingered in his heart for all this time. He never got to say “thank you” to the waiter who had changed his life. “One of my great regrets in life is that I went on to be a very successful actor, and one day I tried to find him, but it was too late, and I regret that I never had the opportunity to really thank him,” he once said, per The Forward.
Image Source: Actor and director Sidney Poitier on the set of the movie 'Lilies of the Field' for which he won the Academy Award for Best Actor, in Tuscon, Arizona. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
A woman deprived of her sleep.Image via 
A Looney Tunes classic. 
Artist's rendering of a brain overlaid a woman's head.Image via 
Ultrasound of human baby.Image via 
IVF animated process.Image via 
A couple speaks with a fertility professional.Image via 
Love, Mom.Photo from Heidi Johnson 
A teen boy having a hard time. 
Why do some folks use social media but don't engage?
Psychologist says people who never comment on social media share these 5 positive traits
For over 20 years, social media has developed into a staple in many people’s day-to-day lives. Whether it’s to keep in communication with friends and family, following the thoughts of celebrities, or watching cat videos while sipping your morning coffee, there seem to be two types of social media users: commenters and lurkers.
The term “lurker” sounds equally mysterious and insidious, with some social media users writing them off as non-participants at best or voyeurs at worst. However, mindfulness expert Lachlan Brown believes these non-commenters have some very psychologically positive and healthy traits. Let’s take a look at how each one of these traits could be beneficial and see how fruitful lurking might be even though it can drive content creators crazy.
1. Cautious about vulnerability
Consciously or not, making a post online or commenting on one puts you and your words out there. It’s a statement that everyone can see, even if it’s as simple as clicking “like.” Doing so opens yourself up to judgment, with all the good, bad, and potential misinterpretation that comes with it. Non-commenters would rather not open themselves up to that.
These silent users are connected to a concept of self-protection by simply not engaging. By just scrolling past posts or just reading/watching them without commentary, they’re preventing themselves from any downsides of sharing an opinion such as rejection, misunderstanding, or embarrassment. They also have more control on how much of themselves they’re willing to reveal to the general public, and tend to be more open face-to-face or during one-on-one/one-on-few private chats or DMs. This can be seen as a healthy boundary and prevents unnecessary exposure.
Considering many comment sections, especially involving political topics, are meant to stir negative emotional responses to increase engagement, being extra mindful about where, when, and what you comment might not be a bad idea. They might not even take the engagement bait at all. Or if they see a friend of theirs post something vulnerable, they feel more motivated to engage with them personally one-on-one rather than use social media to publicly check in on them.
2. Analytical and reflective mindset
How many times have you gone onto Reddit, YouTube, or any other site and just skimmed past comments that are just different versions of “yes, and,” “no, but,” or “yes, but”? Or the ever insightful, formerly popular comment “First!” in a thread? These silent browsers lean against adding to such noise unless they have some valid and thoughtful contribution (if they bother to comment period).
These non-posters are likely wired on reflective thinking rather than their initial intuition. Not to say that all those who comment aren’t thoughtful, but many tend to react quickly and comment based on their initial feelings rather than absorbing the information, thinking it over, researching or testing their belief, and then posting it. For "lurkers," it could by their very nature to just do all of that and not post it at all, or share their thoughts and findings privately with a friend. All in all, it’s a preference of substance over speed.
3. High sense of self-awareness
Carried over from the first two listed traits, these silent social media users incorporate their concern over their vulnerability and their reflective mindset into digital self-awareness. They know what triggers responses out of them and what causes them to engage in impulsive behavior. It could be that they have engaged with a troll in the past and felt foolish. Or that they just felt sad after a post or got into an unnecessary argument that impacted them offline. By knowing themselves and seeing what’s being discussed, they choose to weigh their words carefully or just not participate at all. It’s a form of self-preservation through restraint.
4. Prefer to observe rather than perform
Some folks treat social media as information, entertainment, or a mix of both, and commenting can feel like they’re yelling at the TV, clapping alone in a movie theater when the credits roll, or yelling “That’s not true!” to a news anchor that will never hear them. But contrary to that, social media is a place where those yells, claps, and accusations can be seen and get a response. By its design, social media is considered by experts and the media as performative, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Taking all of the previously mentioned traits into account, one can see why they would prefer to “observe the play” rather than get up on the stage of Facebook or X.
On top of that, these non-commenters could be using social media differently than those who choose to fully engage with it. Using this type of navigation, there may be nothing for them to comment about. Some commenters are even vying for this for their mental health. There are articles about how to better curate your social media feeds and manipulate algorithms to create a better social media experience to avoid unnecessary conflict or mentally tiring debate.
If you go on a blocking spree on all of your accounts and just follow the posters that boost you, it could turn your social media into a nice part of your routine as you mainly engage with others face-to-face or privately. In terms of commenting, if your curated Instagram is just following cute dogs and all you have to offer for a comment is “cute dog,” you might just enjoy the picture and then move on with your day rather than join in the noise. These non-commenters aren’t in the show and they’re fine with it.
5. Less motivated by social validation
The last trait that Brown showcases is that social media users who browse without posting tend to be independent from external validation, at least online. Social media is built to grow through feedback loops such as awarding likes, shares, and reposts of your content along with notifications letting you know that a new person follows you or wants to connect. This can lead many people to connect their activity on social media with their sense of self worth, especially with adolescents who are still figuring out their place in the world and have still-developing brains.
Engaging in social media via likes, shares, comments, and posts rewards our brains by having them release dopamine, which makes us feel good and can easily become addictive. For whatever reason, non-commenters don’t rely on social media as a means to gauge their social capital or self worth. This doesn’t make them better than those who do. While some non-commenters could have healthier ways to boost their self worth or release dopamine into their systems, many get that validation from equally unhealthy sources offline. That said, many non-commenters’ silence could be a display of independence and self confidence.
Whether you frequently comment online or don’t, it’s good to understand why you do or don’t. Analyzing your habits can help you determine whether your online engagement is healthy, or needs to be tweaked. With that information, you can then create a healthy social media experience that works for you.