A new University of Michigan experiment published in Cognition & Emotion is showing that sometimes labels do matter. They have found that people who are experiencing solitude are less lonely when they refer to it as “me-time” rather than “isolation.” They have found that just labeling it as “me-time” improves the person’s perceptions and boosts positive feelings, regardless of where the lonely period is taking place or any activity being done.
In two separate studies, Micaela Rodriguez and Scott W. Campbell examined how “me-time,” “isolation,” and other terms used to describe time alone impacted a person’s emotions, behavior, and perception during their solo experiences. The first study had 500 U.S. adults assigned to one of five labels to describe alone time: me-time, time alone, solitude, being alone, or isolation. Each person’s rating on their assigned term was based on several aspects, including how positive or negative the term itself felt, the perception of that term’s impact on a person’s well-being, and whether the participant would actively seek out or avoid that type of alone time. The participants were also encouraged to share their experiences associated with the term they were assigned. The results revealed significant differences among the terms, with “isolation” being the less desirable and “me-time” being the most sought after, given that the latter time is implied and associated with other terms such as “self-care” and “relaxation” while “isolation” leaned more towards social exclusion.
What is good alone time versus unhealthy alone time?Photo credit: Canva
The second study had 145 undergrad students complete a survey measuring their baseline beliefs about alone time and its association with self-esteem, loneliness, and social support. They were then randomly placed into a 30-minute period of solitude framed either as “me-tme” or “isolation.” These sessions were in a self-selected location in which the participants weren’t allowed to use their phones or the internet, but could do non-social activities such as writing, reading, or drawing. After their solo session was completed, they rated their emotions and the experience, while describing the thoughts they had during their experience alone. They then reassessed the beliefs they had about alone time prior to the session. The results found that the participants who were told to have “me-time” had more positive feedback than the people who were told to have 30 minutes of “isolation,” even though there was no difference between the two in the study other than linguistics. Many of the “me-time” participants did the same activities during their alone time as the “isolated” participants, but there was still a difference in how they perceived their sessions.
So what does this mean? Many folks who spend a lot of time on their own might be wondering if it’s healthy for them, especially those who enjoy it. Knowing that the right labeling of their alone time could impact their outlook on it, but at the same time there are studies out there showing that living alone and lack of social interaction increases the risk of depression and dementia in adults. So positive or negative labeling aside, what is healthy “me-time” and unhealthy “isolation”?
Exercising by yourself could be good for your body and mind.Photo credit: Canva
Well, it kind of depends on the purpose of your alone time. There are benefits to it, such as taking moments of self-reflection and letting your brain defragment/decompress. “Healthy” alone time can include working out, reading, doing something creative like painting or sculpting, or spiritual practices like meditation or prayer.
In terms of “unhealthy” alone time, well, that depends. It’s not the same amount for everyone given the different reasons for alone time and a person’s personality. However, a general metric is that folks that spend over 75% of their time alone tend to be experiencing loneliness rather than enjoying or working in solitude. If you turn down an invitation from friends, ask yourself why. If its due to a lack of confidence or a negative self image, that’s different than turning it down because you’re “peopled out.” If you are experiencing heavy periods of alone time and find yourself spending it in bed, thinking negatively about it, or experiencing negative self-talk during it, just labeling it as “me-time” probably won’t remove those issues.
How you spend your alone time could indicate whether it is healthy.Photo credit: Canva
If you are indeed experiencing loneliness, you may want to reach out to friends and family to shake things up in your routine by scheduling a lunch or doing a needed errand together. If that doesn’t feel possible, many people consult a therapist or counselor that can help create a plan to reduce loneliness or find its root source. In short, it may be helpful to reflect upon what you’re experiencing when you’re by yourself to see if it's beneficial for you.
Whatever the case, the fact is that when it comes to feeling alone, you’re not alone.
Ultrasound of human baby.Image via 
IVF animated process.Image via 
A couple speaks with a fertility professional.Image via 
Love, Mom.Photo from Heidi Johnson 
A teen boy having a hard time. 
Hands hold a digital representation of the brain.Image via 
Mother and daughter work a puzzle.Image via 
Man and woman connect under the sunshine.Image via
Why do some folks use social media but don't engage?
Psychologist says people who never comment on social media share these 5 positive traits
For over 20 years, social media has developed into a staple in many people’s day-to-day lives. Whether it’s to keep in communication with friends and family, following the thoughts of celebrities, or watching cat videos while sipping your morning coffee, there seem to be two types of social media users: commenters and lurkers.
The term “lurker” sounds equally mysterious and insidious, with some social media users writing them off as non-participants at best or voyeurs at worst. However, mindfulness expert Lachlan Brown believes these non-commenters have some very psychologically positive and healthy traits. Let’s take a look at how each one of these traits could be beneficial and see how fruitful lurking might be even though it can drive content creators crazy.
1. Cautious about vulnerability
Consciously or not, making a post online or commenting on one puts you and your words out there. It’s a statement that everyone can see, even if it’s as simple as clicking “like.” Doing so opens yourself up to judgment, with all the good, bad, and potential misinterpretation that comes with it. Non-commenters would rather not open themselves up to that.
These silent users are connected to a concept of self-protection by simply not engaging. By just scrolling past posts or just reading/watching them without commentary, they’re preventing themselves from any downsides of sharing an opinion such as rejection, misunderstanding, or embarrassment. They also have more control on how much of themselves they’re willing to reveal to the general public, and tend to be more open face-to-face or during one-on-one/one-on-few private chats or DMs. This can be seen as a healthy boundary and prevents unnecessary exposure.
Considering many comment sections, especially involving political topics, are meant to stir negative emotional responses to increase engagement, being extra mindful about where, when, and what you comment might not be a bad idea. They might not even take the engagement bait at all. Or if they see a friend of theirs post something vulnerable, they feel more motivated to engage with them personally one-on-one rather than use social media to publicly check in on them.
2. Analytical and reflective mindset
How many times have you gone onto Reddit, YouTube, or any other site and just skimmed past comments that are just different versions of “yes, and,” “no, but,” or “yes, but”? Or the ever insightful, formerly popular comment “First!” in a thread? These silent browsers lean against adding to such noise unless they have some valid and thoughtful contribution (if they bother to comment period).
These non-posters are likely wired on reflective thinking rather than their initial intuition. Not to say that all those who comment aren’t thoughtful, but many tend to react quickly and comment based on their initial feelings rather than absorbing the information, thinking it over, researching or testing their belief, and then posting it. For "lurkers," it could by their very nature to just do all of that and not post it at all, or share their thoughts and findings privately with a friend. All in all, it’s a preference of substance over speed.
3. High sense of self-awareness
Carried over from the first two listed traits, these silent social media users incorporate their concern over their vulnerability and their reflective mindset into digital self-awareness. They know what triggers responses out of them and what causes them to engage in impulsive behavior. It could be that they have engaged with a troll in the past and felt foolish. Or that they just felt sad after a post or got into an unnecessary argument that impacted them offline. By knowing themselves and seeing what’s being discussed, they choose to weigh their words carefully or just not participate at all. It’s a form of self-preservation through restraint.
4. Prefer to observe rather than perform
Some folks treat social media as information, entertainment, or a mix of both, and commenting can feel like they’re yelling at the TV, clapping alone in a movie theater when the credits roll, or yelling “That’s not true!” to a news anchor that will never hear them. But contrary to that, social media is a place where those yells, claps, and accusations can be seen and get a response. By its design, social media is considered by experts and the media as performative, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Taking all of the previously mentioned traits into account, one can see why they would prefer to “observe the play” rather than get up on the stage of Facebook or X.
On top of that, these non-commenters could be using social media differently than those who choose to fully engage with it. Using this type of navigation, there may be nothing for them to comment about. Some commenters are even vying for this for their mental health. There are articles about how to better curate your social media feeds and manipulate algorithms to create a better social media experience to avoid unnecessary conflict or mentally tiring debate.
If you go on a blocking spree on all of your accounts and just follow the posters that boost you, it could turn your social media into a nice part of your routine as you mainly engage with others face-to-face or privately. In terms of commenting, if your curated Instagram is just following cute dogs and all you have to offer for a comment is “cute dog,” you might just enjoy the picture and then move on with your day rather than join in the noise. These non-commenters aren’t in the show and they’re fine with it.
5. Less motivated by social validation
The last trait that Brown showcases is that social media users who browse without posting tend to be independent from external validation, at least online. Social media is built to grow through feedback loops such as awarding likes, shares, and reposts of your content along with notifications letting you know that a new person follows you or wants to connect. This can lead many people to connect their activity on social media with their sense of self worth, especially with adolescents who are still figuring out their place in the world and have still-developing brains.
Engaging in social media via likes, shares, comments, and posts rewards our brains by having them release dopamine, which makes us feel good and can easily become addictive. For whatever reason, non-commenters don’t rely on social media as a means to gauge their social capital or self worth. This doesn’t make them better than those who do. While some non-commenters could have healthier ways to boost their self worth or release dopamine into their systems, many get that validation from equally unhealthy sources offline. That said, many non-commenters’ silence could be a display of independence and self confidence.
Whether you frequently comment online or don’t, it’s good to understand why you do or don’t. Analyzing your habits can help you determine whether your online engagement is healthy, or needs to be tweaked. With that information, you can then create a healthy social media experience that works for you.