Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of suicide, abuse and violence that some readers may find distressing.
Several people take family for granted but the true value of having loved ones around is something that only those growing up in foster care know about. Not only does it leave a void in their heart, but also instills the belief in them that love is supposed to be conditional. Davon Woods spent the initial 27 years of his life without a stable family facing dejection and desolation, before he was able to become a part of a loving family. One day in April 2021, when he was at his job as a car salesman, a family walked into the showroom. Unable to hold it in any longer, a vulnerable Davon expressed his desire to be a part of the family and this wholehearted confession changed his life forever, reported LoveWhatMatters.
Representative Image Source: Car salesman using a digital tablet talking about a new car to customers in a store. (FG Trade/ Getty Images)
Davon is one of the thousands of foster care children who grow up with a traumatic backstory. Right after he and his twin brother were born, they were thrown into foster care because their biological mother was unaware that she was pregnant and didn’t even visit a doctor until she got into labor. “We weighed about 2 pounds each. They said we were so small we could’ve fit in a shoebox together, and we came back positive for crack,” Davon told LoveWhatMatters. The brothers spent two years in foster care before they were adopted by the Woods family.
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Roman Odintsov
But even an adoption didn’t mark the end of their misery as things got worse. “We had a very difficult childhood with our adoptive family,” Davon shared. “We got physically and verbally abused, we were never given a voice, and they never once told us they loved us. It felt like we were just a paycheck, but we were too young and afraid to tell anyone what was happening at home.”
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Safari Consoler
Like many foster care children, the lives of Davon and his brother were filled with uncertainty, confusion, and a lot of unprocessed traumas. Davon even attempted suicide many times. “I didn’t want to live anymore because of how we were being treated, but I was never able to go through with it because I didn’t want to leave my brother alone with them,” he recalled. By the time he was 11 years old, his excruciating reality drove him into the dark realm of drugs. At the age of 18, Davon became a drug dealer. To escape their sorrow, Davon and his brother moved to Georgia.
Representative Image Source: Pexels | George Ikwegbu
In Georgia too, they ended up getting pulled into the shadows. “We ended up getting involved in the gangs there,” Davon explained. “We saw people get shot in front of us. There were times we got guns drawn on us. We could’ve lost our lives.” Then one day, their relatives from the Woods family visited them and invited them to Church. They were reluctant to go, but when they did, their lives took a positive shift. The encounter with spirituality made them feel as if the emotional holes in their heart were being filled, and they felt healed.
Soon enough, they were taking up different jobs, away from the brutal life in the streets, before Davon settled into his role as a car salesman. That’s where he met the Wilkinson family who visited the showroom, and this reignited his long-standing dream of having a family. He requested them to take him into their family and in August 2021, the Wilkinsons invited Davon over for dinner, and later that year, for Thanksgiving. After about a year of knowing them, Davon asked them if he could be a part of their family and add their last name to his name, to which they agreed.
“I just want you guys to know that you mean the world to me,” Davon can be seen telling his family in a heartwarming video. “I never had a mother to hug me, love me or show me any affection. I never had a father to teach me different things or spend quality time with, and you all showed me the definition of family.” After he became a part of this family, Davon described his feelings to LoveWhatMatters, “In them, I’ve gained a mom and dad, brothers and sisters, and a niece. I’ve gained the white family I made up as a confused child. It goes to show: color doesn’t make you family, and neither does blood. Love makes you family."
Since then, Davon has quit his job and founded “Foster Kids Matter,” an organization dedicated to serving foster children in Georgia.
You can follow Davon (@davonwoodsfc) on Instagram and TikTok for more updates on his attempts to raise awareness about foster kids.
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Love, Mom.Photo from Heidi Johnson 
A teen boy having a hard time. 
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A Facebook post about the obituary.
Why do some folks use social media but don't engage?
Psychologist says people who never comment on social media share these 5 positive traits
For over 20 years, social media has developed into a staple in many people’s day-to-day lives. Whether it’s to keep in communication with friends and family, following the thoughts of celebrities, or watching cat videos while sipping your morning coffee, there seem to be two types of social media users: commenters and lurkers.
The term “lurker” sounds equally mysterious and insidious, with some social media users writing them off as non-participants at best or voyeurs at worst. However, mindfulness expert Lachlan Brown believes these non-commenters have some very psychologically positive and healthy traits. Let’s take a look at how each one of these traits could be beneficial and see how fruitful lurking might be even though it can drive content creators crazy.
1. Cautious about vulnerability
Consciously or not, making a post online or commenting on one puts you and your words out there. It’s a statement that everyone can see, even if it’s as simple as clicking “like.” Doing so opens yourself up to judgment, with all the good, bad, and potential misinterpretation that comes with it. Non-commenters would rather not open themselves up to that.
These silent users are connected to a concept of self-protection by simply not engaging. By just scrolling past posts or just reading/watching them without commentary, they’re preventing themselves from any downsides of sharing an opinion such as rejection, misunderstanding, or embarrassment. They also have more control on how much of themselves they’re willing to reveal to the general public, and tend to be more open face-to-face or during one-on-one/one-on-few private chats or DMs. This can be seen as a healthy boundary and prevents unnecessary exposure.
Considering many comment sections, especially involving political topics, are meant to stir negative emotional responses to increase engagement, being extra mindful about where, when, and what you comment might not be a bad idea. They might not even take the engagement bait at all. Or if they see a friend of theirs post something vulnerable, they feel more motivated to engage with them personally one-on-one rather than use social media to publicly check in on them.
2. Analytical and reflective mindset
How many times have you gone onto Reddit, YouTube, or any other site and just skimmed past comments that are just different versions of “yes, and,” “no, but,” or “yes, but”? Or the ever insightful, formerly popular comment “First!” in a thread? These silent browsers lean against adding to such noise unless they have some valid and thoughtful contribution (if they bother to comment period).
These non-posters are likely wired on reflective thinking rather than their initial intuition. Not to say that all those who comment aren’t thoughtful, but many tend to react quickly and comment based on their initial feelings rather than absorbing the information, thinking it over, researching or testing their belief, and then posting it. For "lurkers," it could by their very nature to just do all of that and not post it at all, or share their thoughts and findings privately with a friend. All in all, it’s a preference of substance over speed.
3. High sense of self-awareness
Carried over from the first two listed traits, these silent social media users incorporate their concern over their vulnerability and their reflective mindset into digital self-awareness. They know what triggers responses out of them and what causes them to engage in impulsive behavior. It could be that they have engaged with a troll in the past and felt foolish. Or that they just felt sad after a post or got into an unnecessary argument that impacted them offline. By knowing themselves and seeing what’s being discussed, they choose to weigh their words carefully or just not participate at all. It’s a form of self-preservation through restraint.
4. Prefer to observe rather than perform
Some folks treat social media as information, entertainment, or a mix of both, and commenting can feel like they’re yelling at the TV, clapping alone in a movie theater when the credits roll, or yelling “That’s not true!” to a news anchor that will never hear them. But contrary to that, social media is a place where those yells, claps, and accusations can be seen and get a response. By its design, social media is considered by experts and the media as performative, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Taking all of the previously mentioned traits into account, one can see why they would prefer to “observe the play” rather than get up on the stage of Facebook or X.
On top of that, these non-commenters could be using social media differently than those who choose to fully engage with it. Using this type of navigation, there may be nothing for them to comment about. Some commenters are even vying for this for their mental health. There are articles about how to better curate your social media feeds and manipulate algorithms to create a better social media experience to avoid unnecessary conflict or mentally tiring debate.
If you go on a blocking spree on all of your accounts and just follow the posters that boost you, it could turn your social media into a nice part of your routine as you mainly engage with others face-to-face or privately. In terms of commenting, if your curated Instagram is just following cute dogs and all you have to offer for a comment is “cute dog,” you might just enjoy the picture and then move on with your day rather than join in the noise. These non-commenters aren’t in the show and they’re fine with it.
5. Less motivated by social validation
The last trait that Brown showcases is that social media users who browse without posting tend to be independent from external validation, at least online. Social media is built to grow through feedback loops such as awarding likes, shares, and reposts of your content along with notifications letting you know that a new person follows you or wants to connect. This can lead many people to connect their activity on social media with their sense of self worth, especially with adolescents who are still figuring out their place in the world and have still-developing brains.
Engaging in social media via likes, shares, comments, and posts rewards our brains by having them release dopamine, which makes us feel good and can easily become addictive. For whatever reason, non-commenters don’t rely on social media as a means to gauge their social capital or self worth. This doesn’t make them better than those who do. While some non-commenters could have healthier ways to boost their self worth or release dopamine into their systems, many get that validation from equally unhealthy sources offline. That said, many non-commenters’ silence could be a display of independence and self confidence.
Whether you frequently comment online or don’t, it’s good to understand why you do or don’t. Analyzing your habits can help you determine whether your online engagement is healthy, or needs to be tweaked. With that information, you can then create a healthy social media experience that works for you.