Adults share 11 startlingly funny things that random kids have said to them

We all seem to know at least one kid with zero filter. There’s something hilarious about that naive innocence—the youth often seem to be living in different worlds where the social rules are, let’s say, more flexible. And on that note, what’s the most startlingly funny thing a random child has ever said to you? That’s the central premise of a recent Reddit thread, where grown adults looked back at the most "unexpectedly" amusing exchanges they’ve had with kids.

The OP kicked things off with a classic, recalling how they were blindsided by a bizarre one-liner while standing in line at the bakery. "A little kid (maybe 5) suddenly turned around, looked me dead in the eyes, and said, very seriously, 'You look like someone who eats the icing first.' I have no idea what that means. Is it an insult? A personality assessment? A prophecy?"

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"His mom apologized and said he has been 'evaluating people’ lately, which somehow raised even more questions," they continued. "Evaluating them for what? Cake-related crimes? Hidden frosting habits? I spent the rest of the day wondering what vibe I radiate that made a tiny human decide I am the kind of person who attacks the icing before the cake. And the worst part is that he is right. I do exactly that. Anyway it made my whole day. Kids are tiny unfiltered comedians."

It’s hard to top that one, but here are 10 more contenders from the Reddit thread.

Some weird and cringe-inducing kid lines focused on appearance

Inevitably, in many of the responses, the kids focused on people's appearance.

"So I work as a piano teacher, and one day this little boy came into his lesson and paused for a bit, and then said...'[A]re you a mom or a kid? Mind you, I’m not married and I have no children 💀 And obviously, these were the only two options: mom or kid. So I responded that I was a 'really, really big kid.' And he paused for another minute, and he was like, “Does anyone else here know that you are a kid?' And I said, 'Some people, but not everyone. Can I trust you with this information?' And he did the whole 'lips are sealed throw away the key' motion. 😭 It was perfect. And when the lesson ended, he said, 'Don’t worry, I won’t tell my mom, so you can keep being my piano teacher.' 🤣🤣🤣

"I was walking into the library and a mom and very young daughter were coming out. The daughter comes to a rapid halt and points at me, 'Whoa! That looks like my daddy!’ Poor Mom looked absolutely mortified…"

"I wore a leather jacket that had fringe on it to a family dinner. Kids were playing outside, and when I got out of my car, one of the kids said to me, 'I didn’t know you were a cowgirl.’ Of course I replied, 'You didn’t?' Then they all went back to playing."

"I was riding the elevator with a very pregnant mom and son about 4 yrs old. He looked at my big belly and asked if I was going to have a baby too. I said, 'No, I'm just fat.' He smiled knowingly and said, 'Well, maybe next year.'"

"I jogged past this father his very young little daughter around the high school track. I saw her look at me, and I said 'hi.' She turned to her Dad and said 'What a strange man.' I was like 30 at the time and in the [best] shape of my life. Feeling the best looking i've ever been before then or since. Yet to this day I wonder 'Why did she say that?' Lol"

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Other strange interactions with random kids

"Not directly to me, but I was in the restroom at Target years ago, and I heard a kid complaining about the smell. His mom said to close his nose and he wouldn’t smell it, and he said he still could, through his eyes. She asked how, and he said, dripping with disdain and impatience at her ignorance, 'Because they’re magic eyes.'”

"That my breath smelled like ham. It was funny but am still to this day insulted."

"Photographing baseball kids’ portraits, I tell the one kid to slightly drop his chin … he looks at me in a confused way: 'I can’t. It’s just there.'”

"My bff had her 6 mth old in the grocery cart and her 4 yo was walking next to the buggy. Poor stocker kid made the mistake of trying to be funny…did not end up that way. Stocker saw the baby chewing on the handle due to teething. Stocker guy asked my friend is she ever fed the baby because he looked hungry. The 4yo got very indignant at the question, put his hands on his hips, and replied, 'Yes, she does feed him! She feeds him her boobie, and it tastes bad too!!!"

"One time in a restaurant I said to my kid something along the lines of 'master of pickles’ while talking about a huge pickle on my plate, and he yelled out into the room, 'THIS IS MASTER BACON.' He didn’t know how to pronounce things clearly yet, and it didn’t sound quite right."

What parents can say to rude children

Clearly most of these comments are puzzling, at worst. But some of them do cross the line into being offensive, and if you’re the parent of the kid in question, what’s the best tactic in shutting down rudeness? Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist popular on social media and founder of Good Inside, shared three simple responses to help keep such behavior at bay. "[W]e know if we give rudeness back to our kid, they are just going to give more rudeness back to us," she said. "That is so ineffective, and we have to be the adult."

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