Experts share the 5 social tricks to show people you're approachable when you go out

It can be difficult to meet people to make new friends or into something more. Some folks take a leap of faith to go out to bars, concerts, and other events solo with the intention of making new connections, but still end up solo at the end of the night. What could be wrong? Well, it could be that you’re not letting people know you’re approachable with your body.

Body language is a huge factor in making social connections, whether it’s in friendship, romance, or even business. While it’s likely you know how to not appear standoffish (arms folded, not making eye contact, etc.), many folks want to appear receptive to newcomers without flat out saying aloud “Please talk to me.” Luckily psychologists and human behavior specialists have some tips on how to attract people towards you in loud spaces without saying a word.

Never put anything in front of your torso

You likely heard not to cross your arms to appear like you’re closed off, but there’s more to it than that according to behavioral expert Vanessa Van Edwards. She says that not only should you keep your arms away from your chest, but to avoid blocking your torso with anything period. This includes purses, iPads, phones, and even the drink you’re holding. Be sure to keep your chest open and free to signal that you yourself are open and free, too.

Dart glances with a smile

Eye contact is a funny thing in that if you don’t do it enough you’ll appear disinterested, but if you focus too much you’ll end up staring and make people uncomfortable. If you see a person or persons you’d like to approach you, make a darting glance at them and try to make eye contact. As soon as you do, hit them with a smile to let them know that you see them and acknowledge that they saw you. This creates an invitation for them to approach you or you see their smiling response as a clue for you to approach them. You may want to do this a couple of times to further encourage a specific person to approach you, but you may also want to keep your options open by glancing and smiling at a few others, too.

Mirror others around you

While you should be able to express yourself uniquely, matching and synchronizing with another person’s posture and gestures can help create a connection. This isn’t just when you’re talking to someone but also when you’re in the general space. You appear more comfortable and “fit in” with the rest of the crowd while you’re still yourself. It’s like the saying “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…” If you’re in a one-on-one conversation matching their gestures and energy will allow them to see the similarities between you both while also making them feel comfortable speaking to you.

Keep your head up and towards the action

This may sound like obvious advice, but so many people live their lives with their head down and away. Experts say to make an effort to keep your head up, but for many reasons aside from showing confidence. Keeping your head up and angled towards the action not only displays confidence but also shows that you’re engaged with what’s around you rather than distracted or disinterested with your head in a phone or something. It also allows others to see your face, so you can flash a smile or dart a glance. How can a person come and talk to you if they don’t see you? Keep your head up to be seen.

Stand with “croissant feet”

To pair up with your open torso, the way you position your feet can subliminally let others know that you’re interested in speaking with them. It’s recommended that you angle your feet to point outward along the side in a V-like shape, mimicking the look of a croissant. These “croissant feet” being aimed towards a more open part of the bar, party, etc. allows others to see and think that you’re open to engage with.

These tips could help you find a new partner or group of friends, or at least someone interesting to talk to during an event. As one can see, there are many words, feelings, and thoughts that can be expressed between strangers before anyone even says the word “hello.” Just know that your body says a lot that just your mouth cannot convey.