Once, a long time ago, one of us, Bethany, fell behind at the grocery store and was trying to catch up. She called out her mom's name, "Mom!," and to her frustration, half the women there turned around and the other half ignored Bethany, assuming it was someone else's child.
How was Bethany going to get her mom's attention? She knew a secret trick that would work for sure: Her mom had another name. She called "Denise!" and magically, just her mom (the other one of us) turned around.
But why do almost all kids use the same name for their parents? This is the kind of question we enjoy investigating as scientists who study families and human development.
The sounds heard 'round the world
All around the world, the words for "mom," "dad," "grandma" and "grandpa" are almost the same. Other words aren't nearly as similar.
Take "dog," for example. In French, "dog" is "chien"; in Dutch, it is "hond"; and in Hungarian, it is "kutya." But if you needed to get your mother's attention in France, the Netherlands or Hungary, you'd call "Maman," "Mama" or "Mamma."
You can say "Mom" in any country in the world and people would pretty much know who you meant. And did you notice that "Dad" is also similar across languages – "Papa," "Baba," "Tad" and "Dad"?
Scientists have noticed the same thing. George Peter Murdock was an anthropologist, which is a scientist who studies people and cultures. Pete, as his friends called him, traveled the globe back in the 1940s and collected information about families from all over. He discovered 1,072 similar words for "mom" and "dad."
Pete handed this data over to linguists, the scientists who study language, and challenged them to figure out why these words sound the same. Roman Jakobson, a famous linguist and literary theorist, then wrote an entire chapter on "mama" and "papa."
The first sounds infants make are those that are made with the lips and are easily seen: m, b and p. These sounds are quickly followed by other sounds that can be easily seen: t and d. It's possible that as infants practice making these easy sounds (mamamamama) or produce these sounds while nursing or drinking from a bottle, the mother hears "mama." She then smiles with joy and says, "Mama! You said Mama!"
Of course, the baby is happy to see the mother happy, so the baby says it again. Bingo, "Mama" is born. Similarly, the baby may practice "dadadadada" or "papapapa" and the parents' reactions result in the baby repeating "dada" or "papa."
These words refer to the two most important people in most babies' lives, followed closely by similar words for grandparents – nana, tata, bobcia, nonno, opa, omo – who often play important roles, as well.
Reinforcing everyone's roles
But there's more to this story. Once children can say many sounds, why don't they call their parents Ella, Zoheb, Dipankar or Denise?
It's because we all have rules that most of us follow. These are rules related to our cultures, our societies and even our families. We have rules for how to greet people (shake hands, hug), how to use forks or chopsticks, what to call our teacher ("Mrs. Bell") and even where to sit at the dinner table.
We don't think of these things as "rules"; they're just there. One of these kinds of rules in most families around the world is that parents are the heads of the household and children are supposed to listen to them. By calling parents "Mom" or "Dad," it helps everyone stick to their roles.
Some parents feel that if you call them by their first name, you don't think they are the boss anymore (and parents generally don't like that). But every family is different, which is part of what makes life so interesting. Some families have their own rules that might differ from your family's rules.
Most kids call their mom "Mom," but some kids don't and that's OK. For example, for our family rules, our kids may occasionally call us "Denise" and "Mom Bethany."
The next time you call out "Mom!" in the store, whether in New York, Paris, Hong Kong or Durban, watch how many mothers turn around. It's all because of a mixture of biology (easy sounds to see and make), environment (parents being happy you said this and smiling) and culture (rules).
If you have children when you grow up, what do you want them to call you?
Bethany Van Vleet is a Senior Lecturer in Family and Human Development, Arizona State University
Denise Bodman is Principal Lecturer in Social and Family Dynamics, Arizona State University
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21 products that are gaslighting us into thinking they’re essential when they’re not
Some things in life are actually necessary—clean water, decent healthcare, basic human decency. But then there are the things that feel like they’re gaslighting us. The things we’re told we can’t live without, even though we survived just fine before they existed. Things like "smart" fridges, lawn fertilizer services, and yes—whole body deodorant.
Recently, our sister-site Upworthy asked their Facebook audience the question: What's a product or service that feels like it's gaslighting all of us into thinking it's necessary? More than 8,000 responses poured in. The answers were passionate, funny, and surprisingly unified.
Here are 21 products, services, and systems people called out for pretending to be essential—when they might actually be optional, overpriced, or flat-out invented.
1. Whole body deodorant
"Take a shower," said Shannon H.
“How did we ever manage all those years without it!! 😂😵💫” added Karen R.
Others noted it may help people with medical conditions—but for the average person, it's definitely a marketing creation.
2. Health insurance
It topped the list. Erica L. explained: “My doctor prescribes, the pharmacist issues meds, nurses care for people, surgeons do surgery—Health Insurance stands between health care and patients and says no, exclusively on whether they think it’s financially effective to treat you.”
Important note: Health insurance can provide life-saving access for many—but what people are frustrated by here is the profit-first system, not care itself.
3. The wedding industry
Multiple people slammed the high cost of modern weddings.
JoElla B. put it plainly: “We spend too much time and money planning one day, and not enough thought on how to blend two lives in a mutually beneficial one.”
Others called out expensive dresses, venues, and pressure to perform for social media.
4. Bottled water
Carole D. said: “Water in plastic bottles! Get a cup!”
While bottled water has value in emergencies, it’s often just filtered tap water—sold for profit in plastic.
5. Baby product overload
“Most baby products,” wrote Kelli O. “They really aren’t as needy and complicated as companies want us to think.”
6. Fabric softener
“It’s bad for clothes, bad for the Earth, bad for the wallet, and totally unnecessary,” said Gail H.
Some experts agree—many softeners contain chemicals that can reduce fabric lifespan and irritate skin.
7. Smart appliances
“Adding ‘phone controls’ to every appliance instead of making them last as long as they used to,” wrote Sherry S.
When your fridge needs a software update, something’s gone off the rails.
8. Makeup and anti-aging products
“Anything anti-aging,” said Melissa T., “Please just let me age into the gargoyle I was meant to become.”
Others questioned products designed to “fix” eyelashes, eyebrows, pores, and graying hair.
April S. added, “Products that women are convinced they MUST have in order to be ‘beautiful’ and therefore ‘loved.’”
9. Cosmetic surgery
Ron P. called out the industry as a whole. And while body autonomy matters, many commenters questioned whether insecurities are being commodified and sold back to us.
10. Ticketmaster and “convenience fees”
“Let’s go back to waiting in line at a record store,” wrote Nicole C.
Zaida B. added: “Convenience fee for online purchases—then charging $10 more at the actual event.”
11. Engagement rings
James P. didn’t mince words: “Engagement rings.”
The diamond industry has long been criticized for manufactured scarcity and marketing-fueled necessity.
12. Lawn chemicals and services
“Plant native grasses and you don’t have the pests or need for constant watering,” wrote Jamie B.
Environmental groups have raised similar concerns over runoff and unnecessary pesticide use.
13. AI and generative tech
“This stuff squeezes the lifeblood and individuality out of the human experience,” said Teresa L.
Saskia D. and others echoed skepticism about its necessity, even as many of us are being pushed to use it.
14. Funeral services
Amy W. shared: “My parents both have already paid to have themselves cremated and are very adamant that they do not want anything big done for them. In their words, ‘I won’t care, I’m dead.’”
Of course, some families find comfort in tradition—but the cost and pressure can feel overwhelming and predatory.
15. Rinse and repeat
Amy D. nailed it: “It’s just to sell more. Not even sure you need it at all.”
16. Credit Card Surcharges
Shawn S. took aim at the extra fees popping up at checkout: “That is the cost of doing business and shouldn’t be the burden of the purchaser.”
Many questioned why customers are increasingly being asked to pay extra simply for the convenience of using a card.
17. Constant phone upgrades
“Apple are notorious for releasing the same shit every year,” said Steph S.
Diana H. added, “Needing to upgrade our phones so frequently.”
Built-in obsolescence and marketing cycles drive most of the demand.
18. Vitamins and supplements
“If I took every supplement they say I NEED I wouldn’t need food. Nor could I afford it,” said Tausha L.
19. Fake pockets on women’s pants
Jessica W. said, “I have to buy men’s pants for work because women’s pants would just get torn up too fast!”
Form over function, and then they charge more for it.
20. Disposable everything
“The ‘convenience’ of disposable everything,” said Rick R.
It’s killing the planet—and draining wallets.
21. Tipping
“I’m sick of supplementing for corporations that refuse to pay a living wage,” wrote Susan V.
Tipping culture has evolved into something far removed from its original intent, and for many, it now feels like a burden shifted onto the customer.
The bigger picture
People aren’t saying all these things should vanish tomorrow. But when we start seeing convenience sold as necessity, and insecurity turned into billion-dollar markets, it's worth asking: who benefits from all of this?
And more importantly—who pays?
This article originally appeared earlier this year.