It’s not easy leading people, whether it’s a team at work or just getting your kid to wash the dishes correctly. It can be easily frustrating when someone forgets your instructions or, worse, plainly ignores them because they don’t see the point in them. Well, an expert on inclusive communication found an easy three-step process to ensure that your instructions are followed thoroughly.
Author, educator, and consultant Ettie Bailey-King shared on Instagram the framework that helps instructors get their instructions followed, including those who struggle with ADHD. Crediting her friend Ellie Middleton for the method, Bailey-King suggests that we approach instructions with the “what by when and why” framework. Let’s break down the framework, piece by piece.
What
Bailey-King explains that being clear about the task you want done—also known as the “what”—communicates the request and the expectation plainly.
Example: “Could you get this report completely filled out and finished?”
When
Bailey-King notes that giving a specific and legitimate deadline helps remove ambiguity, encourages focus, and reinforces expectations.
Example: “Could you get this report completely filled out and finished then email it to me today before 5:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, please?”
This is much clearer and sticks harder than “Email the report before the end of day” or “It’s due next week.”
@mr_fiske_ag and the whole class says me #fyp #highschoolteacher #agteachersoftiktok #ffaadvisor #tiktokteachers
Why
This factor is arguably the most important for several reasons. Bailey-King explains that neurodivergent people, such as those with ADHD, tend to follow instructions more effectively when they understand why the task matters and why they’re being asked to do it.
So our complete example in the “who, what, and why” framework could look like:
“Could you get this report completely filled out and finished then email it to me today before 5:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time so I can share the results with our boss and they can create a budget?”
Why the "Why" is important
Whether a person is neurodivergent or neurotypical, both academics and business consultants think that providing a “why” or a “because” along with your instructions helps ensure that they are closely followed. This helps the person being instructed understand the reasoning behind the request and the stakes if the instructions aren’t followed. It lets them feel included in the process rather than simply taking orders blindly.
In education, explaining the “why” behind assignments helps students better understand the material and see the value of the work they’re being asked to do. In business, including the “why” in workplace manuals, whether it’s part of the job’s function or safety, helps information stick better and boosts morale far more than “because the boss said so.”
@ms_tati_ Literally me reading through instructions when I need to build something. Why? 😆💀☠️ #Meme #MemeCut #CapCut #Why #instructions
On top of that, asking the “why” helps you streamline your instructions by examining the purpose of each task. If you can’t identify a clear reason for doing something a certain way, it may reveal unnecessary steps and refocus the process on what truly needs to be done to achieve the desired result. So including the “why” in the framework isn’t just helpful for the person receiving the instructions—it benefits the instructor as well.
The next time you ask someone to do a task, remember to include the “what, when, and why.” It won’t eliminate every headache or guarantee that your teen will do the dishes, but it will make your expectations clearer and make communication easier overall.
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