GOOD

Daughter explains brutal obituary she wrote for her father about his ‘bad parenting.’

The obituary walks a fine line between uncloaked honesty and mean-spiritedness.

Everyone is entitled to a few nice words at their funeral, as the adage goes. Normally, this is a non-issue. Flaws can be ignored or overlooked for the sake of harmony and a peaceful, optimistic send-off.

But what if the flaws created too much damage and heartache to go without saying?


Sheila Smith made headlines last week with an obituary that was as honest in what can only be described as a brutal sense. Brutal for the departed, her father Leslie Ray Charping, and brutal for the family that had to endure his life and death.

Here’s the obituary in its entirety, taken from the website of Carnes Funeral Home:

Leslie Ray "Popeye" Charping was born in Galveston, Texas on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved. Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for. He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.
At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive. Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges. While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.
Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes. Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie's life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.
With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie's remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until "Ray", the family donkey's wood shavings run out. Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.

The obituary walks a fine line between uncloaked honesty and mean-spiritedness, repeatedly falling on either side. If this obituary is to be believed (no person or account has publicly questioned or denounced this characterization), his family has a right to be both angry for his life and happy for his death. However, the controversy surrounding this obituary isn’t the survivors’ feelings, but their expression of them.

Sheila, speaking to The Michael Berry Show, a radio program, stood by the obituary she wrote, claiming it was an effort to heal, forget, and minimize the residual impact his death would have on their lives. To realize this, and to fulfill her late father’s wishes, the obituary needed to be honest. She said to the show’s host, “ A week after he passed I sat down and began working on it. I was somewhat blocked and everything I was going to write was going to be a lie,” she said. “He hated a liar and he would appreciate this.”

\nSpeaking earlier to KTRK, Sheila said that those who are bothered by this or the notion of speaking ill of the dead, are fortunate to not understand. “I am happy for those that simply do not understand, this means you had good parent(s) -- please treasure what you have.”
She continued to say that whitewashing transgressions that are so endemic and undiscussed in the world, such as her father’s issues with domestic violence and alcoholism, serves no greater good.
She concluded, “I apologize to anyone that my father hurt and I felt it would have been offensive to portray him as anything other than who he was,” she also said. "This obituary was intended to help bring closure because not talking about domestic violence doesn't make it go away!”
Articles
via Real Time with Bill Maher / YouTube and The Late Late Show with James Corden / YouTube

A controversial editorial on America's obesity epidemic and healthcare by comedian Bill Maher on his HBO show "Real Time" inspired a thoughtful, and funny, response by James Cordon. It also made for a great debate about healthcare that Americans are avoiding.

At the end of the September 6th episode of "Real Time, " Maher turned to the camera for his usual editorial and discussed how obesity is a huge part of the healthcare debate that no one is having.

"At Next Thursday's debate, one of the candidates has to say, 'The problem with our healthcare system is Americans eat shit and too much of it.' All the candidates will mention their health plans but no one will bring up the key factor: the citizens don't lift a finger to help," Maher said sternly.

Keep Reading Show less
Politics

There is no shortage of proposals from the, um, what's the word for it… huge, group of Democratic presidential candidates this year. But one may stand out from the pack as being not just bold but also necessary; during a CNN town hall about climate change Andrew Yang proposed a "green amendment" to the constitution.

Keep Reading Show less
test
Me Too Kit

The creator of the Me Too kit — an at home rape kit that has yet to hit the market — has come under fire as sexual assault advocates argue the kit is dangerous and misleading for women.

The kit is marketed as "the first ever at home kit for commercial use," according to the company's website. "Your experience. Your kit. Your story. Your life. Your choice. Every survivor has a story, every survivor has a voice." Customers will soon be able order one of the DIY kits in order to collect evidence "within the confines of the survivor's chosen place of safety" after an assault.

"With MeToo Kit, we are able to collect DNA samples and other tissues, which upon testing can provide the necessary time-sensitive evidence required in a court of law to identify a sexual predator's involvement with sexual assault," according to the website.

Keep Reading Show less
Health

Villagers rejoice as they receive the first vaccines ever delivered via drone in the Congo

The area's topography makes transporting medicines a treacherous task.

Photo by Henry Sempangi Senyule

When we discuss barriers to healthcare in the developed world, affordability is commonly the biggest concern. But for some in the developing world, physical distance and topography can be the difference between life and death.

Widjifake, a hard-to-reach village in northwestern Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) with a population of 6,500, struggles with having consistent access to healthcare supplies due to the Congo River and its winding tributaries.

It can take up to three hours for vehicles carrying supplies to reach the village.

Keep Reading Show less
Health
via Keith Boykin / Twitter

Fox News and President Trump seem like they may be headed for a breakup. "Fox is a lot different than it used to be," Trump told reporters in August after one of the network's polls found him trailing for Democrats in the 2020 election.

"There's something going on at Fox, I'll tell you right now. And I'm not happy with it," he continued.

Some Fox anchors have hit back at the president over his criticisms. "Well, first of all, Mr. President, we don't work for you," Neil Cavuto said on the air. "I don't work for you. My job is to cover you, not fawn over you or rip you, just report on you."

Keep Reading Show less
Politics