Playfully teasing your kids might be the secret to raising smarter, happier people

It's fun to have a good laugh. Maybe, selfishly it's even better when at the expense of someone else. But, it is definitely a rare gem after all the work a parent puts into raising a child, when a silly dig is particularly hilarious. Playful teasing has been shown to raise the intelligence and over all happiness of kids.

Teasing involves the delicate balance of aggression and lighthearted goofiness. Coming on too strong or harsh, it can easily cross the line into bullying. There must be a playfulness, and what themes and topics chosen for the game of it are very important.

Father teases son with a tie on his own head.Image via Canva - Photo by Pornpimon Rodchua

What are the studies telling us?

Dr. Carol Bishop Mills, an assistant professor at The University of Alabama states in an article for the UA News Center, "Research shows us that even very young children can recognize that teasing is not always bad; that sometimes it can be a fun way to play with friends and family." When teasing is recognized by both parties, children learn to show affection, resolve conflict, and better understand the limits of social boundaries.

In an article by PsyPost, a study on parenting with humor found it promoted cognitive flexibility, a skill that involves adapting to evolving situations and finding creative solutions. Research into the study revealed humor had important benefits. Misdirection through humor can help diffuse a tense situation heading for conflict. Children were able to learn from the creative skill demonstrated by their parents and model their own version of problem-solving skills. A strong example offered for helpful teasing was a parent faking a robust tantrum. A toddler about to express themselves with a tantrum of their own might find it all funny and start laughing instead.

A study at the University of Sheffield published in Neuroscience News identified, "... these studies reveal a mechanism by which toddlers learn to distinguish joking and pretending. Parents offer explicit cues to distinguish these intentions, and toddlers use these cues to guide their own behaviors, which in turn allows toddlers to distinguish these intentional contexts." Learning how to joke, think outside of the box, and enjoy life are all important tools in maintaining healthy relationships.

Reddit discusses trolling your kids

If you want to gain some insights and learn from real people, do some exploring on the website Reddit. In a thread titled, Troll Your Kids, a redditor discussed coming across a TikTok mom that posts videos trolling her kids. They went on to talk about playfully teasing their own children, and how fun it is. People had some great responses in the comment section:

• "We do Parkour! (Office Style) all over our house. Fall into bed: Parkour! do a tiny jump over a toy? Parkour!"
• "Our toddlers have to shout 'Oh yeah' in a wrestler voice before they get a snack"
• "Last night I tried to convince my son he had 4 fingers. Then he turned around and played the same joke on his dad. I was so proud"
• "My husband and I do really old sounding voices and call each other Bob and Marge. Now our kids yell Bob or Marge in old people voices when the need us"
• "My kid lost it yesterday in the car when my husband told him 'Don't star no stuff won't be no stuff'. Now he goes around repeating it"
• "i'm not even sure where it started, but when my kids ask what's for dinner, the answer is poop sandwiches."
• "Any time we were hurrying anywhere we said, 'get to the choppah!' with our best Arnold accent. One time we were rushing back to our parking meter and this little five year old voice yelled 'get to the Choppah, mom!' made heads turn"
• "Love this! Now I'm on a mission to make things more fun around here!"

The TikTok mom

There's a mom on TikTok under the name reelmomstuff that posted a video about teasing her children. She writes in the post, "If you're not enjoying motherhood it's probs bc you're not trolling your kids enough." Watch the video below for a good laugh:

For children, the experience of being completely reliant on others and not having any real power of their own, it's a beautiful gift to offer relief through a good laugh. Getting to be 'in on the joke' is an amazing situation. Watching kids develop and learn from the little tricks of their parents, awesome.