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A Very Creative NFL Player Blamed His Positive Drug Test On A Supernatural Encounter

He offered a very silly explanation in the face of a very serious issue.

Even after serving a four-game suspension for the results of a positive performance-enhancing drug (PED) test, Jeremy Kerley still sought to offer an explanation to the public.

It wasn’t a “good” explanation, much less a plausible one, but you have to admire his creativity in crafting a narrative. Speaking to the media upon his return, the Jets wide receiver chalked his trespass up to supernatural interference.

As far as terrible excuses for PED violations go, it’s at least an interesting — if not believable — attempt to shirk responsibility.

Claiming he didn’t “knowingly” ingest any PEDs, Kerley posited that perhaps a spirit from the supernatural realm was responsible for this misunderstanding. When asked how the unspecified substance entered his body, Kerley offered, “I don’t know. There’s a lot of ghosts around here. Ghost put it in there. You know, the ghost of Christmas past? … I don’t know,” he said, presumably shutting his eyes in the hopes that when he opened them, all the reporters would have magically disappeared.

While certainly testing the bounds of plausibility, the explanation at least varies from the garden-variety statement he made at when news of his suspension broke on Nov. 6. Kerley offered at that time, “I fully intend to investigate this matter until I am able to figure out what caused the positive test.”

As for the investigators at his disposal, one Twitter user offered a suggestion.

The situation may be a comical one from an outsider’s perspective, but Kerley’s career may hinge upon his contrition. Due to roster rules, the Jets have until Dec. 18 to decide whether to keep Kerley for the balance of the season or cut him.

With those stakes, one hopes that Kerley would put his best foot forward in explaining his actions. Or perhaps “Christmas ghosts made me do it” WAS his best foot. In which case … yikes.

That said, Christmas pageantry does take place earlier every year, so maybe those ghosts were out and about in early November.

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