Men are more afraid of the dark than women, plus more sleep secrets no one talks about​

My wife is currently in her late 30s, and for the entire 17 years I’ve known her, she’s been leery of the dark. Let’s say we’re winding down for bed and she mutters, "I left my medicine in the car," there’s a 100-percent chance I’ll be the one stumbling out to the driveway, shirtless and bleary-eyed, to grab it. (Apologies to my neighbors.) But I don’t blame her—in the right setting, I also find these post-midnight trips kinda creepy, despite the centering mantras my brain keeps repeating.

So how many people are just like her? Do most adults grow out of fearing the dark, or do many of us continue to glimpse our insecurities in the void? Turns out we have some interesting data to illuminate those points. When Talker Research surveyed 2,000 Americans in September, 29% of respondents admitted they "still harbor this childhood fear well into adulthood." Also notable is that men (33%) had slightly higher rates than women (26%).

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How do adults handle being afraid of the dark?

People deal with this fear in a variety of ways—25% of respondents said they sleep with a nightlight, and 10% keep their lights on through the night. (As someone who would prefer the tomb-like atmosphere of being engulfed in complete blackness, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around this one, but you do you!) The study once again found a disparity between men and women, with the former more than twice as likely (15% compared to 7%) to keep the lights fully on.

The survey features additional sleep data, including information on daylight saving time—a subject that apparently confuses a large swath of the population. "Nearly one-third" of respondents believed they would lose an hour of sleep with the recent time change (November 2), though we all, of course, gained one. It’s also interesting that 20% of people said it would take them more than one week to adjust to the time change. (No surprise here, given the ongoing nationwide debate over this topic, but a whopping 62% said they would prefer to eliminate daylight savings altogether.)

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Where does our fear of the dark come from?

But let’s get back to our original point. We know that many adults are afraid of the dark, but where does that fear come from? Cleveland Clinic says that this fear, which has the technical name nyctophobia, could date back to our ancestors, who "slept out in the open," resulting in exposure to dangerous predators. But there's also an unease related to the unknown, a dread that could date back to kids imagining "monsters or robbers" out in the darkness. Cleveland Clinic notes that a traumatic experience, even one that occurs during daylight hours, can have the same result.

Are there any practical measures people can take to control this fear? Regardless of age, it can be helpful to manage light levels through night lights, dimmer switches, and hallway lighting—but according to Stephen Whiteside, director of the Pediatric Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Mayo Clinic's Children’s Center, it’s still crucial to practice being in the dark. "Turning more lights on likely continues the problem," he told USA Today. WebMD also recommends "using cognitive thinking" to change your mindset, practice relaxation techniques, and try exposure therapy.

And if you, like me, happen to live with someone who fears the dark, don’t put them down for it. I’m no expert on this topic, but I’d offer this bit of advice: You might not be in the mood to throw off the covers and groggily grab your wife’s medicine from the car, but it’s the considerate thing to do.

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