Back when she was 23, Tiffany Gaines tried to buy condoms over the counter at a convenience store in New York City. She distinctly remembers how uncomfortable she felt. “It was this awkward and shameful experience, and I felt humiliated,” as the clerk used an eight-foot orange claw to pick up the condoms in front of a group of men buying beer on a Saturday night.

It was 2012, and at the time, she was a graduate student in design for social innovation at the School of Visual Arts. Gaines saw an opportunity to take what could feel like a distressing experience and turn it into making purchasing condoms empowering and fun.


In 2014, Lovability Inc. was born, and Gaines found herself running and operating a company aimed at promoting feminism through every condom purchase. But she never could have predicted the current state of affairs, with reproductive rights at risk and employers no longer covering birth control pills. As the Trump administration continually undermines women, people are taking their sexual health into their own hands more than ever before. And that puts women-owned condom companies in a rather enviable position.

[quote position=”left” is_quote=”true”]The name Trojan, it’s extremely aggressive. It’s the story of the Trojan horse sneaking its way into an impenetrable city and ravaging it.[/quote]

Gaines is one of many women bringing a different perspective to the condom industry. Talia Frenkel founded L. Condoms (which partners with organizations in Sub-Saharan Africa) in 2011 after working as a photojournalist for Red Cross and United Nations. It was during her time chronicling the AIDS and HIV crisis affecting young girls that she saw an opportunity to make a difference. “I hadn’t realized that 90% of countries in Sub-Saharan Africa go through condom stock-outs and this was really undermining the efforts of organizations on the ground working to promote awareness and usage of condoms,” she says. “There was a lot of talk about girls being our greatest impact resource and future agents of change in development, but at the end of the day, it was easier to raise funds for business micro-loans and more difficult to talk about those same girls becoming sexually active.”

Then, in 2014, Meika Hollender teamed up with her father, the co-founder of Seventh Generation, and established Sustain, a non-GMO condom company. It was the lack of eco-friendly condoms “that sort of drove us in a certain direction when we started Sustain,” Hollender says. “Coming from the background of Seventh Generation, we thought it was crazy that when it came to the most intimate parts of our bodies and what went inside women’s vaginas, there weren’t many natural options. So we saw a huge opportunity there.”

With over 450 million condoms sold in the United States alone each year, there certainly does appear to be a market, particularly with women. But two companies currently dominate the condom space in the U.S.: Trojan, which makes up 69% of condoms purchased, and Durex, which sells 15%. The other 16% is made of smaller companies like Lovability, Sustain, and L.

Statistically, women are less likely to carry condoms or even use them. The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found heterosexual men consistently use condoms at a higher rate than straight women when it comes to vaginal intercourse.

While compiling research when starting Sustain, Hollender found that 40% of condoms are purchased by women; however, Hollender also learned “that only 21% of single sexually active women use condoms regularly; 48% of pregnancies are unplanned; and 1 in 4 college freshmen contract an STI in college during her first year of school. These statistics mixed with the reality that I knew about how women feel buying condoms sort of triggered this idea and journey of building Sustain to help break the stigma of buying and carrying condoms and helping empower women to feel good about making a responsible choice.”

Why are women reluctant to buy or use condoms? Frenkel described Trojan’s hypermasculinity in their products as one example, “The name Trojan, it’s extremely aggressive. It’s the story of the Trojan horse sneaking its way into an impenetrable city and ravaging it.” Gaines added, “So many condoms are associated with hypersexuality, dominance, and masculinity, so what we’re doing [as companies] is taking condoms out of that context and redefining them as a symbol of self-love.”

And women-owned condom companies seem to be targeting women successfully. Richelle Schilling, 30, started carrying condoms consistently in the last year and has purchased her condoms through Lovability’s website. Despite taking control of her sexual health, she is aware of the stigma attached to a woman carrying her own condoms. “It seems to be viewed that if a woman is carrying a condom, she is easy to get into bed.”

Now that she has an option to support a woman-owned company with women in mind, Schilling feels more comfortable purchasing condoms. “When purchasing from a condom company that is marketed toward women, it is a reminder that women are taking control of their [sexual] lives. With the stigmas out there, it’s a reminder that other women are staying protected, enjoying their sex lives, and supporting other women,” she says.

Ariel Stallings, a publisher and author, found herself in a strange position after divorcing her husband of 18 years. When she started dating again, the thought of buying condoms felt strange and elusive. “I don’t feel a sense of shame for carrying them though,” she says, but “the idea of carrying a condom in cute packaging is appealing to me because I’m a sucker for cute packaging.”

Outside of the cute factor, however, Stallings believes there’s a benefit in creating condoms that directly focus on women. “I like to think of harm reduction. While it’s ideal for women to not feel shame for having a condom fall out of their bag because it shouldn’t be a big deal, these products are good to have available to them since we’re not in an age yet where women don’t feel shame.”

The packaging for Lovability, Sustain, and L. all have different aesthetics. Lovability’s condoms are playful and fun, coming in tin cans with sayings written on them like, “Talk Feminist to Me” or “Babe with the Power.” Lovability started the theme of the company centered around discretion and being able to hide the fact one was carrying condoms. “Now it’s much more about being proud about being a person that takes responsibility of your sexual health,” Gaines says, adding, “condoms are a very bold statement of believing in gender equality because, if you have a condom, all of a sudden you are decreasing the amount of risk from it being totally on the man to carry a condom.”

Sustain also recently rebranded itself, moving away from being too discreet. “Initially, we didn’t think about the fact that as a brand we should be really straightforward because we are bold and we aren’t trying to hide who we are. If you make it too discreet, you’re kind of buying into that idea that you should not feel comfortable that someone sees you buying condoms,” Hollender says.

Frenkel always had a sleek design in mind for her brand. “I’ll get invited to speak at this women’s event in Silicon Valley, and all I’ll see is pink and purple and stuff that’s super flowery,” she says. “I think that it’s funny because I think women are drawn to things that are clean and modern, and that’s why we went for a black and white box.”

For Olivia Gunther, a sexuality researcher at the University of Michigan, marketing condoms specifically toward women will only further stigmatize women carrying and buying condoms.

Gunther pointed to Trojan’s latest XOXO condom, which is made to look discreet and feminine. “Condom companies that do target women need to be careful with how they market their gender-defined packaging. [For example,] the XOXO box looks very feminine and is clearly supposed to comfort the typical woman who wants to purchase safer sex products. It tries to normalize the product for her by assuming that it will appeal to her feminine interests and style.” According to Gunther, this is problematic because it assumes that women do not own their sexualities in public, or in general.

“Marketing towards women needs to align itself mores with including them in the conversation about sexual health and the importance of using barrier methods when engaging in sexual activity, instead of shaming them into buying condom boxes that don’t even look like condom boxes,” Gunther says.

At Gunther’s university, she has observed a shift since the election. “I’ve noticed an uptick in my friends and other students at my university purchasing condoms more frequently. With the risk that hormonal contraceptives may not be covered or harder to access in the future, it’s imperative that women who aren’t planning on becoming pregnant in the next few years consider what their options may be.”

For Lovability, Sustain, and L., their aim is to not only help women take charge of their sexual health, but also promote philanthropic causes that support women’s rights that feel under siege. Which is another reason women are attracted to them over other more mainstream brands.

Sustain gives 10% of its proceeds to women’s health care organizations, which has resonated with more of their customers since the election. “Before the election, we received negative feedback on where people would say ‘I love your brand, but can’t support your because [Sustain] supports Planned Parenthood,’” Hollender says. “But since November, we haven’t received one of those emails.”

With every purchase of an L. condom, one is donated to a female entrepreneur in a developing country. “When I started this I wanted to make sure our condoms didn’t sit in a warehouse when we donated them and that we took a more holistic approach. These nonprofit program officers are able to pinpoint women in high impact areas, such as unplanned pregnancies or high HIV contraction rates and work with them and train them,” Frenkel says. “Then they go door to door and sell it at low market costs. That makes it a lot more likely that the product will be used. There have been reports that if you sell a mosquito net for pennies, it’s much more likely to be used than if you give it for free. You can also see that with condoms.”

[quote position=”full” is_quote=”true”]I’ll get invited to speak at this women’s event in Silicon Valley, and all I’ll see is pink and purple and stuff that’s super flowery. I think that it’s funny because I think women are drawn to things that are clean and modern.[/quote]

Lovability donates a condom to Planned Parenthood with every purchase and also employs physically and mentally disabled people from ARC San Diego to assemble their condom tins. Meanwhile, L. Condoms is putting fewer chemicals in the condoms themselves. “The World Health Organization does not recommend spermicide in condoms,” Frenkel says.

Research does appear to be leaning in this direction. Dr. Ann Duerr, HIV chief in the reproductive health division at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention told ABC News, “For sexually transmitted disease prevention, our recommendation has been to use condoms with or without nonoxynol-9. Now it’s clear that N-9 does not add protection and may be harmful.” For Frenkel, this is troublesome. “The fact that there are condoms sold with spermicide still on shelves is pretty alarming.”

Each of these companies’ condoms are free of chemical irritants, dyes, fragrances, and spermicides. As a result, the women using these condoms are experiencing less discomfort. “A lot of these chemicals are on the shelf-condom brands … that can really irritate the vaginal wall. So I think it’s not only empowering to have condoms made with women in mind, but to have control of what’s going inside your body,” Gaines says.

“We get really positive feedback from women because they’re the ones most affected by chemicals in condoms,” Hollender says. As of now, 70% of the condom purchases from Sustain are made by women.

The FDA does not require condom companies to list their ingredients, which can be nerve-racking for those who are particularly sensitive to certain chemicals or ingredients. “There’s really no way for consumers to know what’s in their products other than the companies themselves electing to tell all the ingredients,” Hollender says, adding that Sustain lists all their ingredients online and on the box. She hopes this encourages consumers to demand other companies to also have a level of transparency.

“If you look at all the messages we receive about sex, generally most of this information started in a room of men discussing how things should be taught and it’s told from their worldview,” says Gaines. “And I think there’s an opportunity for women to really rewrite the script around what it means to practice safe [sex] and what it means to be sexually healthy and have sexual wellness.”

Women may not have overthrown the major condom brands just yet, let alone the political and cultural systems that deem their sexual health a low priority. But as they start making big money in an industry that’s long been the domain of men, tucking a condom into one’s purse feels less like a backup option and more of a radical act.

  • Licensed therapist says these 3 steps stop rude people from hijacking your mind
    Woman exhausted by man's poor behavior.Photo credit: Canva

    Licensed therapist Jeffrey Meltzer offers three steps for dealing with rude people. In his helpful TikTok post under the name therapytothepoint, he suggests helpful tactics that go far beyond setting simple boundaries.

    Rude people are almost impossible to avoid, and the instinct to snap back or make a passive-aggressive remark can be strong. Meltzer shares some practical mental health advice that can lead to a calmer resolution.

    It Begins With Emotional Regulation

    Some individuals might believe that other people are responsible for how they make us feel. Meltzer suggests that self-regulation is an important first step to dealing with disrespectful people. Despite instincts to retaliate or escalate the situation, staying calm is more effective.

    Meltzer proposes that reciprocating aggression will only embolden a rude person and even justify their poor behavior. Instead, calmness and controlling our emotions will disrupt the pattern. Meltzer explains, “You might feel angry, embarrassed, disrespected, but calmness is about your behavior, despite the internal chaos you may be having. At the end of the day, emotional regulation is your strength, and reactivity gives your power away.”

    A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine found that people’s ability to reappraise a stressful event in a more balanced way was strongly linked to greater resilience and better recovery from stress. The strategy helps people stay calmer by changing how the brain interprets the event.

    life hacks, behavior, Jeffrey Meltzer, sarcasm, emotional regulation
    A woman is rudely interrupted on the phone.
    Photo credit Canva

    Passive Aggression Is NOT a Solution

    An easy response might be the simple eye roll, sarcasm, or a retaliatory personal dig. Meltzer points out that these are only ego attempts to win an unwinnable situation. “Instead, be straightforward. I’m open to talking about this, but not like that. It’s hard for me to connect when you speak to me that way.” Meltzer explains that these tactics bring clarity and remove the defensive guard of said rude individuals.

    A 2026 study in Psychology Today reported that passive-aggressive behaviors worsen relationship dynamics and fail to resolve disagreements. Criticism, ostracism (ignoring others), and sabotage all undermine cooperation and relational success.

    frustrating, passive aggressive, solutions, mental health
    A man blows a dandelion in a woman’s face.
    Photo credit Canva

    Role play works

    Practice makes perfect has value in dealing with rude people. “You don’t magically become composed under pressure; you train for it.” Meltzer continues, “Practice with a friend. Practice with your therapist. Have them be rude. Respond calmly. Respond assertively. Respond clearly. Because in real life, you don’t rise to the moment, you fall to your level of preparation.”

    A 2024 study in the National Library of Medicine revealed that an individual’s level of assertiveness can be trained. The strategy of preparation reduced feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.

    meditation, annoying people, strategies, peace of mind
    Interrupting a meditation.
    Photo credit Canva

    Stay Calm, Be Assertive, and Practice

    The solutions offered by Meltzer seem to resonate. Several people reveal their own struggles when facing similar predicaments. These are some of their comments:

    “Practice with a therapist? Why didn’t I think of that”

    “You don’t rise to the moment you fall to the level of your preparation. I’m gonna memorize that.”

    “I’m waiting for you to write a book about all your amazing insights”

    “I can handle them but i internalize later n let it ruin my day”

    “The real skill is knowing when to ignore and when to address it. Not everything deserves your energy.”

    “Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength. Just say that to them and if they continue, walk away with a smile.”

    Meltzer advises that the best way to handle rudeness begins with how we respond. Diffusing a situation helps maintain peace of mind. Remaining composed helps control our own reactions. In the end, rehearsing for success allows us to stay confident when difficult situations arise.

  • Love educator shares how awkward flirting can be turned into a romantic superpower
    A couple flirts on the dance floor.Photo credit: Canva

    In a recent TED Talk, love coach Francesca Hogi shared how even your awkward flirting can be a superpower. Sometimes mistaken as off-putting, flirting actually offers a powerful gateway to real human connection.

    By reframing flirting as an act of curiosity, she explains how anyone can kickstart attraction and open the door to lasting love. In an impassioned presentation, Hogi demystifies flirting and explains why building attraction matters.

    Flirting can be a superpower

    Hogi explains that for 12 years she’s been helping people fall in love as both a matchmaker and a coach. “As a love professional, I can assure you that many dating problems can be solved with flirting,” Hogi says. “If you’re single, it helps you to connect and fall in love. If you’re partnered, it helps you to reignite or maintain the spark of chemistry that brought you together in the first place.”

    Many might have concerns about their ability to flirt. Will they be received well, or are they even doing it right? Hogi explains, “I’ve got good news for the introverts out there. You don’t have to be extroverted to be a magnet for connection. In fact, I believe that introverts have a secret advantage when it comes to flirting because your efforts at being more open feel more genuinely inspired by another person and therefore special.”

    She shares that flirting can give you confidence and courage. She also acknowledges that feeling awkward is normal. “Confidence with flirting comes from knowing yourself, your intentions, reading the room, discerning other people’s reactions, and adapting accordingly,” she says. “Sometimes it’s going to be awkward, sometimes it’s going to be embarrassing, and that’s okay.”

    flirtation, connection, mental health, good vibes, sexuality
    A couple enjoys flirting.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Healthy flirting

    “Flirting gives you more agency over human connection,” says Hogi.

    She then describes the two foundational principles of healthy flirting. The first is presence: being in the moment and avoiding distractions like a phone or the surrounding environment. The second is enthusiasm. Getting the right vibe while being enthusiastic goes a long way toward mastering the art of flirting. These principles have a strong effect on other people.

    Hogi explains that expressing positive intentions has a large impact on outcomes:

    “You have the ability to leave other people feeling good for having interacted with you…Even your unspoken appreciation for a shared moment of connection, no matter how brief, can often be felt. Lean into being the version of you who leaves other people with a smile on their face and notice how much more magnetic you become.”

    community, expression, humor, self-confidence, self-esteem
    A flirtatious interaction.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Hogi inspires the crowd

    People seem quite taken with Hogi’s energy and charisma. Some of the comments expressed admiration for her vibe and flirtatious delivery on stage. Hogi was sharing her own version of flirting as a superpower:

    “Even this presentation feels like shes flirting…especially her laughs”

    “She is such a good public speaker, ten minutes of speech with no filler words whatsoever”

    “Flirting is a way making one feel seen and acknowledged.”

    “Where were you, Francesca, when I needed these words? Like, 40 years ago? Never too late, right?”

    “Had me clapping in the end! She’z good”

    “I feel better about my flirting abilities after watching this now.”

    “She’s good , reading her body language generally teaches me more about flirting than learning it itself”

    gender, attraction, laws of attraction, social skills, personality traits
    A vintage photo of a couple flirting.
    Photo credit: Canva

    The power behind a flirtatious connection

    Flirting can have a powerful effect on both the initiator and the person on the receiving end. It isn’t necessarily about romance or sex. It helps build and strengthen relationships in everyday life.

    A 2025 study on ResearchGate analyzed where and how people flirt. The results suggested that people who flirt can improve with practice. The best flirting involved humor, confidence, and social skills. A 2026 study on ScienceDirect found that flirting can be an effective way for people to express their personality and individual differences. While personality traits and sex were linked to how often and how skillfully people flirted, these influences had only modest effects on overall outcomes.

    Hogi suggests flirting requires nuance and a little bit of courage. Practice prepares you for any occasion. “Attentiveness, compliments, playfulness—there’s nothing complicated about these actions, yet they have the potential to spark and sustain connection over time,” she says. “That’s a true superpower we can all tap into.”

    Hogi and the research suggest flirting isn’t just a trivial social game. It’s a meaningful way to express personality, build connections, and boost self-confidence. Flirting isn’t shallow. It doesn’t need to involve manipulation or outcome-obsessed action. These small everyday acts of courage embolden human connection and reveal individual superpowers in all of us.

  • Retired U.S. Navy chief explains how to end discipline anxiety with wholesome ‘butler’ trick
    (LEFT) A cluttered closet. (RIGHT) Chase Hughes.Photo credit: Canva and YouTube

    During an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, retired U.S. Navy chief Chase Hughes explained how to end discipline anxiety. Using a simple perspective shift, often referred to as the “butler” trick, he describes a method of “prioritizing the needs of our future self.”

    Hughes shares that understanding discipline is one of the fastest ways to change everything in our lives. We might wish discipline would arrive like a lightning bolt of motivation. However, Hughes suggests the solution lies in our relationship with discipline and the perspective we take on it, which ultimately relieves our anxiety.

    End discipline anxiety

    Hughes begins by explaining the importance of understanding what discipline actually is: “I define discipline as your ability to prioritize the needs of your future self ahead of your present self.” He goes on to explain that a simple reframing can change the link between discipline and anxiety.

    “If I can start looking backwards with gratitude, [it] is the fastest way to make discipline dopamine-generating,” Hughes says. “I want past-tense me to be a source of dopamine for present-tense me. Cause most of us look back with regret. ‘I shouldn’t have drank that much. I shouldn’t have mouthed off at the family reunion. You know whatever it is, I shouldn’t have overslept.’”

    discipline, butler tick, anxiety, service, community
    A butler ready to be of service.
    Photo credit: Canva

    The butler trick for discipline

    Instead, it’s possible to prioritize long-term endeavors over short-term desires. In the full YouTube video of the interview, Hughes describes the butler trick as a way of treating your future self as someone you can serve today, just like a butler. The concept of looking forward with concerned awareness and backward with gratitude can help release the connection between anxiety and discipline. This reframing and release of negativity help people better motivate themselves and manage their present circumstances.

    A 2025 study in SAGE Journals found that future self-orientation directly impacts discipline-related outcomes. This trick can lead to meaningful behavior change. By reframing our relationship with the past, we directly affect our relationship with discipline and procrastination. A 2023 study published by Springer Nature found that procrastination and self-control significantly influence attitudes toward time. How someone relates to time ultimately shapes whether discipline feels easy or overwhelming.

    Butler trick, discipline, time management, consistency, habit loops
    A woman realizes she is late.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Thoughts on the butler trick

    Viewers seemed universally impressed by the solution Hughes offers in the butler trick for discipline. Here are some of their thoughts:

    “I love it when Past Me has done something great to support Future Me. Sometimes it’s all I got, but it’s enough.”

    “This is the best advice on discipline I’ve ever heard in my life”

    “He’s giving you the blueprint for ultimate self care”

    “Be methodically organized and make your life less complicated and more suitable to your needs.”

    “I’ve heard everything can be looked at as a learning opportunity. Selfless gratitude + learning seems like a strong combo.”

    “Be my own butler. Love this!”

    self-discipline, self-mastery, perseverance, determination, butler trick
    Self-discipline is defined as controlling one’s own desires.
    Photo credit: Canva

    Discipline changes everything

    Hughes underscores the value discipline has in changing our lives:

    “Discipline is kind of the gateway drug to everything else in authority, and it’s the gateway to composure. But getting your discipline modified is one of the fastest ways to make everything else change.”

    Discipline can mistakenly be associated with punishment and rigid routine management. With Hughes’ framing, it might be better described as stewardship. Instead of battling the present, you can serve the future. The butler trick can help us all be more thoughtful toward the person we are becoming.

    You can watch the full interview with Chase Hughes on The Diary of a CEO podcast below:

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